The alpacas are wet.

It is wet here, very, very, very, wet. Great isn't it. It's the 9th of July, the height of the British summer and it is absolutely hosing it down as I write this.


In fact it has hosed it down all day save for a 30minute break from 5.30 to 6.00pm.


Now that was spooky, Sue has been minding the herd all day as I did the day job thing.
I arrived home at 5.15 in the pouring rain. Time to take the mad labs out for their evening alpaca poo eating session.

Sue couldn't do it as she was feeding Angus and his friend Toby with pizza, Angel delight and fruit. It was up to me and my enthusiasm level was not high.

Bearing in mind the slightly inclement weather I kitted up for monsoon. The full length drovers coat, the wellies, the leather hat and rubber underpants.

When I finally let the canine missile that is Josh (youngest and maddest chocolate lab) out of the back door I was somewhat surprised. I hadn't gone five yards and the rain had reduced to a dribble. Ten yards further on and it had stopped altogether.

By the time I had got to the first gate (only 50 yards people) I swear the sun was shining and I was getting hot. I looked to the sky and I seriously expected to see a big grinning face in the clouds, perhaps even a wink.

That would be totally ridiculous of course. But when I got home and managed to slow the mad labs entrance back into the house to a slow squirm the rain was once again pelting down with great force.

I paused for a moment and one thought entered my mind, 'fortune favours the brave'.

Either that or I am the righteous one, incredibly unlikely.

Another thought has been on my mind all day.

I have never received a comment on this blog from an australian living in Australia or an American living in America. Or for that matter anyone outside of Europe.

So come on you people, don't be shy lets hear you. Is this Internet thing really working?

Or is it based on some poor sod sitting in cellar winding a handle that is blatantly too small.

Is our internet thing confined to Europe? Come on wide world make yourself heard!!!!!

Warning - this is not about alpacas.

Sue and I came to be parents relatively late in life, indeed Angus was an IVF baby and is about as special as it is possible to be. He is now 5 and a half years old and is excelling at everything he does. I regularly practically burst with pride.

Anyway the reason I mention this is that he still has the capacity to surprise the whatnots off me on a daily basis. I mentioned in an earlier blog that he thought I was the coolest person he knew.

Now folks, you would have to stretch your imagination beyond the realms of all that is factual to reach the place whereby I can be described as cool. Angus, however, thinks I am.

That's my boy.

Last night we were doing what we always do on a Monday evening when Top Gear is on television.

I record the Sunday night show and then Angus and I, father and son, sit down after his bath and watch the previous nights programme.

Angus munches on fruit and cheese, I sip wine, Chardonnay it was last night.

We laugh, we applaud, we shout at the television, we high five, we just love it. Jezza, Hamster and Captain Slow are great entertainment and we just lap it up. We also watch the repeats regularly, we don't mind, Top Gear is fab and we love it. I expect you have the picture by now.

Anyway last night there we were sitting side by side on the sofa watching the programme.

They got to the part when they have two celebrities on to take the crap car round the Top Gear circuit.

Jezza said that he was catering for the minorities as he introduced the two guests as a welshman and a fat man.

Angus turned to me and said 'Dad you're welsh!'. 'Yes I am son and I am also fat, how about that!' I replied.

Angus imediately turned to look at me with a puzzled look on his face. 'No you're not Dad, you're not fat'.

Do you know what, he really meant it when he said it. I saw him look me up and down, his gaze pausing for a second on my not inconsiderable tum. In his eyes I don't think he saw it as anything other than a large muscular stomach.

He looked at me again a moment later, shook his head and said 'No' with a chuckle of disbelief as he returned to watching Top Gear.

So why am I telling you this, I don't know really, it plainly has nothing to do with alpacas. I think it's to share an experience that most, if not all parents can relate to. The bond between child and parent is an amazing phenomena. I am still struggling to comprehend the magnitude of it.

Maybe I'm thinking about it too much. Maybe I think too much, full stop.

Maybe I just like thinking and writing about it because in the world of father and son I am not overweight, no not at all, I am also the coolest person in the world.

Right that's the end of that, Judy is now back with the main herd and we must think what we are going to do with her.
Sue and I have been at home all day so it has rained and the alpacas haven't produced any more cria. At the time of writing anyway. This year seems to be the year of strangely timed birthings. We've had two before 6.30am, one after 9.00pm and one at 4.00pm.
Last year it seemed everyone gave birth around lunchtime. Well we have now learned that we must be on our guard for as long as it is light at least.


It was nice to get an e-mail from Alan and Lorna of Alpacas El Sol this morning. They moved to Spain earlier this year and have had a pretty rough time of it with a mother and cria dying on them. What a terrible start to a life with alpacas. We've only met them once when they came to visit us last year but they seem the sort that will take it on the chin and get on with life. We wish them well. Thanks for reading guys.


I also had an e-mail from Gerry Thompson from Coire Alpacas up in Scotland.
Lost your weather up there? Don't worry we have it here. Nice to hear from you Gerry.


That's the thing about the internet and blogs, you just don't know who is reading. There is no control. No way of knowing who is taking a interest in your life or what you are up to. It's all kind of weird really.


I enjoy reading columns in newspapers as it usually means that the writer is going to reveal something about themselves, it's as if they were talking to you.

It's the same with a blog I suppose. I write it because I have always enjoyed writing and I enjoy life with alpacas and spreading the word about alpacas. I've never really been one for secrecy either so I am able to reveal what I like to the reader. Basically I am a bit of a berk but don't really care.


I would hope that fellow alpaca owners, those newer to alpacas than ourselves may learn something from the blog.

I have certainly learned from other blogs. Rachel Hebditch's diary for instance has recently mentioned about prolapsed anus's (what is the plural of anus? anii? anium?) and prolapsed vaginas. Well hold on, nobody told me about this, it sounds bloody awful!

Bit it means that I am now aware of this phenomena and will know what to do, call the vet.......or a good seamstress.

Anyway back to the 'we just don't know who's reading this blog' thing. I would be as thrilled as a dog with two doodahs if someone left a comment from a long way away. I mean the south of Spain is over a thousand miles away but it can't be that hard to beat, can it?

Patouland getting back to normal.

I have not written a blog for a couple of days due to feeling pretty miserable.
Although I do tend to look a bit like an ageing thug I have always been the sort to wear my heart on my sleeve. If I am miserable everyone knows about it and if I am happy I spread warmth, happiness and merriment wherever I go, well not quite but you get the picture.

Anyway life will go on here although we are still dealing with the aftermath of Judy's dead cria. She is still clucking over the dead body almost 48 hours later and tomorrow we will have to make the decision to remove him and bury him in the grave I dug yesterday.
It really is sad watching her but today she has been moving away and I feel sure she will have accepted the death tomorrow. She is still pretty aggressive but that is to be expected.

Jonah, Jack and Juno are thriving and it is wonderful to see them running around the paddock together. Jonah is living up to his name (remember he was named after Jonah Lomu the enormous rugby player) he is huge and put on 2 kilos in his first week. The others are also showing a healthy weight gain so thats all tickety boo and fine and dandy.

This week will see the three 'J's and their mums return to the fold of the 'mighty' Patou herd.

The next batch of 'lardies' will be brought up to the birthing paddock so that we can keep a close eye on them. Amongst the next batch is my favourite alpaca in the whole wide world, Patou Lily our beautiful black girl. She is the daughter of one of our foundation herd members Mile End Bannock.

Lily's sire was Shaft's Dream and Lily took 2nd place at last years BAS Spring show and there was some pretty serious competition in the junior black female class I can assure you.

She is now pregnant to Atlantic Cambridge Centurion, one of our favourite males, he is housed at the magical world of Inca and is a teriffc looking male. His show results last year certainly back that up.

We have high hopes for her cria and her unpacking is the one we are looking forward to the most.

We have been treating Lily for a jaw abscess with Nuflor recently and it has meant that we have become all up close and personal with her again. She is such a lovely girl she doesn't need rounding up as she can be caught easily and having spent a lot of time with her last year at Alpaca and Agricultural shows it is nice to be in regular physical contact with her.

She's a beauty and anyone who says she isn't will get a punch on the hooter (metaphorically of course, I am fervently opposed to violence of any sort.......apparently)

A very sad day at Patou.

Some time ago a farmer friend of ours spoke to us about keeping livestock. We were new to alpacas and thought it was all great and fluffy. He gave us a few words of caution when he said 'If you have livestock, sooner or later you are going to have deadstock'. A cheery fellow he was.

I have never forgotten those words and knew that one day his prediction would come true. I hoped that it wouldn't.

This evening I'm afraid it did. We have had three gorgeous healthy cria in the past two weeks all born without problem, all doing well.

However, this evening Coolaroo Judah had a very rough ride. We noticed at 8pm that she had a crias head hanging out. It hadn't been there an hour before and she had shown no signs of being about to give birth all day.

Unfortunately it was quite apparent that the cria was dead. Judy was also very aggressive and simply couldn't shift it. The vet was called and David Hollingsworth our vet soon arrived.

With a little help the dead cria was delivered and thankfully Judy seems ok. It was a very big white male cria, Judy was 11 months and 15 days.

David said that the cria had been dead for sometime before it was born and that there was nothing that we could have done.

Sorry there are no laughs today but as it says at the beginning of this blog it has been a very sad day here in Patou land.

Update on herd additions.

What a nice drop of rain we had yesterday.

No cria born, they're not coming out until it's sunny again it seems.

However, the sun came out in the late afternoon and I spent some quality time lying around in the field with the new arrivals.

Here is Patou Jonah, sired by Canchones Witness of Inca. He is a big boy and towers over the other two.

This is Valley Farm Juno, a gorgeous dark fawn with white markings on her head. Her sire is CME Tulaco Centurion.

Finally (for now) here is the latest addition at two days old, Orchard Black Jack sired by Atlantic Cambridge Centurion. A very handsome little fellow with a very tight fleece.

Shearing time is approaching fast and the next set of dry days when I'm not working we shall make a start. The beauty of doing it myself this year is that they don't all have to be done on one day. We can wait until heavily pregnant girls give birth and then shear. Some people say that you can shear them right up to the day they give birth and maybe you can.

All I know is that last year we had the whole herd sheared on the same day and the two stressiest girls we have both had problems within ten days.

Six days after shearing Patou Bobby gave birth to Poppy at 10 months and a week, coincidence maybe.

We had to bottle feed Poppy until she was able to stand, that meant milking Bobby who I have just said is one of the stressiest girls we have. It was a bit spitty in there to say the least!

Four days later Coolaroo Judy had serious birthing problems and needed the vets assistance to get Sophie out. Again, coincidence maybe.

This year we are not taking any risks and will not shear anyone over 10 months pregnant. We'll see how we go.

The bad thing about shearing them ourselves is that I will be doing it and although I am looking forward to it I am anxious that I don't cut anyone. Still I won't get better at it unless I get stuck in so onwards and upwards etc.

Another early start!

Another surprise this morning in the land of Patou.

The lovely Mrs Steele left to walk Bryn and Josh, the mad labs, at ten past 6 this morning.

The day job means I have to leave early sometimes so Sue has to be back before I go so that Steele junior has company at breakfast time.

Anyway I digress.

Once again Sue returned with news of another early morning arrival!

Wellground Joy had unpacked a handsome little boy at around 6am. His sire is the mighty Atlantic Cambridge Centurion and he appears to have his famous fathers looks even at this early stage.
Joy is owned by friends Charlie and Louise Maidment. The new arrival was already up on his feet when we got to him and seems strong. He was feeding quickly and under Sue's supervision seemed to enjoy arriving on a lovely sunny day.

Charlie, Louise and Olivia came over this afternoon to examine the little chap and have provisionally called him Orchard Blackjack, Jack for short, obviously.

Here are Angus and Olivia saying hello to 'Jack' under the watchful eye of Joy.

What's going on? Three cria so far and two have come before 6.30am!

How early do they want us to get up exactly?

At the moment we get up at 6, perhaps we should get up when the sun rises and the sparrows start to pass wind?

Anyway I have decided that's enough boys, I have had a word and expect girls from the next 9 unpackings. Or else.

Or else what exactly?