Where have I been?

Hello readers I saw today that it has been almost a week since I last posted and I just don't know where the time has gone. So without so much as an intelligent thought here is the drivel.

Things here in Patouland have been ticking along with a hefty bit of interference from the day job which actually turned into a night job for a couple of days. Yes, here in Wiltshire the event or rather 'non-event' of the year is the summer solstice at Stonehenge. I believe Stonehenge is what actually puts Wiltshire on the map. Without it people would just keep going until they reached the real West Country.

As usual fearing the absolute worst the bosses make everyone work all weekend and I was no exception.

The highlight was guarding an empty park and ride car park for 12 hours during the night. Don't ask me why I was there, I just was and I have rarely, if ever, been quite so bored.

Anyway, alpacas. Priscilla our matriarch is now 4 days away from being eleven months preggers and is enormous. Sue tells me her 'bits' have changed shape and a couple of days ago there was so much movement going on inside I thought there was going to be a side exit breakout........messy.

Last year she went eleven months and 2 days and I would be very surprised if she lasted that long.

Poor old Priscilla is doing a very good job of amusing me whilst we wait. She is so large that every movement, be it a scratch, a lie down, a get up, a spit, a sneeze, a sudden trot, even a tight turn, causes her to fart in a comical 'raspberry' like fashion. It's very amusing to a juvenile delinquent like myself.

Priscilla looking LARGE with Lily in the background practising her summer tap dancing routine.

She is carrying a cria by Lillyfield Jack of Spades of Inca, our favourite stud male and we are very keen to see the result. Priscilla hasn't got the best history with us and has produced three boys in a row over the last three years. Not only that but two of them, Bo Jangles and Jonah were not solid colours. Very handsome boys with lovely fleeces, but not solid. She owes us a beautiful girl and I just know she is going to come through with an absolute cracker.

Other news here is that we are still experiencing something called 'Summer', quite extraordinary. We have had barely a drop of rain in the last month and the alpacas are making the most of their relaxation time. I looked out of the window a couple of days ago and saw that Old Sunface the silent sniper had once again been out picking off the herd one by one.

I was almost tempted to join them but didn't want to take the chance. Bald head, no cream, no hat, excess sun exposure, equals, in no particular order, bollocking, pain, redness and more pain.

One day soon, I promise, I may act like a grown up.