PATOU ALPACAS BLOG - Ramblings from an Alpaca Farm in south Wiltshire

To go, or not to go.

2012-01-26T06:56:00.000Z

Picture the scene.
I'm at the 'day job', it's somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning. It's raining as I enter an unlit block of flats, a violent disorder has been reported. I am alone as the beam from my torch bounces off the walls of the long corridor. The floor is slippery and as my boots are wet I have to tread carefully so as not to fall over. At the end of the corridor the last door is ajar and there is the sound of a woman shouting hysterically at something or someone. I make my way carefully along the corridor steeling myself for what lies ahead. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing to attention as adrenalin rushes around my body. Out of habit I methodically pat my chest, checking that my handcuffs, baton and spray are where they should be and are ready to go. I look at the numbers on the doors as I pass them counting up from 1 towards the door at the end, number 12. The woman's shouting gets louder and louder as I approach, the language which was fruity as I entered has turned ugly and swear words are flowing freely, all shouted with feeling and a great deal of venom.
I am on full alert as my eyes look one way then the next, I can hear through my earpiece that back-up is 5 to 10 minutes away. I can hear a baby screaming from somewhere behind the door of number 8 as I pass and the muffled sounds of a parent trying to soothe him or her. My mind is racing as I arrive at the door of flat 12 and as I gently push it open several questions are simultaneously rushing around inside my head. Who is she shouting at? What has been going on? Who else is in the flat and how big are they? Shall I get my pepper spray out ready to give an attacker a faceful? Should we or should we not take a pregnant female to the Futurity?

No matter how hard I try, and I don't try very hard, I just can't stop thinking about alpacas and the year ahead. Is it just me? It can't be?

In case the suspense is too much for you........ the woman was shouting to her ex-boyfirend down the phone who had got drunk and wet himself before plonking himself, much to her annoyance, on the her sofa. She had given him an earful and he had managed to run away before I arrived. She obviously thought he needed a bit more of an earbashing which was thoughtfully shared with everyone within a hundred yards.

Anyway the subject of my deliberation about which Sue and I have had a long discussion is how pregnant would an alpaca have to be before we decided not to take her to a show? Actually we have never taken a pregnant female to a show, never. But, many people do and I think if the female is naturally a calm animal and is used to going to shows, why not? We still haven't finalised our decision and it would only be the Futurity as it is so early in the season, but we are very tempted. The lady in question, Reeya, who would be 8 months pregnant at the time, is looking awesome!

Reeya, a Jack of Spades girl, with her mother, Dee, our oldest alpaca.

Decisions

2012-01-16T17:20:00.000Z

Sue and I have been talking this week. I mean we have been discussing things, not just talking, we actually talk to each other very nearly every day! We have been talking because there are plenty of alpaca related decisions to be made. Matings and shows mainly and so far some decisions have indeed been made. Probably the biggest quandary was over The British Alpaca Futurity. We have loved going in the past, three days of total alpaca immersion, fantastic. But, and this was the reason for our long debate, it is a costly affair. It's the best show in Europe but it does come at a price. Anyway after hours of bean counting we have decided that we will be taking the Mighty Patou Show Team on it's first outing at this years Futurity.

A month after that and two days after the World Alpaca Conference is The Alpaca 2012 show which is being organised by the South West Alpaca Group. I am on the organising committee (I know, how very grown up of me) and we had a meeting last week. I tell you what folks this show is shaping up to be every bit as good as the Futurity. It is going to be at The Hand Equestrian Centre which is a fantastic venue. All the animals will be under the same roof, there will be two show rings, four judges and a fleece show. Not only that but huge TV screens will show footage of the judging and results and there will be an evening function too. I urge you to check out the above link and get your show teams entered. We will probably be taking the biggest ever Patou Show Team, it will indeed be Mighty!

The team itself has not just yet been finalised but is shaping up rather well in a largely brown sort of way. We've been out today getting hands on in the fleece department. It is interesting to note the way the cria that were shorn differ vastly from the ones that weren't. Here for instance is the lovely Sirrocco, our oldest cria absolutely covered in hay.

And now here we have Sabrina, shorn as a cria, who is just as lovely but much, much tidier!

Again, here is Sherwood, shorn, neat and tidy. The shorn cria also have a habit of walking about with a clump of hay sticking out of their mouths. Sort of like a badge.

Woody and Sabrina will be in the show team, Sabrina (full sister to the awesome Ruby-May) has a fleece that is just getting better the longer it gets and Woody's has been super right from the start. The decisions about who we take and who we leave will be the toughest selection process we have ever had this year. I can't wait to get all the potentials together next month and make those final decisions. Halter training will be under way soon!

One last thing

2012-01-05T08:08:00.001Z

Right that's that then Christmas is over for another year. The decorations came down today, the remains of the turkey went in the bin yesterday and it is only a week until Angus's birthday. Time moves on and so must we. But before we do I am going to go off on one about Christmas, I've got a right old monk on about it and I need to get it off my chest, so here goes.

Hopefully after this minor Patou rage there will be no mention of Christmas until December next year. There will be of course, in this ever impatient world that we live in there will be plenty of Christmas talk before December 2012. Was it October last year that the shops started covering everything in tinsel?
If I had my way, anyone, individual, organisation or whatever that makes mention of Christmas before December the 1st at the very earliest should be taken away to a place where they should be hanged from the neck until they are dead. Honestly, they should. They are spoiling it for those of us who have restraint. It's not that I don't like Christmas, I do, I love it! I just wish that we as a nation (is it the whole world?) could stop being so bloody needy! Why can't we just wait? Why such a long build up? Collectively, as a nation, just exactly how old are we? Grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

A deep breath........and relax. Thank you I feel better now.

So now to all things alpaca. We are now less than three months away from the arrival of the first cria of 2012. The first ever Van Diemen Qjori of Patou baby will hopefully arrive before the end of March.
The mother of the first one will be Dee, our 14 year old Chilean girl and mother to our top brown girl from last year, Reeya (in fact she's the best we have ever produced and she still looks fabulous!) so we have high hopes from the start, no pressure then Qjori!

After the first one we have a steady spread of births until the end of June when the last one is due. Our initial predictions of 16 births took a small hit a few weeks ago when The Lord Lieutenant of Chilfrome Timothy Twinkletoes arrived with the scanner. Thirteen nicely pregnant but three, Lily, Fifi and Rosa had lost their pregnancies somewhere along the way. Still a busy enough year for us part-timers. There will be 22 females in total to get pregnant this year so we have to get our thinking caps on to decide the mating strategy. We will be using black males over our black females this year and the rest really depends on what Qjori produces. We will be making fluid rolling decisions as we progress through the Spring and early Summer.

Patou 'Roger' Resilient.

As far as the show team goes, well this year we appear to be very male heavy. Qjori will have the year off after his splendid show season in 2011 which means intermediate browns Roger Resilient and Rafiki will step up. We have just been out for a fleece check and they are both looking very nice thank you. Woody and Sultana, I mean Sultan, are still looking good for the junior brown male berths and that about wraps it up. Reeya is still looking stunning but she is due to give birth on the 30th of May which is cutting it a bit fine. So four brown boys it is then!

Rafiki striking a pose last year.

The weather here has been pretty grim, as with everywhere else, trees down, torrential rain, mud, mud and more mud. However, life must go on and Sue and I were out yesterday giving everyone their monthly AD&E injections. It was very pleasing to see that everyone is holding their condition, we must have the feeding regime about right.

We do have one casualty, first time mum Minstrel has a nasty sprain to her front right leg. The bottom joint is swollen and hot. She is weight bearing on it and getting around in a sort of hoppy 'I don't want to be doing this' type of way. We are treating her with anti-inflammatories and will see how things develop. I'm sure she is a victim of the slippery muddy slopes we have here.

Minstrel and Sherwood photographed last summer.

Right, enough of this mundaneness. I have things to do and places to go. Adios!

More damage and two 'camels'.

2011-12-22T10:22:00.000Z

Once again people I must report on a 'Well that's another fine mess you've gotten us into' incident.

And once again I must take the blame on the chin.

It began with an e-mail a few weeks ago. A Christmas pageant was being held in a small village with a big heart called Allington, just west of Salisbury. They were having a walking pageant whereby the villagers would be visiting three 'stations'. The baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph in a barn with some sheep, then the playground where the Three Wise Men would be with some camels and finally on to the church for the grand finale. We were to be involved in the Three Wise Men section. Alpacamels were requested. We had attended the village's summer fete and went down very well. Now we were in demand again, although the boys, Roger and Rafiki (Rico has moved on to a life of luxury) would be required to act like camels. Marvellous, we can do that I replied, what time do you want us?

The Pageant was due to start at 5pm, we were asked to be there by 4.30pm, plenty of time to get everything organised. It was about a 40 minute drive, nice and relaxed, what could go wrong? To be on the safe side I built in an extra half hour. We would leave at 3.15pm and be there by 4 to soak up the atmosphere. It would also mean the boys would be there in the daylight to begin with so they could familiarise themselves with their surroundings and practice their camel impersonations.

At 2.45pm precisely I sauntered over to the Land Rover to drive into the field to fetch the trailer. Angus opened the field get and in I went. At this point something like this went through my head ' Oooh that's a little bit slippery old boy!' The entrance to the field is on what I can only describe as a multi-faceted slope. It is uphill and slopes right to left, then right to left again a tad before a huge swing from right to left again. On the way out it is uphill then downhill and left to right etc. In other words, looking back on it now, it is a ridiculous field entrance and should be banned. It is an arse of a field entrance.

Anyway hitching up the trailer went without incident. The plan was to exit the field with the trailer then walk the boys down and load them on the road, which is relatively flat. Angus was in charge of the gate, I would be piloting the Land Rover trailer combo and Sue would be overseeing from the rear. Off I went along the flat bit, started to power up the incline before glancing in the door mirror where I saw Sue flapping her arms and running after me. Something was obviously very wrong. I stopped, on the brow of the uphill bit. Oh you foolish, foolish boy. I was only about ten feet from the gate and so far it had been ok. Sue told me that one of the wheels on the trailer was not going round, the brake had obviously stuck, even though it hadn't been on, strange that. How does that happen? Anyway after hoofing the wheel several times I got back in and set off...................sideways. I wasn't quite on the downhill stretch but was on the severe left to right gradient and so that is the direction I went, left to right. So far left in fact that I came to rest on the gate which was wide open and up against the fence. And there ladies and gentlemen I came to rest. Wheels spinning uselessly, engine screaming pointlessly as I dug myself in. Now I've been 'dug in' up to the axles before (that's another story) and it's not good so before it got to the 'belly in the mud' point I stopped. A nice tantrum brewing I then clambered over the gear stick etc to get out of the passenger side. I may have sworn a bit and kicked a few things. It had come to the 'What the hell do we do now!!!' moment. In fact I might even have said those very words. Even with the trailer unhitched I couldn't move anywhere except to further embed myself in the gate.

To cut a long and tantrum filled story short I managed to get a farmer friend to come over with his Defender which had a winch. The Discovery was towed out to the sound of screeching metal as the steel gate ripped away at the drivers side of my lovely blue (now stripey) Land Rover. The trailer was then winched with me acting as a 'buffer zone' between it and the destructive gate. I now know what it must be like to be one of those fat round things that hangs at the side of a boat to stop it getting scratched on the quayside. It's hot and sweaty that's what it is!

So finally at 4.20pm we had the trailer and the Land Rover out of the field. The boys were still at the far end of the paddock and I was bursting for a wee. I woud like to remind you that the Pageant was beginning at 5pm, a 40 minute drive away. Sue got the boys, whilst I, well you know, and we set off, muddy, sweaty and incredulous as to what had just happened. We spend a lot of time being incredulous these days.

Driving as fast as I could without being silly we arrived just in the nick of time. Having forgotten the camera (typical) I took a couple of shots with my Blackberry, they are not very good but you get the idea of the thing.

Here are the boys, having just been visited by some sheperds, or was it the Klu Klux Klan?

Here are the boys again. Just behind them are the three wise men sitting on a bench talking about football or lego or something. Beyond them, coincidentally, is my 'day job' motor, weird.

And that was that. The trailer is now parked on the driveway and the Land Rover is looking, well it's looking as a Land Rover should, a little bit battered.

Tip Top herd!!

2011-12-05T16:52:00.000Z

Yesterday was the last major husbandry day of the year. It was time to grapple with the whole herd and get them ready for winter so to speak. I was very ably assisted by young Hamish Davidson. Hamish is the 16 year old son of a colleague of mine and he is studying Animal Management at Sparsholt College in Hampshire. He did a project on alpacas recently and as he is due to handle the alpacas at the college this week he wanted a bit of hands on experience so that he would look a bit of an expert in front of the rest of the course and his tutors. It was just before 8am when Hamish was dropped off at Patou HQ for a busy morning. First up was to wait until I had eaten my bacon sandwich, well it was Saturday!

Luckily despite the weather forecast the sun shone and as Sue disappeared on the first of a couple of 'appointments' with Angus we set off to round up the first group. They were sorted out with a final worming injection and another dose of AD&E. We had wormed about two months ago but due to the unseasonably warm weather we wanted to worm again after the first couple of frosts. I want the herd going into winter parasite free so that they can retain as much condition as possible. We were also microchipping the cria, which is not one of my favourite jobs but it needs to be done.

The first group done we headed off to deal with the boys, or should I say 'the fatties'. The boys have just been having a small amount of feed but because of the late autumn grass are quite lardy indeed. Good condition to be in just going into the cold weather.
We then stopped for coffee and a cake which Sue had thoughtfully provided and then we were off to do the bigger group of girls and cria.
After 66 injections, 10 microchips and all 31 animals getting a thorough going over we were done, just in time for lunch.

The only unpleasant bit were the two cria who bled when I was putting the chips in. Woody wasn't too bad and we stoppd the bleeding quite quickly but poor Sahara bled like a very bleedy thing. It took ages to stem the flow and as you can see from the picture I took this morning she looks a bit of a mess!

She has completely recovered from her breathing problems and despite the wet bedraggled look, is turning out to be a lovely looking female. Her fleece is looking pretty darn good too, could we be entering a fawn in a show next year? Time will tell.

Here is a picture of the large group of girls eating breakfast this morning.

The Mighty Patou Herd is in tip top condition going into winter and that makes me a very happy boy!

I can see clearly now the hedge has gone!

2011-11-24T17:22:00.001Z

It has been another busy week here in Patouland. On Monday our second field shelter was finally delivered. Our old neighbour, a splendid farmer with a large tractor, gave me a call to say that the shelter was now on the back of a trailer and was ready to be transported. 'It's a bit wide though' he said. Sue and I toodled over and sure enough there it was on the trailer, and it did look a bit wide!

It is a 10ft x 12ft field shelter on wooden skids but it has a 2ft overhang at the front effectively making it 12ft square. Some of the lanes around here are barely that wide and although it only needed moving about three miles there were a lot of trees to negotiate.

I took the lead and shot ahead, lights blazing, to worn oncoming traffic (there wasn't a lot) and the field shelter began it's (ever so slightly illegal) trip along the country lanes. Before long it was deposited in the field exactly where we wanted it and it was surrounded by alpacas. I say 'exactly' where we wanted it because at the time that was exactly where we wanted it. Today it has been dragged, pushed, pulled, kicked and nurdled into a slightly different position! Not exactly where we wanted it today but somewhere different to where it was. Most unsatisfactory! I have no photographs whatsoever of the trip or the field shelter, so it's all down to your imagination.

Yesterday I was at home and luckily Sue was at home with me. Normally this sort of thing only happens to me when I am alone. I am always telling Sue that being me isn't the easiest thing in the world to be. Yesterday she was witness to how I can get myself into a ridiculous mess in a very short period of time. No pictures again guys so please, if you dare, visualise this:

I attempted to move some hurdles and gates to the top of the boys field using the trailer, as I had already got it hitched up for another purpose. I knew the top of the field was getting wet and slippery but I thought if I took a good run at it I would make it through the open gateway and up the very steep incline to the top. I stuck the Discovery into low ratio, gunned the engine from way back and pointed the front at the open gateway knowing I would have to clear the gateway then turn slighty right to attack the North Face of the slope. It felt a bit 'wallowy' and a bit 'splashy' as I careered towards the gateway but I was committed and we were soon through and the nose of the Land Rover rose as I hit the bottom of the slope. Fine so far.

Alas the summit was never reached. I estimate that I got about three quarters of the way up and then momentarily I became stationary, time seemed to freeze and then we started sliding with increasing speed and lessening control backwards down the hill. How we got back through that gateway I will never know. A two and a half ton Land Rover, a half ton man and a ten foot livestock trailer fishtailing uncontrollably backwards down a steep hill, boy that was some adrenalin rush. The bottom of the hill came and I could see a fence rapidly approaching in both wing mirrors. There was nothing else for it than to voluntarily enter into a jackknife situation. That did the trick, stopped everything dead in a heap of wet mud. Right, a very opportune time to accompany Sue, who had been watching the 'Frank Spencer' moment unfold, home for lunch.

I won't bore you with the details of how we got out of the mess I had plunged us into, suffice it to say it took a lot of time, a lot grunting, sweating and inch by inch manouevering to achieve. I have now parked the trailer and the top field, middle field and bottom bottom field are apparently out of bounds.

And just to prove it here is a picture of the trailer parked up for the winter. Which brings me onto the subject referred to in the title (apologies to Johnny Nash). Today the tractor with the hedgetrimmer came past and low and behold we can see more clearly now! This photograph was taken from the back doorstep. Dilly, one of our two resident whitey's dominates but is surrounded by the black girls and assorted others.

The other interesting thing this week was that I attended a presentation in Dorset by the South West TB Farm Advisory Service. What a very interesting couple of hours that was. There was a badger expert who gave a fascinating insight into the everyday life of the badger, it's habitat, it's feeding habits, it's breeding habits, basically everything you need to know about those stripey little buggers.

There was a talk by a vet from Animal Health who advised us on farm security and together with a veterinary pathologist gave us a very good insight into the current TB state in Camelids in the South West and the country as a whole. I can't stress how interesting it was, I actually paid attention the whole way through which is very rare for me!

One thing that came out in the figures (and I think everyone was surprised) was that although last year there were 16 NEW cases of TB in Camelids in the South West, this year, so far, there have been NO confirmed new cases in the south west and only ONE new case in the country. When I say 'confirmed' I mean confirmed by culture growth, or something like that.

Now I know that there is a long way to go and that vigilance must remain paramount but that is very good news as far as I am concerned.

The world is turning brown!

2011-11-18T11:47:00.000Z

Yes, just in case anyone had forgotten I thought I would reiterate that I believe the future is bright and the future is brown. Not bright brown but rich, glorious,earthy, gorgeous brown. Hang on a minute what's this? Two blog postings in a week, the same week! I know, I know, what can I say, chores done and a couple of hours to go before I have to dress up and go to work so there was nothing else for it than to scoot out with the dogs and the camera into the deepest recesses of Patouland.

For your delectation a selection of Patou 'brownies' to peruse.

Firstly, probably the most important 'brownie' in the herd. The Mighty Qjori, who now aged 3 and a half, is really a very solidly built boy. He has changed so much since he arrived from Oz and I think he looks pretty darn marvellous. The anticipation for next years cria is something that you can touch here in Patouland. In fact the anticipation is so real we have had to put it in a box and stack it on top of the huge box of excitement. I just can't wait to see what the Big 'Un can produce. We have 14 girls carrying little Qjori cria so no pressure then!

Next up is the young pretender, Roger Resilient, who's development we are keeping a very close eye on. At 18 months old he is looking pretty good and his fleece is coming on very nicely. He obviously has some growing to do and we are interested to see what he can do in the ring next year. Him and Rafiki follow Qjori around quite a bit, I think there is a bit of hero worship going on.

And now for some girls, Patou Rosa was our first Columbus cria and will give birth next summer to the first Columbus/Qjori cria. Rosa herself is the spitting image of Clump, an eagerly awaited birth!

And for the future here is Spirit another Clump cria who is completely adorable. Always keen to rub noses and a complete favourite in Sue's books I don't think Spirit will be going anywhere. In the background are our two Collabear girls, Joy and Victoria.

Joy and Victoria are pictured here with Priscilla, all three have a degree of white fibre on them. All pregnant to Qjori it will be interesting to see what we get.

Now on to our most successful brown female to date, Millie. Daughter of Lily she is, in my book the closest we have to my perfect female alpaca. I just think she is utterly gorgeous and her Qjori cria next year is probably the one that I am most excited about.

So there we have it for today, some of our brownies, hang on what's this? A picture of a non brown alpaca?

A black alpaca? It appears to be a picture of my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, Lily!

I wonder how that got there.

I have answered the call!

2011-11-14T17:45:00.000Z

Right, the passage of time is ridiculous, I wake up on a Monday morning have a cup of tea and all of a sudden it's Thursday. I know the days are getting shorter in that it is getting dark just after lunch time but it seems like the days really are getting shorter, I mean less hours shorter, and everyone's writing is looking smaller but that just might be my failing eyesight. I have got to the stage now where my arm just isn't long enough for me to get my watch far enough away to get it into focus. What's that all about? Cosmo Smallpiece here we come!

Anyway, what's new here? Well last week I was called to arms. The call came and I had to respond. I have been draughted onto a committee! Never before have I been on a committee and there's probably a good reason for that. Committees are for grown ups, a status that I don't ever feel that I have ever achieved and to be honest I have never really tried to be one. Committees also have to attend Committee Meetings and that just doesn't sound good. Meetings are boring generally, long, boring and they make my brain ache. I have the attention span of a gnat these days and if there is a window with a country view to look out of that's where my eyes will be going at the slightest chance.

However, the call came and I am now part of the committee that is organising the Alpaca Show that will follow the World Alpaca Conference. It is being organised by SWAG members and will take place at The Hand Equestrian Centre near Bristol. The 2011 SWAG show was held there, it was a great weekend but there will be many changes made to how the show was organised. Lessons have been learned and it is set to be a cracker of a show.

We had our first meeting last week and after 3 and a half hours of jibber jabber I was actually quite excited and I wasn't quite expecting that.

We have also started weaning here, we have five cria in various states of wingey whineyness and five mums who don't really look like they are that bothered at all. Poor Sabrina (above) seems the worst affected and runs around a lot shouting. A few days and they will have settled and then it will be time for microchips, ear tags, registering and halter training. Plenty of work still to come and so little time!

Where did it go?

2011-10-31T12:21:00.000Z

Yes people, where did the last three weeks go? Where? My last blogging effort was on the 12th of October! What? Tomorrow it will be November! Where have I been? Well I have been here and there of course but obviously I just haven't had the time to sit in front of the computer and post a blog. Inexcusable, but since we moved house we just don't seem to have any spare time. It is manic. Either that or I am now suffering unknowingly from Catatonic fits that last for hours at a time.

So a quick recap. Firstly we managed to get the large field shelter across and finally I rounded up a posse of splendid chaps who helped to rebuild it.

How many times was I asked why I hadn't marked all the pieces as I took the shed down? Well I just don't know but it seemed rather a lot and it was just starting to lose its humour value when the final roofing sheet went up.

The two chaps from Devon who built the shed two years ago managed to put it up in about three hours. I reckon, give or take a few hours, it took us three days. Largely, I know, as it was pointed out a few times, due to the fact that I didn't mark the pieces as it was taken apart, stupid boy. Lesson learned there.

Actually when we started to take it apart I thought 'Ooh should I mark the bits as they come off so we know where they go when it's time to rebuild?' Unfortunately I must have been distracted by a falling leaf or a bumblebee or something and that was that, the damage was done.

Anyway as a result if you look closely you can see that it isn't quite as....., well it isn't quite how it was meant to be..........if you see what I mean, and there are holes in the roof where the old screw holes didn't quite line up with the roof purlins............, but hey ho it's up and from a distance it looks marvellous!

So to today, Sue and I have the morning together, sadly the day job beckons me after lunch for an evening of Halloween japes, but we were able to do the morning rounds together. This way please Doctor Patou.

First it was across the road to the field split into three paddocks where we have 1) Columbus, 2) Qjori and his sidekicks Rafiki and Roger and 3) A group of females with cria who get to use the newly constructed shed.

Here are Bannock, Minstrel and Lily running up to the shed having been flaunting themselves cheekily in front of Columbus. Lily's turn of acceleration was so startlingly quick that her right ear simply blew off her head. Amazing. I now have it in a jar in the fridge.

The black girls on the run

And here they are with the others at the newly constructed shed, and no I did not take this photograph with a fisheye lens, the roof is slightly, how shall I say it,............ artistically set.

A slightly non-rectangular shed.

It was then a quick scuttle down the hill to Columbus for me as Sue went up the hill to see the Qjori gang. I had poop inspection duties to carry out. Herr Clumpmeister has been a bit off colour for a couple of days and yesterday he was voiding himself in a rather watery fashion. We gave him a shot of Noromectin yesterday and I was checking to see what effect it had taken. Clump is very much a creature of habit so I went to where the previous days liquidity had been (ok folks you may have guessed I just can't spell diarrhoea) and where it had been (Sue had cleared it up, or smeared it up one of the two) to my delight was a nice brown hand grenade and a bag of chocolate raisins. Splendid, that seems to have done the trick.

What is slighty concerning is that the herd was wormed about six weeks ago. I guess due to the ridiculously warm weather we may have to worm again. We will be collecting some samples this week for testing and so we should know where we are and what we need to administer.

We then went to Clumps pen in the corner of his field and looked across the lane to the other field. Obviously having seen, heard or smelled that it was feeding time the other girls had rounded themselves up and were waiting patiently. Clump's pen is in this corner of his field as he was spending most of his day there gazing lovingly at 'his girls', (he refuses to accept that most of them are now Qjori's girls), so we put up a pen in the corner, no rounding up required as he loves it there.

The view from Clump corner.

Safe in the knowledge that Clumpy is on the mend we headed across the lane to the other bunch. These are the fatties, the hardies, the 'we don't need a shed yet' brigade. A feisty bunch they are make no mistake.

This is nicely illustrated in the below picture as Sue is mugged as she goes through the gate.

There was a right old ding dong going on and Dilly (white, head in bucket) somehow ended up moments later standing looking sorry for herself with a droopy lip. She must have upset one of the 'Hair trigger spit monster family' who are all in this group. It does get a bit messy in there sometimes.

Actually the HTSM family, Priscilla, Bobby, Poppy and Penny are the equivalent of some sort of Mafia hit squad. They don't take any nonsense from anyone and Penny in particular is the expert exponent in the art of the pre-emptive strike. She will walk up to another alpaca and let loose with no noticeable provocation, she follows this up with a slighty maniacal stare that would melt marble and the 'hit' moves away wondering what the hell they did wrong.

A mugging caught on camera.

Finally, as Sue has just taken a plate of scones out of the oven which will obviously need tasting, is a picture of the scruffiest little alpaca in the herd. Patou Scout, son of Fifi and Columbus, is always wet, always muddy and always covered in detritus. Cute as a button, friendly as can be (he is from the 'Space Cadet family') he is a real favourite here.

Scout, a grubby little herbert.

The Great Escape!

2011-10-12T10:58:00.000+01:00

Time has passed and once again I find myself with enough time to sit at the laptop and rattle out a blog posting. I am now on days off after a seven day stretch at the day job which haven't been the easiest seven days I can tell you. You probably don't want to know and I do not require any sympathy but the 'bug' that I caught in the germpool that is 'The North' developed into something a lot more sinister and I am now a week into the most vile bout of gastro-enteritis that I have ever had. My days have to be very carefully planned out so that I am able to sit down frequently. On the bright side, I have lost nearly two stone in the last ten days and am a mere sliver of what I was last week (alright I am still a pretty darn large sliver) but I am going in the right direction and hopefully I will be able to use this as a springboard to silfdom. No doubt that this time next year I will barely visible to the naked eye.

Anyway, onwards to all things alpaca. The herd was very naughty yesterday, so naughty that I haven't quite decided what form the inevitable punishment will take.

Sue and I manage everything here between us, but most things are done 'solo'. Having the mighty herd, the dogs, the cats, the chickens and an eight and a half year old Jedi Knight to look after invariably means that when I am working Sue is not and vice versa. As a result certain things are handled by one or the other of us and we reunite in glorious harmony for the big jobs.

Well, yesterday was a day when I was flying solo at home. Not a lot to do, feeding went without a hitch, school drop off done, dogs walked, chickens released into the wild, breakfast thought about and then dismissed as a bad idea, you get the picture.

I then had to move a hay feeder from the boys field to the girls new field. I loaded it into the trailer and drove it round to the far side of the field where there is a gate with easy access. I then drove it into the middle of the field where there is a large Sycamore tree where the herd tends to gather, (see above picture). It was unloaded together with an extra half bale of hay which I put at the base of the tree. The massed ranks were already there and there was plenty of rolling and head rubbing and general happy behaviour that manifests itself when fresh hay is delivered. As you can see from the below picture Prisclla, Rosa and Reeya are tucking in.

Then I made a decision that perhaps with the benfit of hindsight was not the wisest decision I have ever made. Rather then exit via the gate I had entered by I decided to exit via the other gate at the bottom of the field which opens directly onto the lane that runs past our house. Next to this gate is a pen where we feed the herd and carry out any husbandry tasks. I drove down to the gate leaving the herd munching on their new hay. I opened the field gate which makes quite a loud screeching noise. I looked back at the herd who by now, although still fifty yards away, were now all staring at me with interest. This is when I should have shut the gate and left the field the way I came in, but no. I returned their stare and as they didn't move I got back into the Land Rover and drove through the narrow gate turning right into the lane. By the time I had sped back to shut the gate it was too late, the herd was moving through like some sort of fluffy liquid. I still can't quite believe how quickly they reached the gate. I couldn't cover both sides of the trailer and I couldn't shut the gate as I was trying to shoo some back in as a result within a minute the whole herd, all twenty five of them were in the lane. That wouldn't be so bad but what made it a million times worse was that half ran up the hill one way and half ran up the hill the other way!

At this point I stood there for a few seconds barely believing what I had done and frantically trying to reason with myself to find a solution to my problem. A few seconds later and all alpacas had disappeared from view. It was as if they had never been there in the first place, it was surreal!

I searched for someone, if for no other reason other than that I would have someone to look inredulously at but there was nobody around.

What happened next as I look back on it with a great hilarity (it wasn't funny at the time you understand) seems to have been reminiscent of some Benny Hill sketch. I ran to get a bucket and some food and headed off in one direction hoping that there were no cars about. I managed to get one bunch back past the field to join the others and then wedged the Land Rover and trailer across the road. There was then a long run up the hill to get beyond the by now very excited herd who were browsing the hedges and generally having a whale of a time. All the time the four boys were charging up and down the hedgeline on the other side of the road winding everybody up. It was almost as if they were encouraging the appalling behaviour, I must have a stern word with them later

To cut a long story short I finally managed to get them all back in, no casualties and no-one any the wiser.

The herd has received a severe talking to and do you know what? I don't think they paid the slightest bit of attention! Might as well have been talking to myself. But then maybe it's me that needs the talking too afterall?

Spirit, Scout and Sultana... I mean Sultan.

Sabrina and Lily.

Today I will be collecting Collabear Joy and Collabear Victoria, two females that we bought at auction six months ago. Again I am flying solo, I may just stay in the field until Sue gets home.

Blah, blah blah

2011-10-03T18:49:00.000+01:00

Ok, have been absent again. Je suis desole.

Quick update.

Girls moved onto fresh lush pasture.

Lily, eating the fresh lush pasture.

Two girls go down with something, obviously in pain. One has pneumonia (Baytril and multi-vits administered) One has bloat (some other drug administered, I don't remember what as I was at work).

The mighty herd, amongst the fresh lush pasture.

Both girls now doing much better.

Sahara (cria with breathing difficulties) now seems to be almost breathing normally, almost. Photograph taken from odd angle for some reason.

Fecal samples show herd is parasite free, we must be getting something right then!

Qjori is still rocking some females worlds as he tops 20 outside matings for the year.

I've been away for a 'boys weekend' in The Lake District, was hungover yesterday, now feeling afflicted with some bug or other. Lemsip Max has been administered and shivers have been replaced with the sweats. Sausages and Ratatouille should sort that out.

Field shelter is now in the new field, in bits, posse required for reconstruction but day job is interfering.

All in all, everything appears well with the world.

Tired, happy, but now a bit fuming!

2011-09-23T18:30:00.000+01:00

Ok so here I am again with what has become a weekly blog posting.

Actually I am in a bit of a mood as I write, in fact I have tried to shake off my ire but it is nestling within me like a bad prawn jalfrezi. I am hoping that writing this blog will be therapeutic and the act of committing some alpacaness to screen will calm me down. If not Sue will badger me into a good mood, she does that you know. It's like being attacked with a large tickle stick, only not with Ken Dodd on the other end of it.

Anyway the title of this particular posting starts with the word 'tired'. I am tired (maybe that's why I am in a strop?) because I was up at 4am to turn in at the day job. This morning at 6.47am precisely the sun rose in the east and caused something special to happen at Stonehenge. I don't know what, I don't much care. Suffice it to say that because of this 'event', known as the Autumn Equinox, several hundred people feel the need to go to Stonehenge and experience the sun coming up over the Heel stone or something and therefore someone like me has to be there in case someone does something silly. No-one did which was splendid, the sun rose, everyone went aah, or started chanting, job done. It was a beautiful morning so there was the screeching of tyres as I set off in search of a nice bacon butty. Marvellous. That's why I am tired.

Anyway the rest of the day flew past (pretty darn busy once the bacon had settled) and because of an early start I was blessed with an early finish. A dash home, a quick cuppa with Mrs S and then it was out into the field to bag a few photographs of the cria in their new paddock.

Here is a picture of some mighty alpaca cria. Aah. Now I almost feel like chanting.

A happy time spent lolloping around amongst the alpacas with the camera, snapping at will.

Now you may have noticed a cria in the above photograph wearing a coat. The reason for that is that the Mighty Patou Show Team has been selected. Yes, selected. Not just, 'Right everyone in who's eligible', no an actual real selection process has taken place here. There has obviously been some big disappointments and some jubilation along the way but all have now resigned themselves to their fate. I did make it clear that just because you haven't been shorn doesn't necessarily mean that you don't go to a show. It sort of gives them all a bit of hope, they bucked up a bit after that.

So, introductions. First up is Patou Sabrina. A full sister to Patou Ruby-May who did so well for us last year, mother Bobby (a Mateus girl) and father, Lillyfield Jack of Spades. Next to her on the right is little Sandstorm, he was a bit miffed to miss out on selection and was less than happy with the 'We don't do fawns' line.

Next is Patou Spirit, Sue's little favourite, mother Patou Fifi (a Wiracocha's Dream girl), father our boy Columbus, Herr Clumpmeister. Spirit is absolutely lovely.

So we've had the two girls, now to the two boys. Some of you may remember Sherwood, aka Woody, from an earlier posting when we almost lost him to a bad chest infection when he was about a week old. Well good old Woody is thriving (despite having unresolved 'issues' with his mother) and is a very handsome chap with a cracking fleece. His mother is Patou Minstrel, a Jack of Spades girl and his father is Mr Clumpington (Columbus). Woody belongs to Angus, who is going to halter train him and lead him into the ring as a junior handler next year.

Lastly, but by no means least is Patou Sultan, not Sultana, Sultan. He is another Jack of Spades boy and his mother is Patou Penny, a Witness girl. He is the business (please ignore the badly hanging coat), I would actually say that he is the best that we have ever produced. He is a cracker. Watch out people, he's coming to a show ring near you next year. Be afraid, be very afraid, The Sultan, NOT Sultana, is going to cause a scene. Oh crikey now I've done it. Sultana, I mean Sultan also belongs to junior Patouman and will also be halter trained by him.

So there we have the happy but of the title.
Sadly the 'fuming' bit of the title will not be explained, Sue won't let me tell you. She's probably right.
Now where's that tickle stick?

Here we are.........back again!

2011-09-16T07:32:00.000+01:00

So I am back with another of my incredibly regular blogs. I appreciate that some of you may have thought that I had fallen off my perch, been carted away by the nice men in white coats or just simply done a runner, well, I haven't. I'm still here and the Mighty Patou herd has settled very well into it's new surroundings thank you very much.

So what have we been up to? Well, plenty really but first a quick report on the Romsey Show.

What a splendid show it was! Expertly organised by Karen Oglesby and Nicki Hayton and very smoothly judged by Tim Hey. Even the rain held off and only chucked it down in the lunch break. It was the first ever alpaca show at Romsey and Karen promises me it will be bigger and better next year! I urge you all, if within striking range, to attend next year. It is a super one day agricultural show in splendid surroundings and a great day out. Suffice it to say that the Steele Family sampled many rather marvellous sausages on the day and came away loaded with bags of goodies, the 'Food Zone' was a very comfortable place to spend time!

We took three boys, the Roger Resilient, Rico and for his first ever outing Rafiki. Actually we completely forgot about halter training him and so we turned up on the day with Rafiki having spent the grand total of about two minutes on the halter! Should be interesting I thought.

Angus and I set off in the dark with the boys whilst Sue remained at home to sort out the dogs, chickens and the remaining members of the Patou herd, more on the 'problems' there in another posting. It was always going to be touch and go whether Sue would make it for the intermediate brown male class, with Roger and Rafiki in the same class I was going to need help. Help arrived, or so I thought in Trevor, father-in-law to the judge. Little did we know that he couldn't show as he was related to the judge, so he was refused entry to the ring. I was already in there with Roger so could do nothing. Rafiki was then passed to Jay Holland who in turn declared himself 'out' on the grounds that he was a judge and therefore unable to show animals, so it was left to Karen Oglesby to very kindly lead Rafiki in. Of course I was just waiting with relish for him to kick off but even with so little training he was perfect on the halter and looked fantastic!

Rico picked up a 2nd place in the intermediate black male class and then Reserve Champion black male. Roger was awarded 2nd place and Rafiki third in the intermediate brown male class, with Roger securing Reserve Champion brown male. A tidy little quota of rosettes and ribbons from our three boys, we were delighted.

Rafiki is becoming more and more of a character and I fear will be going nowhere, ever. He is destined to stay and keep Qjori company with Roger. We need to keep Roger too because when Qjori is away doing that thing that he does Rafiki will need company. We still have hopes for Roger anyway, he will be in next years show team.

Rafiki, as the below picture shows loves me dearly, especially my head. When you have very little hair, like what I do, you don't need an alpaca removing what is already there!

So to today which is one of those sad ones for us. This morning Sue and I will be delivering three young boys to their new home. They aren't going far, less than ten miles in fact, but they are still going and although we know they will be looked after very well by their new owners, it's always sad to see them go. They haven't been before you understand, it's not a regular thing for these boys to go, I mean it's sad to see any of them go. The departing three are the newly crowned Romsey Show Reserve Champion Black Male, Rico and his chums Rory and Fernando.

Patou Rico

Patou Rory

Tisbury Fernando

And so there we have a quick update. Tomorrow will be another sad one for us as four females depart Patouland headed for their new lives with their new owners. Again not too far away, 20 miles or so.

Sad though it may be, that's what it's all about I suppose.

Right must crack on, much to do!

I know

2011-09-04T19:49:00.000+01:00

Look, I know. I know it has been 9 days since my last posting and I should have put something on here by now but, by crikey, we've been flat out busy dawn till dusk every day.

Not only have we been moving house, full time employment has been ongoing also. A ten hour shift means a minimum of 11 hours away from home (did I mention the fact that my route to work is along the A303 which at the moment is full of sweaty city dwellers heading to or from their second homes in Devon or Cornwall?).
Well I'll be glad when they are all back ensconced in Notting Hill or Chelsea or Kensington or wherever else they have come from and we country folk (Oooh aaargh) can have our roads back!

Once I am home from work its back to the old house, we are still bringing stuff over, the house is now empty and the garden will be by the end of tomorrow but I haven't even touched the field. Sure the alpacas are here, the hay feeders are here, the troughs, water buckets and feed buckets are here but I have two field shelters still to dismantle, transport (somehow) and rebuild, plus I have a shed load of fencing and Wiltshire gates to dismantle. Not to mention tidying up the garden and clearing away general garden crap. It is absolutely amazing how much 'crap' one family can accumulate in 6 years!

As well as all that stuff we are in the middle of the busiest alpaca time I think we have ever had. Now don't get me wrong I am not complaining it just all takes time! Qjori has been doing his thing all over the place as the number of 'booked' outside matings reaches twenty. We have people wanting to buy alpacas, in fact we have just about sold all that were available for sale (that all takes time) and we have the Romsey Show next weekend.

Not only all that but Me, Sue and Angus have just been out in torrential rain giving injections to a poorly alpaca, and there's a chicken roasting in the oven!

So, I apologise, I have been slacking, I promise to return soon with pictures and everything, there is so much to tell!

Here we are!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-26T09:53:00.000+01:00

Finally after much debate with my new best friend, Ranjit from New Delhi, we have been reconnected to broadband!
What a past 10 days we have had!
To cut a long and very tiring story short we moved in last Friday with The woofters (Josh and Kira). One cat (Belle) joined us on Sunday, the other cat Sebastian was captured on Monday swiftly followed by the chickens, Lulu and Doodle.

The mighty herd, meanwhile, gathered it's collective haunches in preparation for the big move. They knew something was up.

First of all there was much fencing to finish off, fields to top and a lot of general running around like headless chickens, however, late on Tuesday afternoon we were ready.

Four trips in the Mighty Herd Transportation Pod and we were all reunited, three humans, two dogs, two chickens, two cats and 39 alpacas and I can safely say that we all ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!! (Well the cats and chickens will once they have been released from their respective cages.)

We have a really lovely stone cottage, a super garden and at least 10 acres of lush green alpaca grazing on our doorstep!

We had loved living at Chicksgrove but this is something else, it is simply wonderful.

Not only that but since we have been here I have spent the day at the Gillingham and Shaftesbury Show and two days ago we met a lovely family who have just chosen their three females from the massed ranks of the Patou herd to form their own brand new alpaca herd.

It has literally been non stop for us all and I am rattling around today trying to get stuff done before the day job grabs me again this afternoon.

Right that's enough from me I have to go and stand outside and laugh for a couple of minutes, no reason for it, just really feel like doing it!

The Twilight Zone!

2011-08-18T17:16:00.000+01:00

The big move has begun and tonight is our final night here in Chicksgrove. Tomorrow we will be moving the heavy stuff 3 miles down the road to the new Headquarters of The Mighty Patou.
I need one more clear day of fencing and then we can start moving the herd. Forty one alpacas, 5 or 6 trips with the trailer should do it.
There are no pictures with todays blog entry as we are without computers until BT get all the wires connected. This will also be a short blog as my sausage like fingers jab ponderously at the keyboard of my Blackberry.
In fact I've had enough already.
Next post will be when Broadband is connected.

Now, it must be time for a glass of Vino Collapso!

The eye of the storm.

2011-08-10T13:55:00.000+01:00

There is a strange feeling of calm here in Patouland. We have gone from the frenzied all guns blazing attack of searching for somewhere that would accommodate us all to the annoying period whereby we wait until we are given the green light to move in. There are so many things that need to be done and so many of those things that need to be done can't be done until something else is done, if you get my drift.

In true Patou style (or is it just me) having said that we would never move ourselves again, we are doing the move ourselves, with a little help from friends and family of course. The beauty is that we have two weeks in which to move. Of course it won't be enough time, there is undoubtedly going to be a mad panic towards the end, there always is with us. Did I tell you about the time we went to Gatwick to catch a plane somewhere (obviously) arrived three hours early and still very nearly missed the plane? No? The look on that woman's face when we hi-jacked her buggy thing was priceless. Perhaps another time but believe me when I say that we can always subconsciously engineer a last minute rush.

However, annual leave has been requested and people and equipment are on stand-by.

The alpacas, as you might suspect, are completely oblivious and are lounging around doing very little, as usual.

I had a trip out this morning with Qjori to meet a couple of ladies at Reddingvale and upon my return there were alpacas crashed out everywhere. Sometimes I wish I was an animal. Take Josh, our chocolate Lab, what a life he has! He is walked at least twice a day, fed twice a day and spends the rest of the time lying about without having to give a second thought about upsetting anyone by farting or burping. As I write this he is spaced out under the table and the unpleasant odour of fermented and digested alpaca poop is gently wafting up from under his tail. Not a care in the world. Sometimes I am deeply envious.

Anyway, alpaca pictures, a must in every blog, so here are some that I have taken this morning.

Little Sandstorm, he who should have been a brown girl, is first. He is a little Jack boy and has the most splendid head in the field.

Next is a barely conscious Sebulba, dried milky chops and a yawny floppy head, really stressed that boy.

Then the darling of the herd, Spirit. Her mother Polly was originally for sale but once we saw her little Columbus girl she was immediately removed. Spirit is a little cracker and I thnk Sue's favourite. They are both going to be with us for a while I reckon.

Here is Sahara nibbling at some grass, still a worry, still acting completely normally apart from her breathing which may or may not have improved. It is hard to tell but Sue and I both think it has a little.

These fluffy bums belong to Sabrina (left) and Saracen, I crept up behind them to see if I could hear what the were talking about and I was a bit dissappointed really. Grass. How much grass do you eat type thing, very dull but I suppose what else would they talk about? I left them to it.

Sienna, who probably takes the prize for the most elegant cria this year is caught nibbling her foot. She even makes that look elegant.

So there we have it for today. We are now off to measure some fences. The new land is divided up into paddocks but only with post and rail fencing. The land used to accommodate horses and two rails certainly isn't going to keep alpacas apart. There is work to do as I said but before that there is inevitably much preparation to fanny about with.

Finally a probable diagnosis!

2011-08-05T06:17:00.002+01:00

We have had a busy couple of days here in Patouland and yesterday was not only busy but very, very interesting. You may remember that Patou Sahara (pictured below) had been suffering from some form of respiratory problems which initially was diagnosed as a possible hole in the heart coupled with pneumonia.

Yesterday I raced home from work so that we could load up Sahara, her mother Dilly and the unilateral calming influence here at Patou, Dee. We all headed off to Endell Vets Equine Hospital just outside Salisbury so that Sahara could have a chest x-ray to see if we could get to the bottom of her problem. We had been treating her with Nuflor for two weeks with no percieved effect. As a result of the lack of improvement I feared the worst, an inoperable hole in the heart, bad prognosis.

We arrived, unloaded and then literally pushed the girls into the x-ray room (they really are getting far too comfortable around us). Before the first x-ray there was much stethoscope action whilst two vets listened to Sahara's chest. Harsh lung sounds but no sign of a heart murmur. Interesting, that was good news.
The first x-ray revealed a normal size heart, a normal abdomen, diaphragm, stomach and lungs. All normal looking, nothing obvious. A second x-ray was taken from the other side and then a third from a different angle. They then took an x-ray from Dee for comparison purposes as they had never taken a chest x-ray of an alpaca before. Dee's chest was bigger, obviously, but looked exactly the same as Sahara's.

Basically everything looked normal and healthy. We had ruled out a chest infection, a heart problem, a perforated diaphragm and any sort of congenital defect in the chest area.
The vets then took blood and analysed it while we waited. Blood results showed no signs of bacterial infection. A PCV level of 14% was a surprise and is still unexplained (it should be higher). We will be seeking more advice on that today.

After much head scratching and summarising the vets came up with a probable diagnosis, Diaphragmatic Paralysis caused by degeneration of the phrenic nerve. Now, Sue had already been researching this on the internet and mentioned it to the vet, who had also been researching it on the internet prior to our arrival. Everything else seems to have been ruled out. There is little known about this rare condition. There is much speculation as to it's cause and not much known about how to treat it. It can be a fatal condition and there doesn't appear that we can do much other than to wait and see what happens. Sahara has a lot in her favour though. She is big, strong and otherwise very healthy. She continues to grow and apart from the breathing problem is thriving. We hope, and believe that it will stand her in good stead. We are feeling very positive about the future.

So, this rare condition. It may well be worth taking a note of the symptoms as it may crop up somewhere else. Lugholes back, here is what we know.

Sahara was a big healthy cria weighing in at over 10 kilos at birth. The birth (first time mum) was normal and she grew very well. In short everything looked normal. She showed the first signs of respiratory problems at 6 weeks of age. By this time she had almost doubled in weight and had been doing very well. The breathing problem was manifested by the abdominal muscles visibly doing the work of compressing the lungs. It was very easy to see from a distance. Her stomach was contracting inwards and upwards in time with her breathing. This was accompanied by flaring of the nostrils. Otherwise she carried on as normal. She was still playing with the other cria but could not sustain it for long. Her temperature was normal, physically she was normal and she was feeding and grazing as you would expect a six week old cria to do.

The vet listened to her lungs and heart. Initially he detected a heart murmur and 'crackly' lungs. She was given an anti-inflammatory (Finadyne) and a course of (anti-biotics) Nuflor. Neither had an discernible effect. She has now been breathing like this for two weeks. It hasn't got any worse, in fact I think it has improved slightly, everso slightly. She continues to behave normally, she does not appear to be in any form of distress, she seems happy and healthy, apart from the breathing, she is, and I know I have overused this word, normal.

We will give her a shot of Vitesel (Selenium/Vitamin E)) today as there is a theory that it may help. Other than that it is very much a wait and see situation, with fingers crossed.

Right, that's it, I'm off, we are walking our new fields this morning, very exciting, more on that later in the week.

New village invasion planned

2011-08-03T06:31:00.000+01:00

Right, I have about 15 minutes to blog before the day job drags me kicking and screaming through the front door. It really is getting in the way at the moment, don't they know that I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!!

I have started to write a blog posting several times in the last week without success, not one finished, this one may not even get finished, in which case I am once more talking (or writing) to myself. The last attempt was written when I did have time for a quick posting. I wrote the blog and then fell asleep as I was reading it back prior to posting. I wasn't tired you understand it was just so bloody boring!

Anyway, here is an another attempt with news from the home of the Mighty Patou Tribe.

Patou Sahara is still having breathing problems, she may have improved slightly but she should have improved a lot more. We are sadly fearing the worst. Later this week we will be taking her to the Equine Hospital in Salisbury for a chest x-ray to see if we can find out exactly what is wrong with her. We can then plan what treatment is possible, if any. We are trying to be positive but realistically her prospects are not good. We will see.

The second piece of news is that by the end of this month the massed ranks of the Mighty Patou will have upped sticks and moved on. Yes folks we have located a lovely stone cottage 2.8 miles away in the beautiful picturesque hamlet of Ridge, just outside Chilmark and have signed the papers. I have even spoken to BT about Broadband connection which is possible and should be quicker than it is here, which wouldn't be difficult, I think I can run faster than the download speeds here and that is not a joke.

We have spoken to the local sheep farmer, who happens to be a friend of ours and he has said we can have enough grazing land to accommodate us all. I will be having a site meeting (well a field meeting really) with him later today to finalise exactly where we will be grazing, I mean I won't be grazing, they will, the alpacas.

So mixed news, everyone else is in peak condition and all the cria are continuing to impress as they grow at a fabulously good rate.

Here is a picture of two of them, Spirit and Scout who will no doubt be part of the Patou show team next year.

Right, time is up, breakfast and then I am off.

Patouland update.

2011-07-26T12:53:00.000+01:00

Finally I have a few minutes in which to whack out a blog posting. Things are pretty hectic around here and stress levels are visibly building.

Our house hunt continues and my complete lack of faith in most letting agents grows steadily. I don't honestly know how some agents around here ever let out anything, to anyone, they are complete muppets.

I think if you are a professional couple with no children and have never owned an animal of any sort (or never even thought about owning an animal) you are in luck, but if there is the merest whiff of animals the snottograph goes off the scale and we are practically escorted off the premises.

That said we do have several things in the offing and fingers crossed there may be some news on a property soon.

In the meantime we are very worried about one of our cria. Patou Sahara, who is one of the biggest healthiest looking cria here, has a problem.

Last week I noticed that she was having trouble breathing. She was flaring her nostrils and using her abdomen muscles to seemingly pump air in and out. The vet was summoned and two things were discovered. Firstly. she has a crackly chest indicating an infection in her lungs. Secondly, and more worrying is the presence of a heart murmur, indicating a hole in the heart. The vet has been back after a healthy dose of Nuflor was administered and the murmur does not seem as bad. She still has the crackly chest and she has had another dose of Nuflor.

The vet has two theories. That she has caught pneumonia (there is a lot of it about apparently) and the infection and the strain of breathing heavily has caused the heart murmur. The second theory is that she has a hole in her heart that has in turn contributed to the chest infection.

Apart from her breathing difficulties she is acting absolutely normally. She runs around, she feeds well, she behaves as do the other cria, she is just blowing like a steam train all the time. We will have to wait and see if the Nuflor clears up the infection and then see what's what with the heart murmur. It is worrying, I don't like it.

Here is Sahara nose to nose with her mother as you can see she looks the picture of health. Moments before I took this photograph she felled one of the smaller cria with a mighty headbutt.

Our two newest cria, Sienna (right) and Sebulba (left) continue to thrive, as do the rest and apart from Sahara the herd is in fine fettle, the grass must be good at the moment as some of the thinner girls are really chunking up now. Positively lardy some of them.

Qjori is working well with over 20 conquests so far, but someone is still here, waiting for the phone to ring!

Clump.

Columbus - mudslinger for hire.

2011-07-14T19:29:00.001+01:00

Sue and I have been discussing what to do about Columbus, Herr Clumpmeister, The Clump.
The problem we have is that we now have eleven of his progeny here and we happen to think they are rather good. Just looking at colour alone he has given us eight brown cria and three medium to dark fawn cria. Now that may not sound like much until you consider the colour of the mothers. Out of those eleven cria four of the mothers are white, two are black, two are medium fawn and only three are brown. The brown cria are all exactly the same colour as The Clump. In my book that is pretty impressive. We asked him to produce us good looking brown cria and he did.
Our problem, and believe me we have discussed this subject in depth, is should we use him again this summer?

Our plan at the beginning of the year was to use Qjori over everyone and following his hugely successful show season we really want to stick to giving him as much opportunity to stamp his mark upon the Mighty Patou Herd. As a result he has already covered fifteen of our females and most of them are now spitting off quite spectacularly.

Our discussions have caused us to stick to our original plan and use Qjori over all our females this year, regardless of how good any of Columbus's cria are. So we have decided to offer up Columbus for lease for the remainder of the summer if anyone wants to inject a really good brown colour into their herd.

I don't quite know how to market him, I think we ummed and aaaahhed about it for too long and a magazine advert would just be too late. We are probably too late anyway but it seems a shame for him to be standing there watching it all go on without contributing.

So, his progeny have been well publicised in this blog over the last few weeks, they are here in Patouland for all to see, they are a very good advert for what Columbus can achieve.

We only showed Columbus once, last year at the Royal Bath and West Show. He was awarded first place in the senior brown male class, which given that he was the only senior brown male was pretty much a given, we knew he was good. However, what stuck in my mind that day was what the judge, Nick Harrington-Smith, said about old Clumpy. I listen to Nick, he knows a thing or two about alpacas.
Nick invited the audience to look at Columbus and observe how 'beautifully balanced' he was. He also went on to say that he was 'fine, dense' and a 'very, very good brown male'. It's funny what sticks in your mind, those words, from one of the top alpaca judges in the world, have stuck with me. It made me feel immensely proud.

Anyway, moving on. Columbus can be seen on our website or here in Patouland in the flesh. The nuts and bolts of it is that for £1,500 he can be leased for the remainder of the summer and used over as many females as you like.

So there we have it, I am using the blog to promote Herr Clumpmeister. If I am met with a wall of stony silence then so be it. If no-one takes up this offer though I will be screaming 'What the bloody hell's the matter with you all!!!'

Aha! And now.....back to brown!!!

2011-07-12T18:19:00.000+01:00

The most eagerly awaited placenta arrived yesterday. Allow me to explain. Alice one of our white females had been looking huge for months, the biggest gut of them all (the alpacas that is). She was wallowing around and Sue and I had convinced ourselves that twins was a real possibility. Especially when she gave birth yesterday after only 315 days gestation.

After she had delivered a lovely little brown boy (yes he looks fawn in the photograph but believe me he is brown, it was the lighting), she still looked huge. And as soon as he was out she was looking like pushing again. Sue and I remained in situe and waited. We occasionally looked across at each other with that 'I just don't know' expression on our faces, or was it wind? Anyway to cut a long story short after about 10 minutes of pushing and spinning, presumably so we couldn't see what was coming out, she gave birth to a very large and red placenta. Oh well at least the guessing was over.

So to our latest arrival. He is our lightest cria to date but considering his early arrival, 7.34kg isn't too bad. He is another Columbus cria, yes, another brown Columbus cria and after initially being named Spock he has now been renamed by Angus as Sebulba. Sometimes when that little boy gets home from school all sorts of decisions get reversed, it's not fair. Sebulba is apparently some weird looking beastlike thing from Star Wars. Apparently he's a kind of goodie though, even if a bit freaky looking. Still it may just be better than Spock, I just don't know. I always preferred Star Trek so maybe I am biaised.

Here he is with his mother Alice who is a cracking looking Wessex Mateus girl.

Now a quick update on a few other brown ones. Pictured below is the little munchkin Scout who is almost the spitting image of the little darling of the herd Spirit. Right behind him is Fernando, a Columbus cria from last year. Yes, he is the same shade of brown. It is quite remarkable.

Next, and I swear this is a different alpaca, is Spirit. How similar are they?

Now, Spirit is joined by Sabrina on the left and the huge bulk that is Saracen on the right. He is only four days older than Spirit!

Right that's enough for today I have a school concert to get to.

Fawns? Fawns! Fawns?!?!?

2011-07-11T14:14:00.001+01:00

We have had another birth since my last post, our tenth cria of the year and it's another fawn. This time a lovely little, (actually at 9.30kg she wasn't that little), female out of the one remaining alpaca here that doesn't belong to us, Sheba.

Once again The Clumpmeister has done a pretty impressive job. Sheba is white and her cria, who has temporarily been named Sienna, is a solid medium fawn. Well done Clumpernickle! She has incredibly long legs and is very pretty as you can see.

Here she is with her very attentive mother, Sheba. Sienna was another one born almost on the 11 month mark at 334 days and fits in with our general theme this year of everyone bailing out early doors. As I said before they just can't wait to get out this year. They are like paratroopers on a mission, they see the target and they go for it (what?).

In the background you will no doubt have noticed a rather nice Buddleia which I feel I ought to point out as it is one of the few plants that I can confidently identify. Actually if you are very attentive you will see that there are in fact two Buddleia in the background. Oh yes people it's Buddleia city here, they are everywhere.

Finally I can announce that the handsome little fawn boy (you know, he who should have been a dark brown she) born a few days a go has now been named, Patou Sandstorm is his name and he is as cute as a button, perfectly proportioned and like greased lightning. Here he is pictured with his mother, Millie.

Right enough of this drivel I have to go and see someone, somewhere, about something.

A funny old week

2011-07-08T18:25:00.000+01:00

It has indeed been a funny old week. The day job has been prominent but I write this at the end of the first of four days at home. We have had rain and it is very windy. Oooh how interesting!

I was going to have a good old rant about this and that on the blog today for my mood has been anything but stable, changing from caffeine induced delerium passing through mild and sometimes uncontrollable amusement towards short bursts (not short enough) of selfish and grumpy tantrums. This doesn't work, that's now broken, this isn't doing what it's supposed to do, that wasn't there earlier, this was there earlier, there is something missing here, this has never happened before, why does this have to happen now? That sort of a day, a rant inducing day. I went out, alone in the Land Rover, flat tyre to get fixed. I had a short but highly explosive rant in the car when no-one else was looking. Job done I am now mellowing prior to cooking a nice chilli. One of my favourites.

Anyway, no news on the house front yet, too far away, too small, too expensive, overlooked, too urban, no land nearby, grumpy farmers, completely incompetent letting agents, the search continues.

In the meantime I took a few photographs of the mighty Patou herd this morning in one of the refreshment breaks while Angus and I were playing a mammoth 1 hour table tennis session (no not on the Weewee actual table tennis with a table and balls and bats!), courtesy of a teacher training day.

Here's one for you, spot the cria, without blowing up the picture, can you spot the 9 Patou cria in the below photgraph?

Tomorrow is a day of fetes. Sue and Gus are off to his school fete whereas I am off to the Allington and Boscombe Garden Party and Village Fete with Roger, Rico and Rafiki. The weather is set fair and I have a hog roast at my venue. Marvellous.

Well that's a surprise!

2011-07-04T18:01:00.001+01:00

Today we welcomed our ninth cria of the year into the world. A warm sunny day was just what the doctor ordered and it was another birth that we missed. I was at work and Sue had nipped out to do some shopping.

When she got back and cast an eye over the mighty herd a small light coloured object caught her eye.

After a quick investigation Sue rang me at work and left a breathless message on my answerphone asking me to ring in. Now Sue only leaves breathless messages when she has been galloping and Sue only gallops when there is a new cria on the ground.

Impatiently I rang back to find out who had dropped one. It was Millie!

Regular readers may remember that this was the big one for me, the one I was most looking forward to. Millie was twice reserve champion last year and is our best brown female. Not only that but she is the daughter of our Lily, my most favourite alpaca in the whole wide world. So Millie is special, she is on the 'Never to be sold list' and is a superstar.

She is a Centurion daughter so has black parents and she was pregnant to the awesome Jack of Spades. This could be good I thought, this is next years brown Champion, I pondered dreaming of sashes and rosettes galore, here we go I thought excitedly.

'It's not exactly what was ordered' said Sue as I froze instantly, almost too frightened to ask as images of Pantomime horses flashed through my mind.
'It's a fawn boy and he's absolutely gorgeous, you shouldn't be disapppointed, he's strong and healthy and lovely!'

In one respect, from a business point of view, I am disappointed. I had ordered a brown girl, a championship winning brown girl. But he is a little cracker!

He's a bit of a tiddler, although he had been baked for 344 days he weighed in at 7.68 kilos but is strong and feeding well and well, he is pretty darn gorgeous!

Disappointed? Me? For an instant maybe but not anymore. He is going to be a real favourite here, we just know it.

Where did that week go?

2011-06-30T18:09:00.000+01:00

It would appear that I have not blogged for a week! Well where the hoo-dar-dey-doe did that week go?

I know I did an eight day stretch at the day job and am now on the third of three days off before returning to the day job tomorrow but what has happened to my spare time? It just seems to be go, go, go, here at the moment, no more cria but plenty else happening and not enough time to recount everything. I will endeavour over the week ahead to keep you all up to date. I know you could give a monkey's whatnot but I will tell you anyway.

At the moment we are trying to keep tabs on some very lively looky likey brown cria. Columbus has given us five brown ones so far and three of them are almost identical. The other two, Sirrocco and Saracen are simply ginormous, absolute behemoths both of them, Saracen is so big he is a little bit scary.

Anyway the other three little pumpkins, allow me to have a go at getting their names right:

Ok, I am pretty certain that this is little Scout, our youngest and smallest cria. Here he is doing that weird 'one front leg up' thing that they do.

Next is the little munchkin herself, Spirit. As gorgeous as gorgeousness itself.

Here is a picture of the three of them........ who knows which one is which? At a guess I would say from left to right, Woody, Scout and Spirit, about right I reckon. Exactly the same colour, mothers are black, light fawn and medium fawn. Good old Clump!

Here is the third member of the brown triumverate, Sherwood, or Woody as he is affectionately known. As you can see he has made a complete recovery from his chest infection and is a real live wire. I know it's him because of the shaved patch on his neck, I may shave a design into the fleeces of the other two actually, for identification purposes of course.

Lastly here is a picture of Patou Rosa, a Columbus cria from last year. Those of you who know Herr Clumpmeister will appreciate that Rosa is a spitting image of her dad.

Now, can I watch some ladies tennis please?

Woody's recovery!

2011-06-24T11:09:00.000+01:00

Firstly, can I say thank you for all the comments and good wishes about Woody. After two days and nights in the intensive care shed he has made a seemingly remarkable recovery and I have just been out to take a few pictures of the little monkey.

Here he is chasing Sabrina, doesn't look like there is much wrong with him there!

Here he is with Sahara, looking rather handsome.

And now without any distractions, posing for the camera.

We'll be keeping a close eye on him but I think we can safely say that he has overcome whatever it was that was ailing him. An amazing transformation from a few days ago.

Lastly, a picture of Sabrina, full sister to Ruby May and pretty much identical in every way!

One last thing for any readers who used to pick this blog up on Facebook. It will no longer appear there as I have removed myself.

And it was all going so well..............

2011-06-22T18:56:00.002+01:00

We could have been accused of being a little bit smug down here in Patouland. Eight healthy cria, eight healthy mothers, all brown apart from one medium fawn girl. Yes, it was all going swimmingly. All going swimmingly that is until yesterday when there was a bit of a flap on here.

I missed the beginning of the drama as I had been selfishly enjoying myself on a twelve hour night shift at Stonehenge until 8 o'clock on Tuesday morning. As a result I was in a deep sleep upstairs as things unfolded. Sue was downstairs and was dealing with the beginnings of a bit of a crisis. I was awoken after a couple of hours by the dogs barking and spoke to Sue who had just returned from the field. She was not happy with one of the cria. One of the neighbours had alerted her to a cria lying alone at the bottom of the field. They had approached and the cria was motionless. Sue had approached and found Woody, who had now been joined by his mother Minstrel. Sue touched him and he had got up and run off with Minnie. But Sue for some reason was not happy (I love that woman!) and decided to investigate further. His symptoms were that he was lethargic and getting more and more lethargic. In fact to cut a long story short he began to stand with his head hanging to the ground. Not sniffing or anything, it was as if his head was too heavy for him. Sue took his temperature and it was 38.8, a touch high. He then collapsed. Sue carried him to the shed and he was limp and lifeless. The vet was called and was on her way.

When Sue got Woody into the shed he seemed to come round and had a feed. The vet arrived and he was checked over thoroughly, his temperature was within the normal range (36.8 - 38.6) he was a little bit crackly in the chest but otherwise he was fine, there was nothing obviously wrong. He appeared to rally round and the vet left telling Sue to call her back if there was any worsening of his condition.

This was when I was roused, tired and grumpy from bed.

Shortly after the vet leaving Woody had collapsed again and was now unconscious. Sue couldn't rouse him and his breathing had become laboured. The vet was on her way back. His temperature was now 39.4 and he was totally unresponsive. I have never seen a cria like this before. From being a healthy, strong cria he was apparently about to leave us, scary, scary moment and I was flapping like a very flappy thing as we waited for the vets arrival.

When she arrived his temperature was just under 40 and he was struggling for breath. He needed drugs and he needed them fast. The theory was that he had some sort of infection and that was causing his high temperature. He needed the drugs to be administered intravenously for quick and maximum effect.

At this point the vet asked if we had any clippers to shave an area on his neck so that she could find a vein. This is the first time in my life that my silly little beard has come in useful. For because of my silly little beard, I have silly little beard clippers. I was sent for them. I hurried back up the hill to the house and ran back down (when I say 'ran' I don't want you to mistakenly conjure up a 'Seb Coe' or 'Ussain Bolt' image, more of a prolonged stumble really) and delivered said clippers which were immediately put to use. 1ml of Baytril (antibiotic) and 0.5ml of Finadyne (anti-inflammatory) were administered. The vet was not optimistic, Woody was flat out, unresponsive and struggling to breath, she said that she thought that we were going to lose him. The mood was pretty sombre.

We left them alone hoping the drugs would have some effect and went back to the house. The vet disappeared off to her next job and Sue and I discussed what had happened and what we could learn from the situation.

After half an hour Sue went down to check on things. I remained at the house, I don't know why, I can't remember, I was pretty tired. I remember what happened next though, with crystal clear clarity. A sexy ladies voice from my mobile piped up 'Commander you have a new message at your private terminal', I know, I know it's silly but I like it. Sue had sent me a text message from the shed at the bottom of the field. I stared at my phone. Initially I didn't want to look at the message. I was pretty sure it was bad news and I didn't want to hear it. After a few seconds I sighed and picked up the phone.

This is what the message said: 'Having a feed!'. I couldn't believe it!

How that little fellow pulled himself back from what was apparently death's door I don't know, well obviously it was the drugs but come on, what a turnaround! Since then he has improved steadily and when I got home from work this afternoon we gave him more Finadyne and Baytril, we also weighed him. He has put on half a kilo since this time yesterday. We are by no means out of the woods yet but we have found the path and we are heading for the wide open spaces!

The world is still getting browner!

2011-06-20T16:47:00.000+01:00

Well at the risk of sounding boring, Columbus has struck again with the emergence of yet another brown cria. He is doing a startlingly good job of providing us with brown cria!

This morning the bagpipes appeared at the back end of Patou Fifi one of our 'untouchables' and mother of Rico. She gave birth to a floppy eared male after 333 days. He weighed in at 7.90 kilos, our smallest cria to date but he was up and running within minutes, a real live wire. In fact for the first couple of hours Fifi was running around after him in the field.

He has been named Patou Scout and he is our fifth brown cria from Columbus this year. We have now had eight cria born in the last four weeks and we have an even split of males and females. We are requesting females from now on in.

The next to go is the one I have been waiting for. Patou Millie, daughter of my most favourite alpaca in the whole wide world and star of our show team last year. She is pregnant to Jack of Spades and she hit the 330 day mark today. Incidentally we have had some early ones this year, our longest gestation so far being 348 days. We have had three at 347, two at 330 and one at 331, 332 and 333 days. They just can't wait to come out and join us!

All Hell's broken loose!

2011-06-19T17:32:00.000+01:00

Well okay, relatively speaking all Hell has broken loose! I know the big breeders have 12 births before morning coffee but we've had three cria in three consecutive days and for us that is the equivalent. Not only that but we have another two who simply must pop in the next day or two. I tell you people we don't know where to look at the moment.

Yesterday's blog announcing the arrival of yet another brown female Columbus cria was posted before breakfast. Perhaps I should have waited as before the day was out another one hit the turf. This time it was the turn of Minnie the Minstrel to give us her Columbus baby. A lovely brown male (well it would be brown wouldn't it?) who was very quickly up on his feet. He had been baking for 331 days and weighed in at a respectable 8.32 kilos. He has been named Patou Sherwood which has immediately been shortened to Woody. Here he is with Minstrel who is a Jack of Spades girl.

Then this morning we were on Penny watch. Sue called the alert first thing stating that Penny was spaced out and didn't seem to know what to do with herself. Well at about coffee time this morning she seemed to figure it out as she gave birth to a very handsome dark brown Jack of Spades male. He had been baking for even less time at 329 days and weighed in at an even more respectable 9.10 kilos. If we could have picked a female to have a boy it would have been Penny, she is one of our top brown females. She is a Witness girl and is a top notch coloured female. We have a feeling that this little fellow may be something special. As a result of our hunch he has been given a suitably splendid name, please allow me to introduce Patou Sultan, here getting a cold nose up the rear end from Bannock.

So it's been pretty busy around here one way or another but one thing is for sure. One little brown girl has certainly captured my heart and is rapidly becoming very popular here. Little Spirit with her floppy ears and masses or curly fleece is simply gorgeous!

Another one!

2011-06-18T08:02:00.000+01:00

First of all may I say thank you for all the comments and e-mails about the land situation. It is heartwarming to know that whatever happens we will all be ok. Thank you.

We missed another birth yesterday and I am a bit cross about it as I didn't check the girls properly. Stand still you fat bugger whilst I hoof you up the arse! Impossible as always, but I will keep on trying, another dressing down and I have learned my lesson.

This was Patou Polly, she has featured in a previous blog as being the next likely to go and she did. In the pouring rain and the howling wind she gave birth to yet another brown female! I anticipate that we arrived on scene within the hour of the birth and the little thing was running around. When I did manage to catch her she made a noise that I have never heard a cria make before, it was a real scream. She's a bit feisty this one I thought.We wanted to get them into the shed for a couple of hours so she could get dry and have complete attention from Polly who is a first time mum. Give her the best possible start in life I reckon and then let them do the rest. Anyway we got them into the shed and then the two of them spent the next ten minutes escaping. Not trying to escape but actually escaping. First the baby dived through the bars of the gate and had it away on her toes, then Polly spotted a gap and leapt for it. They were both gone in a flash and Sue and I were left in the shed farting about with scales and iodine spray and no alpacas!

We reinforced the gate with a stack of bales and rounded them up again, all the time the rain poured. This time we were able to contain them and carried out the necessary as quickly as we could before leaving them to bond.

Please allow me to introduce Patou Spirit, a floppy eared bundle of energy weighing in at 8.22 kilos. She had been baked for 347 days and is a beautiful medium brown female.

Here she is with her mum, Polly. Now at this point I must shout from the rooftops the acheivement of her sire, our own Cambridge Columbus. Good old Clump was given a brief when he started working, "brown females please, as many as you can muster old boy. It will be tough as we will be using some light coloured females but give it your best shot", I remember the conversation well.

So how is the Clumpmeister doing? Well he has 9 cria on the ground, 7 of them being female. Out of those nine, seven of them are also brown and the remainder dark fawn. Now that is a pretty good stab at following the brief! I think it's because he is German. He isn't German of course, I know that, but for some strange reason I think of him as being German. Der Clumpmeister is what I call him and I do find myself using my slightly rusty schoolboy German on him when we are alone together. Angus and I have a very oft repeated phrase here in Patouland, 'Ja, das ist gut ja!' Vell, das ist gut Herr Clumpmeister! (apologies for any linguistic errors to any German speakers).

Other news here is that all the boys have now moved in with Qjori. The Clumpmeister remains on his own as he is not very sociable but the other seven boys are now on Qjori territory. He seems quite bemused by them all. There are five weanlings and two older wethers and Qjori seems to spend rather a lot of the time either ignoring them completely or staring at them with a look that says(in his Australian accent) 'Where the **** have you lot come from?'

Qjori is in the background here with the young boys at the fence talking to Josh. A few seconds later, as Qjori approached, all tails rose in a little silent salute of respect. Nice.

Right enough drivel, must be time for breakfast.

The search begins

2011-06-17T15:24:00.000+01:00

We had a meeting with our Landlords earlier this week. We had asked them for more grazing land and recently sent them a letter outlining our plans for the future and how the herd was going to keep on expanding. The negotiations over the land had halted last week and at this meeting we found out why. Not only could we not have any more land but they would very much like to reclaim the land that we currently occupy. We had already made it clear to them that if the herd could not be accommodated that we would be off. And that is where we are at the moment. We are currently looking for new premises to live, all of us.

It is a strange feeling. We have lived here for the past six years and have loved every minute of it. Those of you who have been here will know what I mean, it really is a fabulous spot. However, we fully understand the position of the land owners. They are getting on and are looking to the future when the farm will be sold. The house we are currently living in will be sold soon, I am sure of that. It is their land and they must be allowed to do whatever the want with it.

So, there are two ways of looking at the immediate future. We could be negative and moan or we could take this as an opportunity to improve our lives. I favour the second option and am excited about the prospects.

The slight fly in the ointment is the difficulty we may have in finding somewhere suitable for us all. A small family, two big dogs, two cats, two chickens and a herd of forty or so alpacas!

I am not despondent though, no way sir. When we found the house we are currently in the landlords were expressly asking for tenants with no pets. Look where we ended up there!

So the search has begun, we have some viewings over the next day or two and we will be casting the net to take advantage of anything new that comes onto the rental market. The timing is not right yet for us to buy our own land, we need to stall for another two and a half years yet and that was always the plan. We will not be moving far though as it is important that Angus has continuity at school and we will be moving, hopefully as one. The entire Patou Tribe.

Watch this space.

A shear surprise

2011-06-14T19:33:00.001+01:00

It has been a big day here in Patouland for at least two reasons. Firstly, the alpacas have been stripped of their fleeces and we can finally see them all again. Secondly we have had a meeting with our landlords and there was a meeting that could have gone better, still more on that palaver at a later date.

So, to shearing. Mike Banks and his team arrived early this morning and blitzed the herd in three hours flat. Thirty-one alpacas and two people (me and Sue) completely stunned at the speed of it all. One minute they were there, fleeced up and the next wham bam thank you maam, sveldtness as far as the eye could see. So fast in fact that we have no photographs of the operation, Sue and I were running around collecting fleece, sweeping up, presenting animals for tying down, rounding up, passing this and that here and there, it was non stop!

The worst thing was that as it was all so fast and we were so busy that we didn't get much of a look at the alpacas as they wandered off, who's who is anyone's guess.

There are one or two who made their presence felt though. Roger Resilient was shorn fairly early on, he was in the first batch. He ran off when released and then returned to the scene of the shearing. He spent the next two hours on the tarpaulin getting in the way! It was quite incredible, every time I turned round there he was sniffing the screamer on the floor or nibbling at some fleece that had just come off or trying to stare out one of the shearers, I just wish I could have taken a picture, the shearing machine wouldn't even stop for a cold drink so I had no chance.

Here is the muppet with a rather indignant Poppy on the left and......................someone on the right, who knows who. I think we may have to start ear-tagging again!

Here is a picture of some more, largely unknown brown alpacas, Bobby is in the middle, Poppy and Roger are there but the rest? Who knows?

However, as I said in the title of this posting there was a surprise, and I still can't quite believe my eyes. For one young male who was a massive big fluffball and who I thought would be a rather leggy, unattractive, gawky boy once the fleece was removed has surprised the pants off me. The alpaca taking my breath away today is none other than huge favourite here, Patou Rafiki. He has been completely transformed into an extremely handsome brown male with Vicuna markings. Who would have thought that!

This is what he looked like before shearing, well this is what his head looked like before shearing.

And this is what he looks like now! He has gone from haystack to stud muffin!

Right enough drivel for one day, here is a picture of someone else who's name simply escapes me at the moment. Is it Reeya? It could be Reeya, I just don't know!

I'm off for a lie down. Yes, it is Reeya I have been reliably informed.

Whopper out whoppered!

2011-06-13T20:07:00.001+01:00

I reported that our last cria, the beautiful Sahara was a whopper at 10.5 kilos. Well she has been well and truly out whoppered today with the arrival of our first boy of the year. Bannock, one of our friendliest, calmest alpacas gave birth this morning, at a very respectable 10.30am, to a big, handsome brown boy weighing in at a massive 12 kilos! Although he is our youngest cria he is also the biggest and I have never seen such a strong cria. He landed on the ground and seemingly bounced straight up and started looking for food. It was quite incredible. I suspect tomorrow I will be preventing him from opening the gate and wandering off down the lane to the pub in search of a nice pint and a Henri Wintermans.

He is big and manly and his name shall reflect that. He is another Columbus cria and is a cracking shade of brown.

Ladies and gentlemen of the alpaca world, (and those who wish they were) please be upstanding for the arrival of Patou Saracen!

Not only is he huge and handsome but he has seemingly inherited his mothers quiet and gentle nature and they were both quite happy for some close attention this afternoon once Angus had come home from school and I had returned from work.

Anyway I must go, we have a busy day tomorrow and much to prepare for.

Tomorrow morning at 7.30am we will be welcoming the shearing team to Patouland. The weather is set fair, the biscuit barrell is full and we have a herd ready to disrobe.

Just before I go though a photograph showing who is next to give birth, for there is no doubt. Poor old Polly has been lounging around for weeks and surely with a little nudge from the shearers she will crack one out in the next day or two! Just look at that hump!

Much more civilised.

2011-06-08T17:28:00.000+01:00

At 5.00am this morning I was once again up and out in the field in my pyjamas checking for any new arrivals. The dogs were annoyingly full of beans as they gleefully accepted their extra walk.

For the second day in the row there was nothing to report back. No galloping was required, just the slow trudge back upstairs as I tried to prepare myself to fall back to sleep the moment my head crashed into the pillow. I don't think Mrs S had stirred at all.

And so I stayed until Sue brought me a cup of coffee at 7.30, she's like that you know. Casually she tossed the binoculars onto the bed next to me. 'Keep an eye on Dilly, she's on her own in the middle of the field sniffing around'. I stood up and drank my coffee with one eye surveilling Dilly who was framed perfectly in the bedroom window. After a minute or two Dilly wandered out of my view heading for the water trough. Another time-waster I thought. A few minutes later I arrived downstairs and casually looked outside to see Dilly wandering around with her tail sticking out. Now that's more like it. Dilly is at 347days so she was ready to go any day.

By 8.30am, after a little assistance she gave birth to a very strong female cria weighing in at a whopping 10.44kgs. Fantastic. Initially I thought it was another brown girl and was a bit presumptious in announcing that fact. However, with the benefit of a drying wind and a warming sun the new arrival has revealed herself to be a delicious smoky dark fawn with very pretty light fawn facial markings.

Dilly is white as you can see from the picture and the father is our boy Cambridge Columbus, The Clump. I think he has done a pretty darn good job of darkening down the cria and that is his sixth female cria out of seven progeny so far!

So ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Patou Sahara, she is, as you can see, quite gorgeous.

More galloping!

2011-06-06T19:42:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning there was more galloping up the stairs. Still no whinneying just the breathless announcement that 'There's a baby!'. This time it was 5 O'clock in the morning not 6. What the hell is going on this year? This time Sue announced that it was Bobby who had done the deed and this time, being an hour earlier than last week I was a little slower into my strides. In fact, I didn't bother with trousers, I was down the stairs and out into the field clad in my pyjamas.

I reached Bobby and could instantly see a small dark alpaca cushed next to her. Black or brown it was impossible to tell. I could also see that it was completely dry. What time had it been born for goodness sake? Sue had checked the herd at 9.15 the previous evening and there was no sign of anything happening.

Anyway she (for it is another girl people, another girl!) seemed healthy, everything was where it should be and she weighed in at a healthy 8.66kg. FANTASTIC!!

Now, a day later, I can introduce to the world, Patou Sabrina, a gorgeous dark brown Jack of Spades girl. She is a full sister to Ruby May, her mother being Bobby, who has never failed to give us a cracking cria and who has now produced four females in a row. Well done Bobster you old spit monster!

As I type this she is tentatively charging (yes, I believe you can charge tentatively, I can't, but baby alpacas can) around the field with Patou Sirrocco (the wind not the car) as dusk approaches.

Earlier, introductions had been made and the two youngsters are very much aware of each other's presence.

At todays weigh in, Coco (the wind not......) revealed a ten day weight gain of 3 kilos and little Sabrina a rather respectable 300 grammes.

They are both absolutely beautiful and exactly what we had wished for so how's about that for a start!

The Royal Bath and West Show

2011-06-04T08:40:00.000+01:00

We returned home last night from three days and two nights at the Royal Bath and West Show. Tired physically and emotionally after having had a great time. Great weather, it hit 28 degrees yesterday afternoon, great company and a truly splendid alpaca show organised by the one and only Di Davies.

It turned out to be the tale of three browns for us as our two blacks, Ruby May and Rico were really not at their best, heavily overfleeced the crimp just dropped out of them and although they still looked good from the outside they sweated up and it was perhaps a show too far for them.

So back to the browns, little Roger Resilient, the beautiful Reeya and of course, the big 'un, Qjori, who was looking magnificent. If you remember from an earlier posting I did say he was just getting better and better.

Right then, here is my report on this years show, or rather our involvement in it. It starts off with Roger on the first day but I must point out that it may all get a bit silly towards the end.

Sue was chief handler this week, she does look sooooo much better in a white coat than I do and really enjoys taking the Mighty Patou show team into the ring. Here she is with the small but perfectly formed Roger Resilient on day one in the junior brown male class. Don't they look fabulous!

It appeared to be a close call from the show's judge Val Fullerlove and Roger picked up a very creditable second place. We were up and running and we were very pleased. We had a rosette to hang on the pen, nice one Roger!

Day two was intermediate day and we had Reeya and Ruby May in the ring. There was a bit of running around as I got the girls ready for Sue and as a result I have no photos of Reeya taking the first place rosette in the Intermediate Brown Female class! However, she was then straight in to the Intermediate female Championship.

This was the first Age Championship Show of the year for us and it is notoriously difficult to get anything darker than a fawn to pick up Champion or Reserve.

Here are Sue and Reeya in the line up for the Championship. Sure enough the Champion and Reserve did indeed go to the white and fawn end of the line up but then something delightful happened. Val placed the ribbons on the two winners and then took the microphone to tell the audience about her choices. Only she didn't. Well not straight away. No, she took the microphone and then invited the audience to look at the beautiful brown female! She asked them if they wanted to know what an intermediate female alpaca should look like to look at the beautiful brown girl standing in the ring! Sue and I were overwhelmed with pride for our little Reeya, she looked superb! Check out Sue's smile!

Day two had ended on a high with Reeya but this show, for me, was all about day three. Day three was adult and seniors day. Day three was time for Qjori to enter the ring. Qjori had been at the showground for the three days and had attracted a lot of interest. But he was the only adult brown male there for days one and two. His rivals didn't arrive until day three. When they arrived I had a sneaky peek at them, they looked impressive. Qjori was up against Inca Cayenne a dark brown male bred by the Mighty Inca stud and now owned by Holycombe Alpacas and EP Cambridge Southwind, Champion brown male at the National Show this year. It was going to be tough for our boy from Burnie, Tasmania. By the time Sue was about to enter the ring I am afraid I was a complete wreck. The nerves had got me, my hands were shaking and I just couldn't sit still. This was the big one, this was what we had been waiting for. IT WAS QJORI TIME!

Sue and Qjori entered the ring and I was finding it difficult to stay upright. Never before have I been so nervous watching one of the Mighty Patou. Angus was sitting next to me and even he knew what was going on. He was nervous too and he's only eight!

The judge took her time but Qjori nailed it! First place adult brown male! I could have leapt the rope and kissed everyone in the ring! And everyone in the audience! I didn't, obviously, that would have been very wrong. WHAT A RESULT!!!

We had achieved what we had dreamed of, Qjori had done it and we were happy to go home then and there. Having won his class though Qjori was straight back in a few minutes later for the Adult Male Championship. Sue and Qjori got to stand in the front row for the championship which was lovely.

Here they are in a pretty impressive line up of adult male alpacas. Angus and I were now relaxed and smiling at all and sundry, Sue was cool as a cucumber in the ring and everything was just plain dandy.

Val Fullerlove again went along the line examining the adult male class winnners. Here she is looking at Qjori. By this time Angus and I were chilling out enjoying the atmosphere, a big crowd had gathered and we were relaxed and enjoying the experience. I had already explained to Angus that in Age Championships the Champion and Reserve were nearly always the white or fawn alpacas because of the advanced fleece quality in the lighter coloured animals. He understood and we started talking about when we would be packing up and heading for home.

EP Cambridge Litigator, the winner of the adult white male class was called forward as the Champion Adult male. Congratulations to Matt and Cathy Lloyd. The second placed white male then moved in to the front rank and our judge deliberated over who would take the Reserve Champion sash.

And then something extraordinary happened.

Val examined the white male, the fawn male and then Qjori. Then, and I tell you what people this altered my posture and got my attention, Val asked Sue to take Qjori acoss to the white male so that she could compare their fleeces! Suddenly my mood had changed from one of relaxation to one of complete high alert. The Inca / Amiryck mob were on the other side of the ring, including Diane Hey who had bred Qjori, I could see that they were all getting excited, everything had changed in a couple of seconds. Then, and this was when the tears started to flow inside the ring and outside the ring, Qjori was sent forward as Reserve Champion Adult Male!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!

Everything after that was a bit of a blur. Qjori had done more than we ever expected. He is a truly wonderful boy and that was a truly magical moment for us. Absolutely magical.

Now if you'll forgive me I am going outside to lean on a fencepost and watch that big brown ball of fluff as he goes about his business of keeping his grass down.

And that folks, is that.

Wet sausages?

2011-05-31T12:35:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we had a barbecue planned. Nothing major, the massed ranks of the Inca and Patou Tribes together for some nosh and a glass or two of vino collapso. Cue rain, cue wind, cue unseasonably (and unreasonably) low temperatures. Still, freezing conditions have never stood in the way of a good barbecue, not if I have anything to do with it. A good time was had and despite the weather I think we all enjoyed it. Check out the layers of clothing involved though!

The sons and heirs to the two Mighty Alpaca herds (you don't have to be big you know) ate sausages and then kicked a ball around in the rain. Marvellous.

Young Oliver Hey downing some sort of drink.

And young Angus Steele polishing off his pudding.

Today preparations are underway for a 6am departure tomorrow as we head off to the Royal Bath and West Show, our nearest show and one of the big ones. We will be travelling with a full show team and are looking forward to it, we always have a good time there, although it's only 45 minutes drive away we will be packing the tent and the barbecue and assorted comfortry (is that a word?).

We have a couple of housesitters booked, Lucinda is a fully qualified vet and her partner Chris has spent several seasons lambing on a sheep farm. I think the lardy ladies (I am forbidden from calling them 'fat slappers') are in good hands!

And finally, for I have much work to do, a couple of pictures of our beautiful little Sirrocco (the wind, not the car). Her name has been shortened to Coco and she is doing very nicely thank you.

Just how gorgeous is she???????!!!!!!

And also in profile!

Right that's it, I will now be running silent until Saturday when I will post about our showtime exploits.
Adios amigos.

The future is indeed brown!

2011-05-27T15:46:00.001+01:00

I have just completed a run of late shifts and now have two weeks away from the day job. In other words the day job is now how it should be, alpaca breeding!

Anyway, yesterday morning at about 6am I was lying in bed in a state of semi-conciousness when I became aware that Sue had arisen and left the bedroom, the chickens were making a racket and the dogs were stirring. After my late night however, I was keen to get back to sleep for another hour. I was drifting off when I heard what I can only describe as Sue galloping back up the stairs. Now I know that Sue is not a horse but 'galloping' is the descriptive word that truly conjures up the urgency in those footfalls. My eyes opened wide, my senses were instantly on full alert, for Sue does not gallop up the stairs unless there is important news to impart. Was it good news or bad news I pondered as my brain urgently sent messages to my still slumbering limbs telling them that very soon there was going to be some physical action one way or the other. Sue reached the top of the stairs with a whinney, alright there was no whinney, but she came into the bedroom and breathlessly declared 'There's a baby!'.

Now at this point people I may point out that there are certain times when I can move like greased lightning. I recall being chased by a ferocious German Shepherd once, I was definitely shifting there. I was pursued by a housemaster at school on more than one occasion for committing some heinous offence or other after lights out, my feet skipping across a scorched earth as I blazed away from his schoolmasterly shouts of 'Stop you horrible child'. I once gave chase and caught a very quick night time burglar, yes, I did. Hard to believe looking at me now, but still, when the time calls for a rapid response, over ever decreasing distances of course, I can muster some pace. This was one such occasion and in something approaching 3 or 4 seconds I had fired out of bed, donned trousers and was on my way downstairs. At the same time questions were asked of Sue as to which entry portal into the world had the baby come from? Poppy? Fantastic! Poppy!

Angus was being roused by Sue as I flew out of the house, collected the birthing case from the shed and roared into the field at maximum thrust.

Indeed it was Poppy and the cria was dry, the placenta was out. Probably about an hour old. The cria was brown, which was a great start and on closer inspection it was a girl! Fantastic! She was in a cush, she had all her bits and she felt strong. We did the necessary and left mother and cria to themsleves. It was a ferociously windy morning but Poppy had her down the hill out of the worst of it.

I returned a while later to witness the little one feeding. Check out those milky lips!

After she had fed she lay down and was properly mobbed by the rest of the herd who all wanted to come over and say hello.

She is the perfect start to our birthing season, she was 'baked' for 330 days and weighed in at 8.5 kilos.

Her mother is Patou Poppy, an ATA Cambridge Centurion girl, and her father is our own Cambridge Columbus, or Clump to his friends.

We have named her Patou Sirocco and she is lovely.

Devon and beyond!

2011-05-23T19:40:00.001+01:00

A thousand apologies for the delay in posting about the Devon County Show. I know you have all been sitting, staring, forlornly and exhaustedly at your computer screens, your little fingers pressing the 'refresh page' button every few seconds or so and each time it has failed to bring up my latest offering it has plunged you further into the deep dark abyss of despair that you sink into between my meagre postings. Well fear not my little fluffy bunnies for I have returned from the miserable day job and have forgone nearly all my chores to sit here tapping away in order to brighten your otherwise unfulfilled days. The time for my report on the show has come. Sadly the photographs are not up to scratch due to me having to fly solo at the show, I did take some but couldn't figure out how to take some of myself in the ring without arranging some sort of remotely controlled camera on a wire. Not only that but I just clean forgot to ask anyone else to take any of me and the Mighty show team.

Yes, I spent three wonderful days at the Devon County Show, a 4am start on Thursday meant I was there nice and early to bag a splendid outside pen in the sunshine to dry off some rather wet dewy alpacas.

The whole show team was to enter the ring on Thursday, coloured alpacas day. We were in business and with well over 200 alpacas entered we were in for a fight for those rosettes.

First up for us was The Mighty, the Gorgeous, the thunderthigh, walnut cracking Patou Ruby May in the black Intermediate female class. Ruby turned 12 months old a couple of weeks ago and as a result moved up an age group. As usual with any black class she was up against two girls from the Incredible Inca Tribe. Inca Blah blah and Inca Doodle doo (their names have been changed for security reasons) narrowly took first and second and Ruby snatched the third place rosette. We were up and running.

Next up was little (but Mighty) Patou Rico, our smallest alpaca, by some margin. He was up against it in the junior black male class and he followed Ruby's lead by snaffling third place. We had two rosettes but we were hungry for more.

Next up was the utterly beautiful Patou Reeya in the junior brown class. I had high hopes as she was looking magnificent. Unfortunately our judge, the emminent Val Fullerlove didn't see it my way and Reeya was unplaced, a dissapointment but I am a firm believer in the saying 'The judge is always right', we didn't cry, sure I was a bit like a stunned mullet for a few seconds but we moved on. I am not a judge and Val is a very good one, and that's that.

All this time the big boy was calmly getting himself ready in the far corner of the Alpaca tent. He was looking good, he was ready to take on the competition. It was soon to be my favourite time in the whole wide world of alpacas IT WAS QJORI TIME!!!!

Whenever I lead that big boy anywhere I get goose bumps, seriously, I actually get goose bumps. Goosebumps and I also get strangely emotional. I simply can not tell you how much I think of the big brown fella. What was absolutely lovely at the show was that Diane Hey was over from Tasmania and she was able to see her boy for the first time in about 18 months. I think she was impressed with him, I hope she was.

Anyway Qjori time was approaching and I was puffing my chest out as he did his little bouncy trot at my side. We went in, he was judged and he was awarded first place in the adult brown male class. Nice. Our judge commented that he was a 'really super male'. That will do it for me! Now just as I am writing this I have received two photographs of the moment from good old Timo! I did have to pester him a bit but they arrived in the nick of time. Thanks mate!

How good does he look! I am biaised of course but it's my blog etc etc........... And now for one with his rosette! This is my impression of someone looking very cool by the way.

So a first place meant that me and the big boy were in the Championship on the Saturday. Yikes!
In the meantime we had a couple of days to talk alpaca with the great british public and relax in the evenings (I'm good at that).
Here are the Mighty Show Team sunbathing outside with a group of people that I wheeled in for the photograph, no seriously I had just had a double expresso and was 'buzzing' a bit (I have told you how caffeine affects me haven't I?) so I grabbed agroup of show visitors and got them to pose at the outside pen. Thank you people whoever you are!

Fabulous setting for an alpaca show by the way, we looked down on the whole showground. Alpacas on top of the world, sounds pretty good to me!

So there we have it, a great show, well organised by Gary and Peter and enjoyed by all and sundry.

What? What's that? What happened in the Championship on Saturday? Oh I almost forgot.

Right, first up I was in with a lovely grey female called Inca Dubonnet in the grey female championship. She nailed it, Champion!

Next up I was in with an absolutely gorgeous Inca Anais in the black female championship, she nailed it too, champion!

Then I took little Amiryck Elmer into the ring for the black male championship, nice little boy but my luck had run out.

Finally it was the brown male championship and that meant it was goosebump time again. It was close. It was very close. It was very, very close. But the Championsip went to Classical Mile End Prometheus and Qjori picked up the Reserve. He beat us at SWAG too, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Right, let me tell you something now. All is not lost, reserve champion is good and we have one more shot at the big one. In eight days time we will be heading off for The Royal Bath and West Show, an absolute behemoth of a show spread over four days. We will be there. I will be there with Qjori and my goosebumps. Qjori still only has 8 months fleece growth on him, he hasn't peaked yet, he is getting better and better. He will do battle once more. We don't give up, ever, we'll be back!

The tension mounts.

2011-05-18T09:20:00.001+01:00

Things are moving forward at a pace here in Patouland. Well, some things are, the alpacas, the large pregnant alpacas, are not moving very much at all. In fact a fairly accurate representation of what they are doing most of the time is pictured below. Bobby, who has given birth at 311, 327 and 330 days is now at 315 days. She is as wide as a house and is 'getting ready'. Although now that I have said that she will probably break all records and give birth in about 6 months time. No, she's fit to burst, she won't be long.

The rest of the big fat lazy mothers to be are doing the same, here are some of them sheltering in the shade of the big Ash tree. They occasionaly stand, stretch, raise their tails, do what comes naturally and then collapse in a heap again. I feel so at home walking amongst them.

However, life goes on and today I will be loading up the trusty Discovery with tent, barbecue, mobile hot tub, inflatable bar, latrine, shower tent and the essential ingredients for a two night stay ready for a 4.30am departure tomorrow morning to the Devon County Show. A first trip to the show for me and I am looking forward to it, although you can keep the 4.30am departure time, not looking forward to that. Must get an early night, up the apples and pears to bedfordshire straight after The Apprentice.

I managed to snap a nice photo of Patou Rico prancing around in the sunshine yesterday, he is coming to Devon and if I can get him in the ring looking like that..... who knows......... although we will have to have a good look around for his left ear before we set off.

News has arrived from the west, the Mighty Amiryck Alpacas had a birth yesterday, a repeat mating between Ronnie and Columbus has produced another beautiful brown girl! Good on Clumpy, he is throwing his colour well, we have nine girls due to him this year and nine brown girls would be good!

The Clumpmeister has been somewhat eclipsed this year with the arrival of the super cool, super looking, Australian boy, Qjori. However, Qjori's cria will not be here until next year, this year is the year of the Clump.

Mind you Qjori will have an army of cria next year, we will be using him over all 22 of the Mighty Patou herd and he had his first away day mating yesterday. He faffed around a bit in strange surroundings but after a little pep talk and a rest he performed his job. He has plenty more 'away days' booked too and will be having a busy summer. That's my boy!

Finally a photograph illustrating how stupidly endearingly stupid dogs can look. Josh and Kira here staring intensely into a patch of nettles. Why? I have no idea. There was nothing there but I guess something must have been there recently. Muppets.

A quick one.

2011-05-14T17:56:00.000+01:00

Just a quick blog today, after trying to blog unsuccessfully yesterday, when I had the time, I felt I ought to whack something on today even though now I am pushed for time. Not only that but I was up all night hiding in a barn and have not had much sleep since, splendid, off to work again shortly for another late one.

Still the massed ranks of the Mighty Patou herd do not require much from me at the moment as they gather themselves for the rapidly approaching 'birthing season'. The girls are all lounging around for most of the time and soon will be readying themselves for the final push. We're getting very excited as usual here as we await to see what the girls, with a big help from the boys involved, will produce for us this year. Jack of Spades and Cambridge Columbus are in the frame this year. We await with eager anticipation!

RIGHT, A QUICK AND FURIOUS RANT! WHY, WHY, WHY, WHEN I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING SOMETHING ON THE LAPTOP DOES IT FEEL THE NEED TO SHUTDOWN SO THAT SOME SO CALLED 'UPDATES' CAN BE INSTALLED! WHAT UPDATES? WHY NOW? I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY BLOODY UPDATES! WITHOUT WARNING THE ARSE OF A COMPUTER JUST DECIDES 'RIGHT THAT'S YOUR LOT FOR THE TIME BEING I AM GOING TO SHUT DOWN AND INSTALL SOME UPDATES' WHAT ARE THEY? CAN ANYONE TELL ME?

I TELL YOU WHAT, IT TOOK ALL THE WILL POWER I COULD MUSTER TO STOP MYSELF FROM GIVING THE BLOODY LAPTOP AN UPDATE OF MY OWN, AN UPDATE INVOLVING EITHER A HAMMER, A WINDOW A STONE WALL OR A DUSTBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had no warning (sorry, enough shouting) and I have no idea what these updates are. Not a clue. If anybody can throw any light on the subject I would be interested to know.

Right moving on. Next week I will betaking a small (but perfectly formed show team to the Devon County Show). Sue and Angus are staying at home so I will be throwing the tent and the barbecue in the back of the Discovery, along with enough provisions for me and the team for three days and off we go. Heading up the Team will be the team leader, Qjori who is just getting better and better as his fleece grows. He looks great.

He has now covered 5 females in the Patou herd and all five are spitting off nicely. The boy seems to be hitting the spot! All but one with just one mating.

Lastly a picture that I have been trying to squeeze in for a while of the egg production unit here in Patouland.

Patou Lulu (well why not), Patou Doodle and Patou Dottie, on the front doorstep demanding their evening treat of mixed corn.

Yep, life is looking pretty good here.

Bums backsides and bottoms.

2011-05-05T12:09:00.000+01:00

Mrs Steele was doing something called 'hoovering' this morning which meant there were two reasons why I had to leave the house. Firstly, I was in the way of this 'hoovering' and was therefore told to vacate and secondly, by crikey it makes a racket!

So off I trotted into the alpaca field (I didn't actually trot, more of a prolonged stumble) with my camera for some close up and personal stuff with my girls. Or so I thought. I went down to the main shed to get a camping chair and then positioned myself in the field so that they could all come over and say hello whilst I took wonderful head shots for todays blog. I had an idea you see about my ideal head type on an alpaca and I was going to post various pictures of alpaca heads and my thoughts on them. Mike Safley said that head type was very important in an alpaca and I agree with him (well why wouldn't you?) It is something we try to get right here in the magical kingdom of Patou. Get the head right and other good things tend to follow.

So there I was, sitting in my chair, the sun was shining and everything was just perfect. Well almost everything. I managed a couple of 'head shots' from various angles and then realised that I would have a far higher success rate if I were to be photographing alpaca bottoms as that is what I was mostly presented with.

Now that got me thinking about something a visitor to the farm said a few weeks ago. She was amazed at how I could recognise each individual animal by looking at it's face (she wasn't an animal owner) which I suspect we can all do. We only have 30 odd alpacas so it is very easy for us. Anyway looking at all these bottoms I realised that I can not only recognise them from the front end but I could also recognise them from the rear end. I suspect that I am not the only one. And as they are looking at their fluffy best at this time of the year I thought I would share some rear-end views of the Mighty Patou. Well why not? Head types will have to wait for the time being. I don't propose to name them all on here (I could!) but here are some of my favourite fluffy bottoms!

A heavily pregnant and therefore very wide Patou Poppy.

Ruby May, Roger Resilient, Edwina, Bobby and Runa.

Fluffy bottoms on the move, was it something I said?

Runa, a beautiful pair of black bloomers!

A collection of colourful bottoms.

Some youngsters on the move, Edwina, Runa, Rosa, Ruby and Minstrel.

With bums like that you just know the heads are going to be right!

Of course there was one alpaca in the herd who was on my wavelength from the start. One girl who was just too close to see her derriere. She just couldn't resist the urge to come over and say hello!

Who was it? Patou Lily, my favourite.

An interesting weekend!

2011-05-02T11:48:00.000+01:00

This weekend The Mighty Patou have done something that we have never done before. No, no, we haven't been racing camels around Regents Park or doing dolphin impressions in the local fish and chip shop, neither have we been running naked through the streets of Nairobi nor attending a Royal wedding. No, it was something to do with alpacas ....... and it wasn't rude.

We have been to an alpaca auction. Not only that but we went with a very small budget, and when I say small I mean small. Actually we weren't expecting to bring any alpacas home, we had gone to experience an alpaca auction, nothing more. But the story doesn't end there people, as it would be a very dull story. No, although we had very little money and no expectations of buying we did end up with two female alpacas. How did that happen?

Firstly, it would be impolite not to mention that the Alpaca auction was the dispersal of the Collabear herd. Now I dont know David and Elaine very well, we have spoken briefly at various alpaca shows over the years, nothing more than that, but I think I know good people when I see them and I know that they are good people who have taken extremely good care of their alpacas over the years. You see people handling their alpacas and you just know. I also know that they are the very proud owners of Collabear Albert, who has one of the best coloured fleeces I have ever seen. I know that because a few years ago after he had won somewhere (I can't remember where) I went over and had a look at his fleece. So I knew that they were keen coloured alpaca breeders. I also knew that we would not be buying Albert for two reasons, firstly we had no hardly any money and secondly we have our own brown boy, who we happen to think is rather special.

So why did we go? Well we were invited to go by friends Ivan and Gill from Old Stour Alpacas. In fact we all went up the day before and stayed in a rather decent pub nearby. Good nosh and wine was consumed. We all scrutinised the auction catalogue and marked the alpacas we would love to have, the ones we would like to have and the ones that we would be happy to take home at the right price. The tension mounted. The following day over 50 alpaca breeders turned up. There would be competition. Bugger.

To cut a log story short we came away with ten alpacas between us. I have to say that Ivan was a joy to watch as he bid for and won several nice alpacas. I did bid, successfully, through Ivan, for a brown female and a brown female with a nice fawn cria at foot (we get the mum, Ivan and Gill get the cria, it was spur of the moment deal type thing). You really have to think and make decisions quickly at an auction I can tell you!

Here is a picture of the collection of alpacas in quarantine back at Old Stour Alpacas. A nice looking bunch I think you will agree.

Now, to the two brown females that will be joining the Mighty Patou. Firstly there is Collabear Victoria. She is on the right in the below picture. As you can see she is medium brown but with a white 'scarf' and a white leg. 'Are the Mighty Patou (you know it's great writing your own blog because you can write words like Mighty as many times as you like!) going in for multi-coloured alpacas?'. Well, no, we are not, for Victoria is quite an interesting female in that she is the mother of Collabear Albert. She has always thrown solid coloured cria and at the price we got her for I thought she was an absolute bargain. In fact I thought that it was a pretty shrewd move. Doesn't happen often, me making shrewd moves, you need to be quick to see them. We will have to wait and see what she can produce for us next year. She was mated just prior to the auction so we will have to see if she has held that. Otherwise we have just the male for her.

The other brown girl is called Joy and has a lovely little Albert cria at foot with a very dense crimpy fleece. Joy, weirdly, also has a white leg (no, I stress again that we are not trying to breed multi's!). Joy also produces solid coloured cria. I saw these two in the ring and saw the price they were going for and just felt a strong urge to bid for them, a nudge to Ivan and he was off, his arm up and down like a piston, a short time later they were ours, job done. Joy is empty which suits us perfectly.

When Ivan had finished and the number of bought alpacas had grown to ten he was literally forced to leave the hall by Gill. Then we had the problem of how to get them home. Ten alpacas in the trailer was a bit of a squeeze especially with a cria, there was a real danger that she would get squashed. However, with a bit of quick thinking and some improvisation they were all skipping around on some wonderfully lush pasture at Old Stour Alpacas just over an hour later.

David and Elaine, if you read this drivel, please be assured that these girls will have a lovely life and will be very well cared for. It must have been a very difficult day for you both. You have our admiration for the way you handled your selves.

No such thing as a free lunch!

2011-04-26T11:39:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we drove about as far as it is reasonably to be expected to drive for a free lunch. We drove from Wiltshire (home of the Mighty Patou) through Dorset, Somerset and then Devon to finally cross the Tamar Bridge into Cornwall. Can there be a more dramatic entrance to a county in the UK? I doubt it. The sun shone on the Tamar estuary and Isambard Kingdom Brunel's bridge looked magnificent.

I have been to Cornwall before but took the northerly route in to Bodmin Moor last time. I think there should only be one way in and out and that is across the Tamar Bridge. You have a real sense of arrival when you see that bridge. It is like entering another country, which I suppose is what a lot of Cornish people may dream of, the Kingdom of Cornwall? Maybe, but from my point of view it was and is a splendid way in to Cornwall. The £1.50 exit fee is a bit cheeky though!

Anyway enough waffle, 'why were you going to Cornwall for lunch?' I hear your mutter disinterestedly.

Well, we had very kindly been invited to Popham Alpacas near Saltash for a barbecue lunch.

I think we sneaked onto the guest list as a result of our resounding thrashing of the Popham herd in the junior brown male class at the SWAG Spring Show. Regular readers may remember that last year a challenge was issued by Gary to The Mighty Patou to find a contender to compete in the aforementioned class. We declared our challenger early, The Mighty Roger Resilient was paraded and we positively oozed confidence from the start. The mental games had started. Gary had three early contenders, all who sadly fell by the wayside as the year progressed. Samburu turned grey, Commander turned fawn and Dino who has a truly super fleece was let down in the teeth department. Still, C'est la vie, we'll take the win even if all Roger had to do was turn up. Actually as previously reported Roger took second place in a competitive class of around a dozen brown boys.

It was a marvellous lunch (superb boerwurst), fantastic location (what a fabulous set up, very envious!) and great company. Thank you Gary and Felicia. I'll leave you to report further.

I took the camera out with me this morning when I walked the dogs around the alpaca field. There was much lounging around in the early morning sun. Priscilla and her weaner Rosa posed nicely for me.

Actually I then realised that they were not posing but watching the dogs as they sniffed around for the right dollop of poop to munch on. They really are disgusting. Some of you may think that it is not a very good picture because you can only see the back ends of the dogs. Well you would be wrong. The photograph has been deliberately taken so as not to offend, both dogs have hideously disfigured heads.

And finally, a photograph for the benefit of Ivan and Gill of Old Stour Alpacas (not that they ever read this!) and someone in Kent who may be interested!

Here is the utterly gorgeous Edwina, (owned by Ivan and Gill) who has been billeted with the Mighty Patou show team this year. Edwina, sired by Eringa Park The Commandante took first place in the junior fawn female class at the SWAG show and Reserve Champion fawn female and will be travelling with The Mighty Show team to the Bath and West Show in June. Doesn't she look lovely? Not brown enough, obviously, but pretty nonetheless.

Right enough of this I have a helicopter to catch.

The Orgle has landed!

2011-04-22T11:03:00.002+01:00

What another glorious day here, it was up to 26 degrees yesterday and was certainly not a day for trousers. Today is a Bank Holiday and as such I am at home and the trousers are off! Hurrah! I am working tomorrow and Sunday but then have next week off, Double hurrah!!

We were up reasonably early this morning so that we could get all the alpaca chores out of the way before it got too hot, some of those big mothers out there are getting a little bit hot and bothered.

One of the chores was Qjori's third mating. He had a date with Priscilla who had been left empty over winter. Priscilla would be a real confidence boost for Qjori as she is prone to 'hit the deck with a resounding thud' at the merest hint of an entire male in the area.

This morning she didn't disappoint. I ran her into Qjori's pen and he took one look at her. She immediately turned so that her 'docking station' (sorry Angus has been forcing us to watch the Star Wars movies recently) was in his face and then her legs promptly disappeared from under her. Down she went. As Priscilla is the mother of the 'hair-trigger spit monster' family she went down with just one beligerent flourish, a mouthful of spit heading my way as she was in mid air. Nice. It does make you wonder though? What on earth was going through her mind at the time? Was there anything going through her mind at the time? Anyway I digress.

As you may have read from previous blog entries Qjori has so far been 'silent running'. In other words we have only heard the distant murmurings of an orgle. The merest hint of a childish, burbly, breathless, dribbling orgle. As if someone in the next room has a small baby orgle nesting in straw in a tupperware box and keeps opening the lid to have a look at it (what?). It is almost as if he has been a bit embarrassed. It seems as if he thought it was a bit wrong, somehow he was doing something that he shouldn't be doing. Like he thought it was all a bit, I don't know, dirty, shameful, as if he was giving in to instincts over which he had no control, which I suppose is what it really is. I felt for him, I felt that I was intruding on some sort of teenage naughtiness, bless him.

However, today it seems all ideas of bashfulness have been despatched elsewhere, all thoughts of wrongdoing have been banished forever, for today good people, the orgle arrived! And once it had arrived it just grew and grew and grew. A beautiful melodious orgle had arrived. I actually made two people listen to it down the phone it was that good. He is a wonderful orgler!

Whilst Priscilla was 'docked', (and she was for 25 minutes, not bad for a third go?) a small but orderly and slightly worrying queue formed next to the mating pen. Two females who should be very pregnant had arrived and stood nearby. I waited for them to drop but they didn't. Good. Just to make sure I ran them in to Qjori when he was free to see how they behaved. Minstrel went beserk, trying to jump out of the pen, no problem there then, straight out with her and Connie entered turning the air green as she did so. Splendid, straight out with her too. Interested bystanders only. Had me worried for a second there.

Right enough of that I must crack on with the rest of the chores so that I can earn myself a nice spot of luncheon.

Silent running

2011-04-18T13:47:00.001+01:00

Somehow I have been away from the day job for two weeks. It started off with days off, followed by a severe case of Manflu. I don't use that term (manflu) lightly here, it was touch and go at one point, seriously, lesser men (and women) wouldn't have pulled through. It was knife edge stuff. Anyway after that followed a few days leave, then that s**t of a thing gout hit me again. That dovetailed nicely into days off again and here we are, two weeks since I have had to grace the doorway of the 'day job. Nice.

All that changes tomorrow of course as I am back to work. Having just looked at the calendar though it seems not for long, we have a cluster of Bank Holidays coming up and then I am into days off again. How cool is that. Might as well not bother really, would they notice?

Anyway yesterday Sue and I designed and built a new alpaca handling area using alpaca hurdles. We recently bought a dozen more as they are always handy. It was designed specifically with spitting off and mating in mind. We are getting to the business end of the year where we have to start thinking about next years cria drop. Qjori will be in pole position for most of the next few months. He carried out his first mating 12 days ago. He didn't have the easiest start. The lovely Dee, who is fourteen years old had been left empty over the winter for this very occasion. She is never the quickest alpaca to go to the floor and almost looks like she is spitting off. In fact for an alpaca who rarely spits she was literally spitting at poor old Qjori. There then followed what I can only describe as a 'joint mating. Together we muscled poor old Dee to the floor and Qjori quickly assumed the position. Once everything was underway Dee seemed to enjoy the experience and put up with Qjori chewing her ears and generally behaving like an over enthusiastic teeneager.

The result is that Dee genuinely did 'spit off' this morning! Excellent news, could have hit the spot first time!

Anyway using the new handling area everyone else was run past Qjori to check for pregnancy. Everyone who should have spat, did indeed spit and so as not to put Qjori off we had saved a little beauty for him at the end. My most favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, Lily, had also been kept open this winter. Again for this very occasion. Lily was a little easier for Qjori to get to the floor and eventually after the big lad fiddled and faffed around he was able to get in the right position. With a little help from yours truly I was able to confirm that the right thing was in the right place and away he went again.

Now I'm not sure if Qjori is unusual or if this is normal for young males just starting out but he was virtually silent throughout. There was a bit of huffing and puffing but just the merest hint of an orgle, sort of like a large bumble bee thinking about getting into a jamjar but not quite risking it. It was quite surreal. He did make up for the lack of noise with quite a lot of drooling and ear chewing though. I'm sure the orgle will be with us soon. One thing is for sure, he's keen!

Moving on now.

2011-04-15T13:32:00.000+01:00

First of all may I say thank you for all the lovely comments on my last blog post. I have been very excited all week and have just about calmed down, finally.

I would also like to apologise for perhaps not paying enough attention to what other people were doing at the SWAG Show. In case you are interested, here's why. I was totally consumed with what I was doing. Including the three championships I was in the ring 10 times last Saturday and that was whilst I was in ever increasing pain from gout in my big toe. Now it may interest you to know that I always get gout in the big toe of my left foot, my good foot. My right foot, ankle and shin have been operated on many times following a sporting injury many years ago that I now have arthritis in my foot and ankle. In other words my right foot is my 'bad' foot and I sometimes limp as a result of it. As I had gout in the 'good' foot I was standing on my 'bad' foot a lot. Consequently by the end of Saturday I hobbled out of the show ring for the last time, limped (which foot to limp on?) to the car and that was the end of me. Home, drugs, foot up, rest. Sadly no hope of making it back for the second day of the show. I understand it all went very well.

So I had that on my mind and the fact that it was a big weekend because it was Qjori's first UK show outing. Now I know I have said this already but it was important that he did well. I know he has tremendous qualities, my faith in him has never waivered. Others have said he looks great and has a fabulous fleece but I needed a judge to see him and say it in competition. We have committed to using Qjori over all our best females this summer, all of them, that is how highly we rate him. So the tension I was feeling when we were in the ring together was amazing. I really could have peed myself quite easily. I didn't obviously, what do you think I am? So the relief when Kathy Lloyd said all those wondeful things about him was overwhelming (hence the 'big fairy cake' tears). She actually said, and I didn't put this in the last post, that 'putting your hands into his fleece was like putting your hands into butter'. Bless you Kathy, very kind words. Right, that is my final word on the occasion, honestly, no more. Finito.

So moving on, we are starting to look forward to this summers birthing. And as a result we move onto the forgotten boy of the Mighty Patou herd, The Clumpmeister himself, Cambridge Columbus. Columbus was a busy boy last year and we have nine females due to give birth to little Clumps over this summer. It is his time to shine. He has been used over blacks, browns, fawns and whites so the results could be quite interesting. He only had four cria last year who were all either brown or dark fawn so fingers crossed there will be a wave of brownness at The Mighty Patou this year. We have also got three of our top girls pregnant to the awesome Jack of Spades, so this year is looking good here in Patouland.

Anyway as The Clumpmeister was feeling a bit left out I took some photographs of him yesterday. He is a bit of a poser as you can see.

What a day!

2011-04-10T11:18:00.001+01:00

Yesterday we attended the first day of the South West Alpaca Group Spring Show, a high quality show with 300 or so alpacas entered. The first day was the coloured alpacas day. The Show Team was ready after much thought in preparation.

We had decided to travel up on the morning of the show. It meant getting up at 4am but we wanted the alpacas going into the ring in tip top condition and this seemed the way to do it. They were a little damp on arrival but soon dried off in the warm spring sunshine in the outdoor pen we made next to the Mighty Incas.

They looked good. First up would be Ruby May in the junior black female. I was excited, so excited I could hardly contain myself. Ruby looked fantastic. It was a big class and I was in good company, sandwiched between the glamour girls of Inca, Karen and Tara, with Euphoria and Enigma respectively. Three Jack of Spades girls the first three into the ring.

The anticipation of the competition as Tara and Enigma set off first.

In a quiet moment I share a few words of inspiration with Ruby May. How good does she look!

So, the first three in, became.....THE FIRST THREE! Second place to Ruby behind Euphoria with Enigma in third! WHAT A START!!

Next in was little Patou Rico, again a big class, stiff competition.

We took a moment to pose for the camera as the Show Judge, Kathy Lloyd examined a fellow combatant. No picture of the awarding but little Rico picked up a fourth place!

Next in was Reeya, junior brown female. Reeya is beautiful. I think she is the best we have ever produced and despite her fifth place at The Futurity I believe she is better than that, she is a star.

Again a big class and Reeya was awarded second place. Once again splitting the two Inca girls, Inca Elise and Inca Encore. Fourth place for Amiryck Evening Primrose who was expertly handled by Isla May!

For the Patou, Inca, Amirick triumvirate it was turning out to be a pretty good day!

Roger Resilient was up next, sadly, as I was in the ring practically all day, Sue was running around getting the alpacas lined up for me and couldn't photograph Roger as he competed in his big class. Regular readers may remember that this was to be the big Patou v Popham clash, the battle of the brown boys. Unfortunately Gary's boys have fallen by the wayside, his final contender being bumped to fawn at The Futurity. Graciously Gary conceded defeat and Roger was able to focus. I have to say he looked as good as he ever has as he went in, and bugger me he snaffled second place! I have to say I can't remember who came first, I can't even remember who else was in the ring. My mind was on other things. My mind was on the big one. I could see Sue waiting in the holding area with the big boy. Van Diemen Qjori of Patou was about to make his first entry into a UK show ring. It was the moment that I have been waiting for. I could feel the emotion building, I am welling up writing this, how ridiculous is that?

IT WAS QJORI TIME.

Here he is, the moment in my memory is all a bit of a blur.

Kathy having a good look at Qjori, who's name caused a bit of a problem with the ring commentator!

Qjori was awarded first place and in this picture you can see a large brown alpaca next to a large bald man quietly blubbing away as tears of joy hit the show ring floor. Just prior to that shot I had looked up and seen Angus leaping about with joy in the stands. It was the one that really mattered. It was the big one. We all knew it. I couldn't help myself.

Next was the Championship. I had already been in for the black female Championship with Ruby, the brown female Championship with Reeya and now I was in the brown male Championship with not only Qjori but also Roger Resilient. Luckily I had already anticipated the problem and Gary from Popham kindly agreed to take little Roger in. How ironic? Thanks Gary.

Roger with Gary far left and me and Qjori far right as Kathy judges the brown championship.

Again I'm afraid it is all a bit of a blur as Qjori was awarded the Reserve Champion Ribbon. The winner was a an intermediate male, Classical Mileend Prometheus, who I have to say looked very nice. A bit more fleece on Qjori and who knows? It was bloody close though and some of the things that the judge (did I mention that Kathy Lloyd is my new favourite judge in the wholewide world?) said about Qjori really were absolutely fantastic. She actually told the audience that they should all experience the feel of Qjori's fleece, the handle, she said, was stunning.

On exiting the ring something happened that has never happened to me before. Qjori and I were surrounded by people wanting to have a look at him, people wanting to touch him, it was extraordinary. A fantastic feeling that I would very much like to experience again!

It is 17 months since Sue, Angus and me saw a young Qjori in a field in Tasmania. We saw in him something special and simply had to have him as part of the Patou herd. Earlier this week he carried out his first mating. Yesterday he repaid our faith in him. He will be competing at The Bath and West and The Devon County and if I'm honest I can't wait.

So to sum up, a great show for us, 5 animals entered - 1 x Reserve Champion, 1 x First, 3 x Seconds and a fourth. It is a splendid venue and splendidly organised by Lyndsey Skinner. We will sadly miss the second day as I am laid low with a gout attack.

I also had the privilege of taking Old Stour Edwina's Journey into the ring. She is a gorgeous little fawn girl who has been living and training with the Mighty Patou Show team this year.

In a very large class she took first place and then went on to take the Reserve Champion ribbon. Congratulations to her owners Ivan and Gill who were very very happy with their first big win and also to Sara and Morris at Appledene Alpacas, who are the owners of her sire Commandante and I know are equally happy with the result!

And finally.... congratulations to Dave and Joy from Apple Vale on their new purchase!

2010 cria update

2011-04-07T07:14:00.001+01:00

Sue and I had a few little husbandry tasks to carry out yesterday and somehow, for some reason, all eleven of last years cria seperated from the adults and wandered into the little paddock which is right in front of the house. All the adults stayed out in the main field apart from Lily, who being the most wonderful alpaca in the world was probably just making sure they were alright. Anyway, so as not to spoil a photo opportunity I asked her to leave and we closed the gate. I thought you might like to see how 'our mob' are getting on.

What a lovely row of fluffy bottoms! From the left, Rory, Edwina, Flora, Fernando and Runa.

The others, sensing there was something interesting over that wall, went for a look.

There was nothing there except some fat bloke with a camera!

Ok, testing me as some are only presenting distant buttocks, but from left to right - Runa, Fernando, Edwina, Rory, Roger Resilient, Ruby-May, Flora, Reeya, Rosa, Rafiki and Rico.

After all that they had some hay. Runa, Rafiki, Edwina, Ruby-May and Rosa.

Right, now get back to your work you lot, you don't get paid to look at pictures of alpacas!

Emerging from the murk.

2011-04-05T07:48:00.003+01:00

Good morning everyone! I am feeling pretty damn chipper this morning it is almost as if I have been reborn!

Patou Rico, a lovely friendly little fellow.

If I can explain: I have been in the tight, pale green, all-encompassing grip of the dreaded manflu for the past few days. My last posting four days ago shows that I was not well. I have just read it again, it is dull and uninteresting, the only blog posting I have ever posted not to receive a comment, hopefully not my usual fare but you see I was not myself people, I was possessed by the God of cold sweats and jelly legs. For the last three days I have been as weak as a newborn cria, I have been absolutely pathetic. The tiny little mewing noises have been interspersed with the hugely loud and wet sneezes, every movement has brought on a little groan and a sigh as I have grumpily carried out the bare minimum of chores and tasks. Much crap television has been watched. Soup, and spoon food generally has been consumed, we are now major shareholders in Lemsip Maximum Strength. Every lap of the fields to check on the alpacas has felt like a marathon. At one point I felt like lying down in the field and giving up, letting the persistent evilness that is the Lord of Manflu take me away to his green and unpleasant land. But I didn't.......................ok enough of this drivel. I have had manflu, I was a pathetic sight but I am now out the other side. I am still full of snot, had a marvellous wife waking coughing fit at 4.30 this morning, but the weakness has seemingly gone. I am feeling better! Time to think ahead!

Patou Rafiki, eyes newly trimmed, can see again!

As I write this the rain is coming down, well across a long way first but eventually down as the stiff winds hurl it across the fields. The alpacas are fine, they are very well fleeced and the rain will do them good. It is not cold and they need a wash to get the dust and sweat out of them. This weekend we are off to the SWAG Show near Bristol. Surely too far away for those show-offs from up north to travel!
The SWAG show is normally a very high quality show, the South West houses the largest proportion of alpacas in the land and I expect there will be 300 plus alpaca competing. I am looking forward to it. I have though, learned my lesson about pre-show boasting. Although two rosettes were bagged at the Futurity, I had perhaps set my sights a little high. Still, the Mighty Patou Show Team has been asked to rediscover it's crimp and go once more in to battle. This time the massed ranks of combatants will be bolstered by a big boy. Not another junior, nor an intermediate, no, this weekend will be the first outing at a UK show for Qjori. He has only got 6 and a half months fleece on him but he grows it quickly and he does, well I may have mentioned it before, look pretty magnificent to me! Ruby, Roger Resilient, Rico and Reeya will also be going. It will be nice to meet up with people again and will be nice to cast an eye over some pretty good alpacas. It will be a 4am start on Saturday morning and we are going as a family, even Angus who varies between extreme alpaca boredom and mild disinterest has asked to come (pound to a pinch of doodah he'll be fed up by lunchtime). It should be fun.

(Early readers of this blog may have noticed the lack of pictures and the proliferation of spelling mistakes. I pressed the wrong button and it published when I hadn't finished. Then AOL crashed. Then I had to do the school run. Then AOL crashed again. I can't tell you how close I was to doing something very silly with the laptop!)

One small drive for man, one giant leap for alpacakind.

2011-04-01T13:10:00.000+01:00

Today was the day that Sue and I decided that we would move some of the Mighty Patou herd into the new field. It's not very far away but requires a short trip in the trailer of about 200 yards. We discussed it and decided it would be good to move all the rather 'portly' mothers who are almost off the top end of the conditoning scale. We could then feed up the ones who need a bit of a boost in the 'home' field.

The 'portly' mothers group included the entire 'Hair-trigger spit monster' clan. Priscilla, Bobby, Poppy and Penny, listed in ascending order or unpleaseantness. Ruby-May who would be the latest in the line seems to have broken the mould and is lovely.

Loading up that lot was not as simple as it could have been. There was much barging, spitting and general alpaca 'shouting'. I may have had a minor tantrum at one point. Not something I am proud of.

Anyway here they are after their short trip up the road. They were soon off exploring their new temporary home.

Then they caught sight of where they had come from and could see the adoring crowds on the other side of the fence!

There was much general staring and a small amount of humming.

After a while the 'portly' group wandered off to graze.

Two fences, a twenty foot drop and a bridleway seperate the mighty herd. Not quite sure how I feel about the move but we have outgrown the field and expansion must continue!

Now the day job beckons. Arse to that.

Ooh what a swizz!!!!

2011-03-28T18:35:00.001+01:00

Nah, you guessed it, I was pulling your leg, nothing exciting happening here. Nothing to see. Move along now.

Sometimes I get very restless. Sometimes, and you may have noticed, I find it very hard to confine myself to the realms of normality. You see, I am odd, sometimes very odd. I know that I am odd because people close to me tell me that I am odd. I am aware of my oddness and I recognise it in others. 'It takes a weirdo to spot a weirdo' is a quote that may have been used before, it may not have been, but I think there is some truth in it. However, back to oddness. In fact strictly speaking we are all odd, because we are all different ('I'm not' came the cry from the back) and as we are all different, we are all 'odd'. I suppose it is just the differing amounts of 'oddness' that sets some apart from others as being, well, odd.

But not only do I acknowledge that I am odd, I enjoy being odd. The one thing I hope I never do is turn into a sheep. I'm not talking about a literal metamorphasis, no I mean 'sheep' as in a follower. No offence meant to sheep or sheep owners or indeed shepherds but sheep are reknowned for following each other about without questioning why. In fact the only time sheep don't follow each other about is if they have their heads stuck in a fence, which they frequently do or if they're dead and they do that pretty frequently too believe me, I live on a sheep farm and I smell the 'knacker wagon' every time it trundles past. I know, they're sheep, they don't question anything but sometimes I see that sheep mentality too much in people. I know to a certain extent we follow each other in a conventional sense. We all wear clothes and go to work and have weekends off, well some people do. We all eat at conventional times, sleep at roughly the same time and well, just do things in general harmony. Apart from criminals and people who are generally anti-social that is, but I'll stop this train of thought straight away or this will turn into a right old sweary rant.
Anyway some people follow each other to a 'sheeplike' extent which is behaviour I find hard to understand. I can't stand it, it makes me want to shout and scream and jump up and down...............but only if no-one else is doing that.

One thing that really annoys me is 'theme weeks'. Not long ago it was 'National sausage week'. Well who the hell decided that it should be national sausage week? No one asked me if I wanted a national sausage week. No one asked if I minded. But someone somewhere decided that the 'sheep' needed to eat some more bangers and generally celebrate everything and anything 'sausage'. Well, and I know I am not alone, not alone by a long way, I didn't. My sausage consumption remained the same. In fact I probably ate less sausages as a result of national bloody sausage week just to prove my point. The forthcoming Royal Wedding is another case in point. Many, many people are organising street parties. Why? Is it really that important? No offence to Prince William and his bride to be but, really, a street party? Or is this just an excuse to try and meet the neighbours that they have never spoken to?

I don't wish to poo poo things such as street parties, by all means go ahead and have one. I hope the sun shines and you get out of it whatever you want, I hope you have a smashing time in fact. I will not be going to a street party. I don't live in a street for starters, but I won't be attending a farm party either. Miserable git I hear you suggest? No, just odd. It's that simple.

In the meantime here is a picture of a rather splendid looking alpaca and by virtue of his general splendidness, he's odd too.

Suspenders!

2011-03-25T14:51:00.000Z

Our first herd sire Cambridge Columbus, with plenty of cria due this summer!

Ok, today is the first day of a four day respite from the day job. The sun is shining, the mud is all dried up and all the animals are in fine fettle. As a result I am pronking around like a very large, heavy and bald cria, full of the joys of spring. I am like a Labrador, ready and alert waiting for that stinky old tennis ball to be thrown for me. I am ready to chase, ladies and gentlemen (not to actually chase ladies and gentlemen. That's not what I meant). The sun is shining and I have probably had too much coffee again. I am like a small boy on Christmas Eve. I just can't calm down. Although Sue is politely laughing at my antics and inanity I feel that soon, for sure, she will break and crack my head in with a rolling pin or something (she is making cakes I believe, actually she's lost her rolling pin so I'm reasonably safe. How do you lose a rolling pin?).

This will only be a short blog for I am off to pick up Angus from school shortly and then it's off to take him for his junior lifesaving course. So a short blog it will be.

However, I have many things that I want to tell you. But I just can't. There are many exciting things afoot here at the moment but until certain things have been finalised, until people have given me certain permissions I must remain shtumm. I just can't tell you any more at the moment there are certain factors that have to be factored in, various minute details to tie up and plenty of suspense to sit through. I just can't say anything, my lips are sealed.... until..............Oh I don't know when. You'll just have to wait and see, maybe tomorrow! Yes maybe tomorrow! Maybe not.

Maybe I'm just making it all up?

The secret within.

2011-03-22T13:14:00.000Z

There is one thing that can never be denied about the Mighty Patou herd. It is a herd of colour. Colour is our bag. We are coloured. Mainly brown, for it is brown that we love, brown that we desire, brown that we endlessly strive for, brown is indeed our own personal Nirvana. No not the rock band, but Nirvana in the Buddhist sense of the word; 'perfect peace of the state of mind that is free from craving, anger, and other afflicting states', I think in other words, to achieve 'Nirvana' means you're pretty chuffed with yourself. So when we have a herd of absolutely top notch brown alpacas to rival any in the world we will have achieved Nirvana and immense chuffedness.

We do also have a very nice line in black alpacas and the inevitable bunch of lovely fawns when we don't quite get enough brownness or blackness in the mix, but mainly we are a brown herd. In fact I am quite proud of the fact that we have never bred an alpaca that has turned out lighter than dark fawn. You could almost say that we are a herd that is closed to white or light fawn alpacas. That is, my friends, until quite recently.

You see dear reader, now lurking within the Mighty Patou herd, in fact white alpacas don't lurk in a dark herd they positively shine out like beacons, so to rephrase, now sticking out like sore thumbs in the Mighty Patou herd are some white alpacas. Not just white alpacas but white female alpacas.

This is Tisbury Alice who is the daughter of Wessex Mateus, a Highlander son. Alice has the lovely solid frame of her father and a dense white fleece. I like her look. Alice also has her grandfathers disposition and is rather highly strung with a penchant to let the spit fly.

Alice had a lovely little dark fawn cria last summer, sired by our very own Columbus. Little Flora (below) is absolutely gorgeous as you can see. She is almost light brown but not quite there. She also has a little white snout which adds to her general 'cute as a button' appearance. We are so pleased with Flora that Alice will be having another little Clumpmeister later this year.

The other white breeding female that we have now is Tisbury Dilly. Dilly is a maiden female who has actually been here for quite a while as have had her here since she was mated to Columbus last year. She is a Wessex Samurai daughter and we are keen to see what she can produce for us colourwise. Here she is with Alice (just to prove that we do have two and it's not one taken from different angles!).

So there we have it, the Mighty Patou herd is not as coloured as you may have thought.

Just as a way of compromise today though I have added a photograph of my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, now settled back in with her cria, Runa. Happy days.

The mothers are back!

2011-03-16T12:50:00.000Z

This morning Sue and I have been off to collect all the mothers of the weanlings from their secret winter weaning location. It's not far away and it gives them time to chat amongst themselves without being headbutted in the udder every ten minutes. It is a day I have looked forward to since they left, I don't like them going elsewhere and although I know they were being well looked after, I prefer to have them here.

The reactions amongst the reunited family groups were interesting. Unfortunately I didn't have the camera with me at the time but I have since been out and taken some pictures of the mothers interacting with the remainder of the herd.
Bobby (Chief hair-trigger spit monster) resolutely refused to let poor Ruby-May, her daughter, get any closer than she is in the picture. Check out that body language! Ruby's face has a decidedly green tinge to it now.

The lovely Dee and her cria Reeya, however, were most content to pose together. I could have taken a hundred photographs actually they just stood there obligingly waiting for me to finish. They know about cameras you know. Neither of them has ever failed to pose for a picture when required. They are so elegant, almost slightly aloof and Reeya at ten months of age is already bigger than her mum!

Little Roger's mum, Poppy (on the right and first cria of Bobby the hair-trigger chief etc) didn't much appreciate his company but did have quite a chat with the gorgeous Millie (daughter of my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world). What a couple of beautiful looking brown girls. Millie is pregnant to Jack of Spades (can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that one!). Poppy is pregnant to our very own Cambridge Columbus (The Clumpmesiter) and if we get a good combination of both their respective fleece types it could be very good for us. We will see.

And lastly, here she is, my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, Lily. To have her home means a lot to us and she was absolutely mobbed by Runa (last years cria) and Millie (Lily's first cria) on arrival. That speaks volumes. I could only get a head shot of Lily as she wouldn't stop following me around. She loves me you see. I may have mentioned it in the past.

And finally, the arrival of 'the mothers' caused a bit of stir amongst the big boys. Qjori (nearest) was very interested and that really wound The Clumpmeister up. There was much pacing, snorting, posing and general puffing up by the two of them. Please ignore the fencing, it works, ok. That is all.

Long drive for new socks.

2011-03-14T10:49:00.000Z

Ok, here we go, The Futurity.

In short, we came away with a fifth place rosette for the Mighty Ruby May a sixth place for the beautiful Reeya, a third place rosette for a photograph of Polly in the snow, the second of two thunderous hangovers for me and a craving for spoon food and an early night.

At one point and I will be brutally honest I had almost given up the will to breathe. Disappointed does not cover it. Extremely disappointed gets somewhere near but devastatedly disappointed with bells, whistles and claxons on probably hits it on the head. I am however, better now.

Perspective has been searched for and found and we will bounce back. We are also going to buy a fan. Wet alpacas, not good, and we had some very wet alpacas. Weird. It was cold in the hall but the alpacas were sweating like seriously sweaty things. I took them outside but that was against the law so they came back in.

That was some seriously tough competition. I have never seen such a gathering of high quality alpacas across all colours before with large classes everywhere. I went round and looked at some of the alpacas that had been placed above us. I tell you what people that was the best thing I could have done because the margins were fine. The quality is improving across the board and there isn't a lot between the best and the rest. That gave me heart. I have looked again at The Mighty show team and I still think they are good. Another month of fleece growth, different conditions and who knows, we all know how much alpacas can change as they go through the show season. We haven't thrown the towel in yet, we will be back. We are, after all, mighty!

On a positive note we had a splendid time in good company all weekend, looked at loads of alpacas and met and talked to some very nice people. Not only that but we restocked with some rather splendid socks. I got red ones, nice.

So with a smile on my face a skip in my step and joy in my heart I post some photographs of the event for the benefit of anyone who reads this. As Sue was enjoying herself in the ring I had free rein to wander about with the camera. I will post some of my favourite pictures from the event. I hope nobody minds, I don't think it's illegal so here we go.

Firstly we have Sue in the ring with Rico. They are standing next to the large dollop of doodah that Rico has just deposited on the green carpet. He also had a big wee. Somebody in the background seems to find it very amusing but should really have been concentrating on the showing. Actually Karen did have a good weekend so well done to Amyrick.

Here is Karen with little Inca Euphoria taking first place in the Junior black female class. The Inca's did very well as usual and Jack of Spades had a massive influence on the coloured classes. He is a superstar and I know there was some controversy over the 'non-awarding' of the Junior Herdsire award so I'll say it here. The award for the Junior Herdsire 2011 goes to.........(drum roll)..............LILLYFIELD JACK OF SPADES OF INCA (huge roar and a standing audience applauds).

Now some photographs of people who I enjoyed watching doing well. Graham and Jenny McHarg had a cracking weekend with, I think (forgive me if I'm wrong), four first places and two Champion ribbons for their Top Account progeny. Here is Graham having a few quiet congratulatory words with Fowberry Paloma after she took first place in the junior white female class.

Some people from Cornwall also did well.......name escapes me at the moment.........Pop something.....Oh yes Popham! Smile of the day from Gary as he wins yet another first place.

I finally met little Explorer from Beckbrow who is seen below with Paul getting third place in the junior whites. Not much competition there then!

Now I don't really know what to say about the next photo. Dave Bearman seems to have a small woman sitting on his lap. What on earth was going on?

And finally, for I have dribbled on for too long, a picture without an alpaca in sight. She will not like me putting it on the blog but she's gone out. Sue was, as I stated previously, quite brilliant in the ring and out of the ring was there to dust me down and get me to see things in perspective. She is truly a wonderful, wonderful person and I love her more than it is possible to convey in words.

Now, SWAG next, bring it on!

A whimsical day.

2011-03-07T15:46:00.000Z

I have to confess to being in a somewhat whimsical mood today. Whimsy, what a great word, very underused. Anyway I am feeling whimsical, it may be something to do with the beautiful warm sunshine and the fact that I am at home, alone, pottering about doing bits and bobs, it may not, I just don't know.

I've just looked up 'whimsy' in the dictionary. Whimsy it says, is "the trait of acting unpredictably and more from whim or caprice than from reason or judgment".
Yes, that indeed sums up my mood today.
I have been acting unpredictably in that I have been doing something and then, like a very large and heavy butterfly (a butterfly incapable of flight obviously, and one that looks nothing like a butterfly, come on you know what I mean) I have stopped, mid-flow so to speak and gone off and started to do something else. I can't explain it really, it must be like being retired, I have no real regimentation about anything today, just aimlessly wandering through the day. Before I started writing this blog I was outside building a new chicken run for when we are away. I haven't finished it yet but I just downed tools and wandered off and now I find myself sitting in the kitchen having left the front door wide open for the first time this year (it is that warm here today).

Earlier today I was sealing the kitchen worktops (at last) and before that I was outside fiddling with some bits of wood. I've walked the dogs and fed the alpacas and had a cup of coffee with an old Rooster and an Australian and I have even had lunch, a couple of homemade wraps if you're interested but I somehow feel a little bit like I'm in limbo. It's as if I'm waiting for something to happen, waiting for some purpose in life, waiting for something to get me going and do you know what, having thought about it whilst composing this particular episode of drivel I have figured out what that 'thing' is.

Yes dear reader, I am waiting to start getting ready for the first Alpaca show of the year, The British Alpaca Futurity. This morning the Rooster and the Australian (not the one you may be thinking of, I know more than one you know) cast an eye over the Mighty Patou show team. Very encouraging noises were made and a rather splendid prediction was made by the Australian about which I shall say no more (there is a clue in the above photograph) but I am very pleased about it. That I think was the start of my whimsical mood. That was when the day seemed to dissolve into a much more fluid experience, when I seemed to go into my current state of waitingness (is that a word? It should be). Tomorrow morning I will wash the trailer and the Land Rover in readiness for the trip northwards. After lunch I have an evening shift at work to get through followed by a day shift on Wednesday. Then I will switch hats and become wholly part of the Mighty Patou. On Thursday morning Sue and I will load up the Land Rover and come 2.30pm, with the trailer loaded, we will be on the road heading North.

I feel that the calmness that is currently pervading everything I do will disappear over the next three days. I fear that come Thursday evening when we arrive at Stoneleigh Park I may be a bit of a gibbering idiot.

Today a new field.......

2011-03-02T14:02:00.002Z

Exciting news here in Patouland as our expansion plan begins.
We live on a 250 acre sheep farm but the Mighty Patou herd only has access to the 5 acre field in front of the house. With the herd numbering thirty-one and with 12 cria due this summer, we are outgrowing our space.

Last year negotiations began with the farmer for more land. Today a new fence is being installed in a large field which is linked to our five acres. A further three acres is coming our way!!
As you can see from the picture below, taken from the front garden, two splendid chaps are, as I type, putting up stock fencing! The part of the field to the right of the fence will soon have some Mighty Patou alpacas running around in it and I am extremely happy about the situation!

The majestic Qjori is in the foreground patrolling his borders as normal, Columbus (unseen) is in his paddock to the left of Qjori and the rest of the herd is munching away to the right of the picture. Not only that but the sun is shining and it is predicted to remain dry right up to next Thursday which is a day I have looked forward to for about twelve months! The British Alpaca Futurity is hoving into view!

Preparations are well underway, halter training has been taking place regularly and nearly everyone is behaving themselves. I have yet to try on my dinner jacket, I am nervous........ I daren't....... it might have shrunk..........again.

This years Futurity will be the first show we have attended where I will not be going into the show ring. Sue, who is a million times more pleasing on the eye than me, has got her black trousers and white shirt ready and will be taking the mighty show team into the ring and I can't wait to see them strut their stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I love taking our beautiful animals into the ring but I have kind of been hogging the limelight a bit up until now and it is time to relinquish my vicelike grip on the halters.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see Sue doing well with our team at the shows and although Sue is a bit nervous she will be brilliant at it. She just will, because she just is brilliant (she's put up with me for well over 20 years and deserves a whole rack of medals for that alone!)

Our show plan for the year has now been decided and we are hitting all the big ones this year. The SWAG Spring show next month which is always a huge show (the big magnificent brown boy will be making his first UK appearance there folks!), then the National Show (our first ever visit to the National) and then The Royal Bath and West Show at Shepton Mallet in June.

So we finally get some more land to expand into. This week, the next field. Next, the whole farm, then the whole village, the county, the Uk and then THE WORLD!! We are coming people the Mighty Patou are on the move!!!!!!

Right I'm off for a lie down in a darkened room. My tablets and teddy please nurse...... thankyou.

A full day in Patouland

2011-02-24T17:59:00.002Z

No photographs with today's blog. I am on the 'new laptop' which doesn't have many images on it and, well to be honest I just can't be arsed to get Sue in a headlock and hurl her off the other computer. No seriously, I am aching a bit and need a rest, we have had a very busy day today.

Sue was working so after walking the dogs and checking the alpacas Angus and I were back into the Airfix workshop. A Supermarine Spitfire Mk IV and a Messerschmidt 110 were in need of finishing off. A bit of a paint 'touch up' followed by strange stickers that had to be soaked and floated off their backing prior to mounting on the aircraft, brought back memories of my childhood I can tell you!

After this the Airfix workshop table was cleared to reveal the table tennis table that it is (Sue maintains that it is a kitchen/dining room table, but me and the boy know differently, it does have a net afterall!). We then played table tennis with much of the usual hilarity for 30 minutes or so, or until it all got a bit silly if you like. There is a time and a place for a full blown smash I told Angus and it does have to be sort of aimed at the table.

Angus and I then travelled down to a hospital far, far, away to visit an Old Rooster (no need for any further description), we went with gifts of nuts and chocolate and it was nice to cheer someone up. He's out tomorrow so we had to be quick.

Upon our return, via somewhere that sold rather nice bratwursts in rolls, we joined up with Sue who had just returned from work. No resting though as we were out with the alpacas to round them up for a photographic project. Our photographers arrived and I posed with the beautiful Millie who behaved impeccably.

Next we went into 'microchipping mode' which went extremely smoothly. We have changed tactics on chipping this year after Sue heard about a good chip site at the base of the ear in a nice little flap of skin. All chips successfully inserted and checked with the scanner. Nice job, if I don't say so myself.

After chipping we were off halter training which sort of went well. There was quite a lot of running around afterwards, chasing alpacas who were still wearing halters which I have promised not to talk to Angus about anymore, if you get my drift.

It has been a spiffingly bright and sunny day with a high of 14C. The grass is growing and spring is just around the corner, no doubt about it.

Right enough of this drivel, it would appear to be beer o'clock.

An Newf on the 'run'.

2011-02-22T08:44:00.003Z

Finally I have resurfaced after seven days at the day job. I now have three days at home with Angus (aged 8) who is on half term (Sue is at her day job this week), and of course, all the Patou animals.

It has been a somewhat 'interesting' past four days. Kira, our big beautiful Newf has had a touch of gastro-entiritis. Now if I was going to select an animal to live with that had a 'touch of gastro-enteritis' it would not be a Newfoundland. She isn't big for a Newf by any means but still tips the scales at over 40 kilos. That is one large poop production plant. Sue and I have been entering the kitchen with trepidation over the last few days to see the extent of the, well what shall we call it, I think so as not to offend we will call it 'the outage'.

Can you imagine how much 'outage' a fully grown Newfoundland can produce? No, add a bit more. No, more still, it's more than that. That's it, you've got it, that's how much 'outage' a fully grown Newf can produce. That is a lot of cleaning up. Our kitchen floor has never been washed so much so often as it has over the past four days. It is, periodically, spotless. Then it is not, if you get my drift.

Anyway, we seem to be on top of things now, a trip to the vet was eventually required and medication has been administered. This morning she was given food again, only chicken and rice, but she has had an 'input'. We await with a kind of 'peeping out from behind the curtains' feeling to see what the 'outage' will be and where and when it will appear. Sorry if I have put you off your breakfast, lunch or supper but I felt the need to share!

A tough decsision has been made this week. We have decided to reduce the show team from five down to four. A further inspection of the lovely Runa, daughter of Lily, my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, has revealed that she hasn't quite hit the mark fleecewise. She is now officially withdrawn from The Futurity. She is the blackest of our black weaners (and the only one out of a black mother) but her fleece is less dense than the others and she doesn't have that 'wow' factor when you look inside her fleece that the others have. There is no point in putting her through the show when we know she will not do well. The others, we think, have a chance but Runa will stay at home with the rest of the herd.

On the subject of the Futurity, Sue and I are becoming increasingly more excited about attending. The necessary arrangements have been made for the care of 8 year old son, dogs, cats, chickens and alpacas. We have it all covered and now our attention has turned to getting the show team in the best possible condition to be judged. Last year I travelled up in torrential rain and I just couldn't get Penny, who was being shown as a fawn, dry. She was still sopping wet in the ring. She still picked up a third place in a large class but I reckon if she had been dry she might have bettered that.

A modification will be made to the trailer over the next day or two to prevent the rain getting in this year. We will be travelling up on Thursday afternoon to get the team settled in during the evening. Being coloured they will all be shown on Friday morning I expect so should be in good nick. We have a couple more halter training sessions to get through and then we will be ready.

Let the fun begin!

It has begun!

2011-02-14T15:52:00.005Z

Yes, halter training finally got underway this weekend. Weather charts have been studied in great depth, halters and leads have been collected, cleaned and allocated to their respective weaners. Pep talks have been given, objections have been fielded and rejected. In general the Mighty Patou has been collectively girding it's loins ready for the big 'off'. The rain finally abated on Saturday morning and Sue and I were out rounding up in the slippery, slippery, slippery mud, not ideal for halter training but hey ho the time for talk is finished. Action was required .

We have been out again today as the sun came out and the show team are really getting the hang of it quite quickly. We have taken a different approach this year. Usually we drag, I mean lead them around the main alpaca field but this year we decided to take them out into new unchartered territory. Right behind our house is a ten acre field which usually has either sheep or turnips in it (we have lots of winter type stews when it's full of turnips). At the moment the field is empty, the gate was open, an obvious invitation.
So we rounded up and separated the show team. We then haltered and began. Initially there was the usual rearing up and general flouncing around on the end of the halter but then they settled down. After a few minutes to get used to the halter situation we were off.
I took the three girls, Runa, Reeya and Ruby May and Sue took the two little boys, Roger and Rico. The dragging began. However, after the initial twenty yards to the gateway they all became quite interested in what was for them a bit of an adventure.

I led the way with the girls and Sue followed with the boys. After a gentle stroll around the field Saturday's stint was over and all seemed happy. The only one who seemed to be still resisting was the carthorse that is Ruby May. I wasn't exactly dragging her but she wasn't exactly making it easy for either of us.

Today, however, they all seemed to get the hang of it and we did two very pleasant circuits of the field. Happy days!

On top of the hill we stopped for the obligatory blog photograph.
From left to right: Ruby May, Reeya, Rico, Runa, Sue and Roger.
I had taken the little Canon with us but the batteries went flat as soon as I switched it on, marvellous, for a moment I thought it was going to be one of 'those' days where the world was against me. I'm sure you know the sort. The sort of day when just about everything gets on your wick and you feel the only remedy is to punch 'the world' right in the face accompanied by some choice expletives. Are you with me? No? Just me then.
Anyway out came the Blackberry as back-up and the snaps were taken.
At this juncture I must point out that Sue is not a Wookie. It was a very windy morning and her hair went a little bit out of control. With my sleek streamlined look I had no such problems, obviously.

After that we nipped out for a very pleasant pub lunch to celebrate Valentines day together. What a splendid day.
Tomorrow the day job beckons so the damp all encompassing blanket of misery that envelopes me will return. One day. One day.

Who is this Lampwick Sidley?

2011-02-10T12:52:00.003Z

Some of you may have noticed the odd (in both senses of the word) and mildly amusing comments on this blog from time to time from someone called Lampwick Sidley.

You may have wondered who this Lampwick Sidley is. It is an odd name, indeed you might think that it is a made up name. Well I can reveal that it is. His real name is Graham. No really it is.

He is a good friend of mine and he obviously has a little too much free time on his hands. He certainly rivals if not exceeds my levels of childishness. We have been mistaken for each other by some of our less observant colleagues. He is taller and slimmer than me. We are both largely bald and sport dodgy goatee beards I suppose but really? Our 'look' will undoubtedly come back into fashion one day.

So back to Lampwick Sidley who, in his comments, professes to know very little about alpacas. Well you may be surprised to know that he knows a little bit more than he lets on.

Lampwick, I mean Graham, has actually been in the show ring with two of the Mighty Patou's females. Not only that but with his assistance, or despite his incompetence more like, one of them picked up a reserve colour championship.

Above, Lampwick can be seen with Patou Amelie prior to entering the ring at last years BAS Spring Show in the intermediate brown female class.

Now that Amelie has taken the reserve champion ribbon, he loses the shades and starts to take a bit more notice.

Thanks Lampwick, good work, now don't stop being silly there's a good boy.

Show Team update

2011-02-09T09:50:00.007Z

I have decided that today I will post a blog about the Mighty Patou Show Team 2011 and how it is progressing. My opinion? Very nicely indeed thank you.

This year we will have our biggest show team ever, only five alpacas, small to some but big to us. This will be our fifth year in the show ring and our biggest show team to date has been three. We are in unchartered territory here. We will have to be right on top of our organisational skills. We will have to be calm, collected, dare I even say it, professional in our approach. I will have to lower my excitement levels considerably.

For I am excited. It is only just over four weeks until The Futurity. How will the team do? I have no idea. Actually, I have some idea. An idea that is based on the facts in front of me.
I have looked at the show team in great depth over the past few months. Their fleeces have all changed, some for the better, some for the worse. They may change again.
What I can say with some certainty is that this is the best show team we have ever had. We have stepped up a gear. I know, or at least I presume that everyone else, the opposition, will have improved on what they had last year. If not people, watch out, you are in for a kicking. That's how good we are!

Alright enough of the breast beating, they'll be plenty of time for that when we get underway.

So this morning I have been out with the camera with varying degrees of success. It is a dingy morning with a touch of drizzle in the air.

The first picture is of Patou Runa, daughter of Patou Lily, my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world. She will be in the junior black female class and I know for sure that she will not win. We shouldn't be taking her really but I entered the team early. She will not win because she will be beaten by another member of our team, more on that further down the page. Runa doesn't like to pose for the camera, but she is lovely.

Next up is Patou Roger Resilient, our entry in the junior brown male class. I suspect this may be a tough class for little Roger, he will have his work cut out. He is pictured with Patou Rico.

And here is Patou Rico, our entry in the junior black male class. Rico is the most laid back cria we have, impossible to rush him. If he could whistle, he would be whistling constantly. How can you not love that face?

Now the reason that Runa will not win the junior black female class. Patou Ruby May. The powerhouse of the team. Ruby is simply awesome. She is the best black cria we have ever had by a distance. She is the heaviest boned cria we have ever had and she has a super bright crimpy fleece all over her. A certain black alpaca breeder better watch out. Patou Ruby May is focussed and ready to do battle. She's coming for you big boy!

Lastly and by no means least, in fact I think the absolute pick of our team, is Patou Reeya, daughter of our old Chilean import Dee. Reeya, always poses for the camera. To get the above four pictures I had to take about 30 and pick one that was half decent for each alpaca. Not that way with Reeya. One photgraph was all it took. I actually took two, the other is equally as good. She is just a born superstar. She oozes class, not just to photograph but also in her fleece. She has without doubt the best fleece of any animal we have bred.

So there we have it, the Mighty Patou Show Team. It will change as the year goes on as the Mighty Van Diemen Qjori of Patou will be joining in later.

Sorry if any of you take offence at the contents of this blog posting. I have stuck my neck out, I have put my head on the block, I have set myself up for a fall, I have set out my stall, all of that.

If you know me you will know that I am a bit of a berk and that I don't take myself very seriously. If we win any rosettes I will cry with joy, can't help myself. If we don't win any, I will shrug my shoulders and move on.

We take our alpaca breeding seriously here in Patouland. We are doing what we can to breed the best. But, and this is a big but, we do it with a smile, a wink and a chuckle. Anything for a giggle and if the joke is on us occasionally, so be it, we can take it.

One thing I didn't mention was that, in case you were not aware, all of the above show team were sired by the same male. The awesome Lillyfield Jack of Spades of Inca. He is the business.

Bumble bees in jam jars.

2011-02-06T17:15:00.005Z

No pictures today as for the last couple of days I have been leaving for work in the dark and returning in the dark, guaranteed to make Mark a very grrrrrrrrrrumpy boy. Grrrr. I could have taken some pictures of something inside the house, perhaps a picture of some plates or a sofa or even some artfully arranged logs? How about some socks carelessly cast aside on the stairs? (What the hell am I talking about???)

Anyway, no pictures unless you want to see more of Qjori? I have loads? Yes? No? Maybe? Why not? Are you saying he's not the most handsome alpaca in the world? Not the right colour? How dare you? What's up with you?

How about a head shot? Ok one head shot and no more. He's mine and he needs rationing to you lot.

I think I may have had one too many cups of coffee today.

So, what news here in Patouland. Well, we have been busy. Things have been occurring here. Weaning to begin with. All ten mothers have now left the main field for a top secret location where they can graze peacefully without a large fluffy bonce hitting them in their underneath dangly bits every couple of hours. The babies are left with all the pregnant maidens and the boys and they don't seem to be missing their mothers at all. In fact it seems to have given Roger Resilient and Rafiki more time for 'stud muffin' action.

They are both practising their orgling big time. It is like being at some sort of weird rodeo as Roger and Rafiki ride various other cria around the field. Male or female it doesn't seem to matter. Backwards and forwards they trot with various weaners acting like wheel barrows. I love it because it produces my favourite noise in the whole wide world. The weanling orgle. Like a very large bumble bee buzzing angrily in a jam jar. I just love it! When they are both at it, which is quite frequent, the noise is fantastic. I will capture it and it will become my ring tone, which is currently Columbus at full throttle!

Actually this week the mighty Patou has increased in numbers. A very kind offer which we simply couldn't refuse came our way and a small herd has amalgamated with the mighty Patou. When I have time I will post pictures of the new arrivals. It includes two Columbus cria who look fantastic, which is very exciting for us. We still can't quite believe the kindness and trust involved in the offer. We are humbled and very proud to have been chosen. I'm not going to mention names, I just don't think it is appropriate at the moment. Suffice it to say that we have plans for the newcomers, some will stay, some will go but all will be loved. It also means that we now have twelve cria due this summer which in turn means that we are going to be growing pretty quickly over the next few years.

We will have to change our herd motto from 'You don't have to be big to be mighty' to 'We're big and mighty, so watch out!' or maybe 'Come on then it's go time punk!' Mmm........perhaps not.

Right, there's a chicken in the oven that smells rather good, Sue and Angus are due home soon so I must clear up a mess somewhere that I will have undoubtedly left and not noticed. Ooh and I sense a glass of wine coming on.

By George I think we've done it!

2011-01-31T12:43:00.004Z

Once again I find myself up against the clock. Three times in the last three days I have started a blog only to run out of time, abandon the entry and start again the following day. That is very frustrating. Today however, I have 23 minutes until I have to get changed for work. 23 minutes to waffle about my favourite male alpaca in the whole wide world (Sorry Jack, you have been surpassed).

I have wittered on about Qjori (pronounced Cory) before, some may say I have spouted enough about him, well it's my blog and he's my boy and that's the way it is! Prepare to repel more rambling dribblings for I feel a right old spitoonfull coming on.

Yesterday the sun was shining on a bitterly cold Wiltshire morning, a brisk northerly breeze was biting through our clothes chilling us as the sun's warm rays attempted to penetrate those same clothes in order to warm us, a battle between wind and sun, marvellous. Sue and I took the opportunity to grab Qjori's halter, his ribbons and the camera and set out to get 'that' photograph. We changed location, the wind blew, we photographed him facing one way and then the other, with and without his ribbons. I wanted to get it right. I tried photographing on my knees as Sue expertly lead the Qjorimester around. Eventually I found myself lying flat on the ground amongst the alpaca 'beans'.

I wanted to get it right because, and I'm sure you will agree, we all look at or watch our alpacas and see them at their very best. We see them as we would like others to see them. We see them strike that pose, stand proud, look macho, look cute, look powerful, look motherly, all depending on how they behave or how they should look, how we want them to look, in essence how they are.

I wanted to capture a bit of that in Qjori so that you could see him as I see him. So that you could see him as he is. And do you know what? I think we have got very close indeed.

Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is our boy. Van Diemen Qjori of Patou.

And that is our boy with his party clothes on.

Right, you are spared any more drivel as I must remove my trousers immediately.

A quick one! (oooh err missus!)

2011-01-27T12:23:00.003Z

Just a quick blog today as I sit here snaffling a quick, ham, mustard and Branston pickle sandwich. Mmmmmmmmmmm!
I had to take the day off today which was just as well. Angus went a bit squiffy this morning so was kept back from school (a slow and rather miraculous recovery has taken place this morning!). On top of that the floor fitters arrived at 0930hrs to re-floor the utility room and right in the middle of that the alpaca feed arrived.

We buy an all in one alpaca feed from Mole Valley Farmers and the minimum delivery weight is a tonne (or is that a ton?), it's forty sacks, each weighing 25 kilos. Today the delivery driver said his lorry was fully laden and couldn't get up to our house. This resulted in me having to hitch up the trailer and reverse down to him waiting in the road (well it's a lane really, the super highway that is the C24!). Once there I had to load it all into the trailer and then drive back up the hill to unload it all into the shed. A very effective way of warming up in a quite brisk North Easterly wind!

This afternoon I am catching a train to London to meet up with some of my old school chums for a half a shandy or two. We have to plan this autumn's 'old school chums trip', called 'The Rat Run' (from Ratcliffe College, where we schooled). Our leader has called an emergency meeting and as such there was no way I could refuse to go. It is my duty, it is important, I would be letting everyone, including myself, down. So, ho hum I have to go and that's that. It's a bummer and all that having to drink beer all night with my oldest friends but as I have said it just has to be done. Tee hee!!!!

Four days off!!!!

2011-01-21T11:52:00.004Z

Yes, four days off and I am right up there close to complete delirium. Even the Aussies winning the one dayer this morning hasn't dampened my mood. On top of my general high spiritedness I think I've had too much coffee this morning which has made me extremely hyper. I am quite literally buzzing. I must calm down or I will be asleep by 6 and we have guests for dinner.
We are having curry which is gently simmering on the hob, it smells like an Indian restuarant in here which is fantastic!

A couple of days ago we received a parcel from far far away.
Those super fab people Bob and Diane Hey at Van Diemen Alpacas in Burnie, Tasmania had responded to a request to send Qjori's ribbons over from Australia. I was expecting to have to send them back, these things are hard won and highly cherished I know. However, Bob said that we could keep them and wished us luck with Qjori's future. How is that for customer service! I can honestly say that buying Qjori was the best decision we have made since we decided 5 years ago to take that first step into the wonderful world of alpacas. He was exactly what we were looking for and we absolutely love him, he is a super looking male with a terrific fleece and if anyone is fed up with me saying things like that about him, sorry, there's plenty more to come!

Anyway the reason for the ribbon request was so that we could take some nice publicity shots for some advertising. Not as easy as it sounds!

Sue and I spent an hour out in the sunshine with Qjori, his ribbons, the trusty Canon and a slightly gusty wind. I held Qjori, Sue took pictures, Sue held Qjori, I took pictures. Over a hundred pictures were taken, sometimes Sue was a little distracted and there were far too many shots of our rear ends (arty I was told?).

Actually we had to take one of his ribbons off as he just had too many and looked a little like he was standing behind a curtain. He was very patient and we farted around trying to get the best shot.

We are nearly there, but not quite. We will be trying again when the sun next shines, a different background maybe. We'll get there, nothing but perfection will do.

It's all down to my secret New Years resolution which was to stop saying 'Sod it, that'll do' .............................. because it just won't.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

2011-01-16T17:28:00.004Z

I can't believe its 5 days since my last post and about three days since I sat down in front of the computer (not counting the odd look at the Blackberry which doesn't really count because if I haven't got my glasses with me my eyes bleed with the strain of trying to focus!).
The day job is to blame, as usual. Friday and Saturday's ten hour day shifts meant leaving for work in the dark and returning home in the dark, very, very annoying.

Whilst I wasn't here Sue was keeping an eye on things and after the gale force winds over the weekend she reports that poor old Clump's shelter is now only about three feet high instead of about seven feet high. The Patou Alpacas show tent has well and truly bitten the dust despite literally yards and yards of baling twine coming off it in every direction. Like me and a pair of tights, it just didn't have the legs for it. It is, I'm afraid, skip bound.

Apart from that the mud is still ever present, the alpacas are munching through the (very expensive) hay at a rate of knots and the dogs are doing their level best to poop scoop the alpaca field (doesn't improve their breath one bit!).

Halter training is looming just around the corner and I am really looking forward to it. In fact I can't wait. I know it can be a bit of a struggle with some cria but it is always enjoyable.
The one I am looking forward to halter training this year is Ruby May. She was the first cria of the year born way back in May (on Sue's birthday).
She is the biggest, chunkiest cria we have ever had (in fact she is the spitting image of her father) and she is the latest in a line of really troublesome, hair trigger spit monsters. Her mother, Bobby has produced the stressiest alpacas we have ever had in Poppy and Penny (both successful in the show ring I might add) but I get the feeling that Ruby is more like her Dad, the supercool Jack of Spades. Let's hope so anyway!

One more day shift and then I'm in to evenings (mornings free for alpaca stuff and chores) and then days off.

Life as usual is grand down here in Patouland!

Especially for you!

2011-01-11T13:06:00.002Z

A day off so time for a short blog especially for Gary down at Popham Alpacas.

Patou Resilient, (aka Roger) is doing very well thank you. He may not be the biggest alpaca in the herd but as we all know, you don't have to be big to be mighty!

Yup, he's coming along nicely thank you.
Dino, Commander or Hobgoblin? Bring them all.

Little Roger Resilient will be ready and waiting.

What? Twelve days? No. Really?

2011-01-10T11:11:00.002Z

I had a moment to check the internet this morning and saw that it has been twelve days since my last posting! I was utterly amazed and ashamed of myself. Twelve days! I have never abstained for that long.
I am very sorry loyal readers, I have wronged you greatly. You may like to take satisfaction in the knowledge that immediately after I had recovered from the shock I donned my wellies and ran outside.
Never before have I given myself such a punishing and lengthy larraping with a whippy twig. It really smarted people, a lot. Not only that but it's difficult. It's not that hard to slap yourself with the instrument of pain I agree, but it's hard to hit the target when your trying to run away from yourself! A mental picture here will help folks.'Let that be a lesson to you I shouted' as I caught myself a glancing blow for the final time.
Indeed readers it has been a valuable lesson. It won't happen again, I promise.
Of course I have a whole raft of excuses. The day job for starters, that is extremely irritating, always getting in the way of life in general. New Years day was a complete write-off. When will I learn?
However, I have been keeping up with other peoples news by reading the blogs who haven't let you down. The 'Ladies of leisure up North' for instance never miss more than a few days at the most (Blue touch paper well and truly lit methinks!).

Anyway with the nonsense out of the way on to Patou news.
Well not a huge amount to report really. We are in the period of the year when the mighty Patou plans, once again, for world domination. A period where we gather together the big hitters in the herd and have a frank exchange of views as to how we feel the herd should be progressing this year. Opinions as to which direction we should be heading in 2011 are heard and discussed.
The general consensus this year is to continue pushing for brown domination.
There was a minor objection from the black and fawn flanks of the herd but once we had introduced Their Royal Patounesses Cambridge Columbus and Van Diemen Qjori of Patou into the argument that was soon quashed.
'Brown is the way we are heading and these are the boys who are doing all the colourwork' I said gruffly. All the girls fell silent and there was a certain amount of eyelash fluttering from some rather young girls as Qjori turned sideways on and pushed out his chest. 'Steady lad, no 'colourwork' until April' I whispered but he had done enough, brown it is to be.

On domestic matters we have been dealing with an overflowing septic tank, (nice) and a flooded utility room (not connected thankfully!) and a whole heap of mud everywhere.

Halter training has not yet begun but will have to start soon. The show team have been selected and entered into the Futurity. Future shows have been identified and day job permitting (grrrrrrr make it go away!!!!) we will be showing more than ever before this year.

2011 has well and truly begun. The Mighty Patou is ready and poised, waiting to start our advance on the world again.

Right, enough sitting down, I have stuff to do.

Nearly there! (part two)

2010-12-30T09:48:00.008Z

It has been over a week since my last post and I just don't know where the week went.

Christmas here in Patouland was marvellous. To see a 7 year old (nearly eight) burst into tears on Christmas morning out of pure happiness will be a memory treasured forever (I'm afraid he gets his emotional side from his father who can cry at the drop of a hat, don't come near me during any major patriotic sporting event!).

A fabulous day spent with my fabulous family, it doesn't get any better than that.

The Christmas day celebrations started slightly later than normal due to the extended chore regime that all livestock owners were embracing in the ice and snow.

Buckets of hot water lugged, feed, hay and straw distributed and a general looking over of the mighty Patou herd first. Dogs walked and fed, chickens and cats foddered before breakfast was even considered.

My father, an army officer for 32 years, always impressed on me the importance of ensuring everyone else was fed and watered before indulging oneself. A good way to look at life in general.

Anyway, a white Christmas, when did we last have that in the shandy drinking south?

After four days off I was back to work yesterday but after a late shift today another 5 days off beckons, can't really complain about that.

On the alpaca front we separated four females two weeks ago who were a bit thin, this included my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, Lily, who fought back from near death under two years ago. They have been penned in half the field shelter and half the marquee. Surrounded by food and out of the weather as well as being apart from their cria, (who haven't strayed far from their mums) seems to have done the trick. All four have put on weight and I am not concerned about them any longer. They will be moved to a separate field shortly out of sight of their babies where they will regain even more condition.
As you can see the cria are quite large enough to fend for themselves, especially Rafiki (on the left) who is a giant!

Once New Year is out of the way we have halter training to look forward to, which is always interesting in the mud!

All that remains is for me to wish you all a very, very, splendid New Year!

2011 is going to be an absolute corker! I just know it!

Nearly there!

2010-12-22T13:49:00.008Z

Ok, so here we are, the 22nd of Christmas, I mean December, and we are nearly there, the big day is only three days away! The excitement is building at an ever increasing rate here in Patouland and we are just about ready. A 10 hour shift on Christmas Eve and I'm done!

Before I comment on the photographs on this posting I would like to proffer up a couple of thank you's. Firstly, I neglected to mention on my last post our attendance at the social event of the year. Yes, the Wonderful World of Inca Christmas Dinner.

His and Her Royal Alpaca Highnesses, Lord Timothy and Lady Tracey of Inca Alpaca invited us once again to join a select group of seasoned 'troughers' to celebrate all things black .........and brown (of course) ....... and grey (something for the oldies) in a convivial atmosphere.

This year the Inca Warriors chose one of the most remote pubs (and a rather splendid one at that) in deepest darkest Somerdorsetshire (can't remember which). Actually, I must thank the lovely Mrs S too. I had offered gallantly to drive there and back and fully intended to do so but on arrival Sue stated that she would do the honours on the return trip. Within half a second I was at the bar ordering a pint of Doombar. Marvellous. Poor old girl was still in the car park!

There then followed a very relaxing evening shared amongst the massed clans of Inca, Patou, Amyrick and affiliated splendid people. Thanks for a great night guys.

Secondly and most unexpectedly, a big thank you to Andy and Viv at Reddingvale, we have spoken on the phone and they will know what it is about but once again, thank you very much, a fantastic box of fodder!

Right, now to more of the usual drivel. Todays photographic offerings are courtesy of the lovely Mrs S who has been out snapping in the snow, seemingly at anything that moves. Her usual black and white arty fart shots have been superceded by some colourful offerings which I happen to think are rather good.

Firstly our lovely slathering oaf of a Newfie, Kira, in resplendent pose atop a mound of snow, actually more of a hillock really, although she doesn't like to be called that.

Next, our very own beardy weirdy, Fu Man Chu herself, Patou Minstrel.

A couple of Mighty brown powerhouses, Poppy and her son Roger Resilient (aka The Popham basher), colourwise, that is what we here in Patouland are all about.

And finally.......... Angus has been a busy beaver out in the field building a very impressive igloo. Three days in construction this den of snow is what every Inuit reader will be envious of. It has a chimney hole, and several ground floor windows, as well as........................

A rather substantial front door! En suite tractor parking area with every one built!

Thank you for reading readers, I will hopefully blog again before Christmas but if not we hope you all have an absolutely fabulous Christmas. Stay safe and warm and relax (after the chores of course!)

Patouman signing off....................................................now where's my whisky Mac?

It's snowtime!

2010-12-19T12:49:00.005Z

Yesterday we woke to a beautiful sunny snowy morning. Words sometimes aren't required (obviously I will stick some in, I can't help myself).

Patou Polly, after much discussion about the pose (she was very fussy about shadows and stuff).

The herd wandering back down to the toilet area (or field shelter with en-suite marquee, as we like to call it) after breakfast.

His Royal Lordship Van Diemen Qjori of Patou, growing into a magnificent looking boy.

Could this be next years Christmas cards (which reminds me, must go to the post office!)

Every day he is more and more interested in what the girls are doing. He stares at them....................................longingly. The Clump hates it.

Right, work beckons. How annoying is that?