Thursday, 11 June 2009

Under seige

We are under seige here at Patou HQ. Security has never been so tight.
There is a round the clock watch mentality here.
This, fellow alpaca loving friends, is serious, we are now at Defcon 4.

What, I here you wail, is causing such concern?
What terrible being is keeping us on our toes and has caused such unrest within the confines of the mighty Patou headquarters.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the cause of such fear.

You may have guessed from previous posts.

Yes, it is Miss Rosemary Mint, the invading lamb of doom!

Sure she appears all fluffy, all cute, all cuddly, but within that fluffy outer shell lurks the wicked mischievous mind of a machiavellian demon. She is the master of deception, an evil genius and she is toying with us. She has managed to get inside our heads. She is relentless and her wickedness seems to have no boundaries.

Having portrayed the role of 'abandoned dying lamb' to perfection, she gained a foothold into the house. A bath to warm her up and 24hours living in the bathroom as she lounged as if unable to stand whilst Sue tended to her every need. A night in the kitchen where she was able to work her evil mind games on the poor unsuspecting mad labs, they now follow her commands silently and without question.

We managed to oust her into the garden as her spells were not quite strong enough to defeat us and there she has remained largely until this very day.

She is, however, very definitely staking us out. She sits, lies or stands near the door, sometimes bleating to deafening levels waiting for her next opportunity to enter the house. We feed her three times a day without question, she has gained that control quite easily whilst we suspected nothing. Now when she commands we run around in a panic until milk is prepared, powerless to stop ourselves, we try, believe me, we try.

If we do happen to leave the door open as she mentally distracts us with her mind control she leaps up the step and enters. If anyone approaches her to eject her she has perfected a final evil trick which she carries out with a smile and sometimes a wink. She wees on the carpet. As soon as she gets through the door her rear end drops and it's tinkle time, we are powerless to stop her. Having peed, she prances off and we are left with nothing but the echoes of her evil cackle in the air and a growing wet patch on the carpet.

I ask for your thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.


Amiryck said...

I cannot offer anything other than a bowed stance for others to pray since I am bent over double laughing!

Katie said...

There is a good butcher in Tisbury!!

Perry Wheeler said...

BBQ that would sort her out!

Alpaca Farmgirl said...

This is the funniest story! Love it. Thanks so much for sharing it.