This is the view from our kitchen window. I know every pane of glass well. I could draw a picture of the window, the frame and the view from memory. I could correctly recreate the vista with every tree, bramble and clump of grass in it's true place. I could detail every chip of paint on the metal window frame, every scratch or blemish on each pane of glass, every cobweb, every miniscule amount of detritus picked up on it's surface over the years, everything would be correct, for it is a window that I have come to know well. Why? Why you may ask? Well, in the right hand pane standing grazing as if she hadn't a care in the world is the alpaca that is currently the focus of all my attention. She is from our 'Space Cadet' family, a lovely calm slightly spaced out and carefree family. These are not spitty alpacas, these are not strugglers, these are not hummers, no, they are apparently content within their world, they are comfortable in their own skins. They are a happy family. A family with 'Never to be sold' stamped all over it.
Her name is Dee and she is the head of the Space Cadet family. All the hippy cool, all the laid back attitude, all of the seemingly perpetual state of bewilderment that pervades her offspring stems from Dee.
She wanders the paddock without a care in the world, if the rest of the herd follow so be it, if not she doesn't seem to care, she just does her own thing in the nicest possible way She can't whistle, obviously, for she is an alpaca. But I bet you any money you like she would if she could. She is a huge favourite down here in Patouland, I may have mentioned it before.
However, I am at the point where I may have to handcuff myself to the kitchen table soon because almost every fibre of my being is clamouring for me to run outside and chase the lovely Dee around that bloody paddock until she gives birth!
I mean come on! Today Dee has been pregnant for 361 days for crying out loud! Two more days and she will break our all time record! Doesn't she know what we have been through recently! Doesn't she know that we need a healthy cria on the ground NOW!
No of course she doesn't. She is an alpaca. She is fourteen years old and has had many cria before. She knows what she is doing. I just wish that she would let me in on the plan that's all!