Another busy day as a big lorry gets loaded

Another busy day today as Angus and I went to assist with the loading of the mighty Inca herd before its journey to the newly conquered land of Inca.

Tim was moving the entire 130 alpacas in one go and had booked an enormous truck to do the job. When I say 'to do the job' I mean to transport them to the new Inca HQ. That was the easy part. The main part of the job was loading the little darlings onto the truck in the first place.

I had a vision of them happily trotting up the ramp when given a little 'wayup' from behind. I'm sure Tim with his naturally optimistic view on life shared my vision.

In reality it was a very long way from that. The alpacas were sorted out into groups, stud males, mothers and babies, lardy girls (heavily pregnant), and the rest. The first group of 30 animals was mustered behind the truck and the ramp was lowered.

Guess what, not one of them wanted to get on, not one of them even wanted to get near, several wanted to spit, sit, run, jump, fly, climb a tree, anything but walk up a ramp into a cavernous big truck. We pushed, when I say we I refer to Timbo, myself, Trevor (Tracey's Dad) and a very bemused lorry driver, we pushed, shouted, whistled and cajoled to no effect. I'm sure at one point a death threat was issued. We regrouped and somehow the collective team that we had become formed a plan of attack. No-one seemed to say much but we attacked it once again slightly differently. I don't know how it was different, I don't really know what we did that we hadn't already tried but one by one those fluffy bottoms disappeared up the ramp into the void. Spirits were raised, smiles were seen, even jokes were cracked as we realised that this could be done, we would succeed.

The next group were easier, a few were slightly reluctant but slowly and surely the truck filled.

The clever bit that once the truck was fill it was time to raise the whole lot upstairs so that the rest of the herd could be loaded on the ground floor.

I walked to the front of the truck and manfully took the handle of the winching mechanism. Pretty soon my hands were working in a blur, the wheel whirred as I stuck to the task like a man possessed. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I worked that winch like a highly skilled winchman on a big racing yacht.
There was the smell of burning oil as the mechanism heated up. The entire floor started to rise, slowly at first but as I settled into a steady rythmn the speed increased and the floor with 70 alpacas on it hit its mark halfway up the wall of the truck. The floor rested back onto its mounts and I fell back off the handle totally spent, I could give no more, the job had been done. A cheer rose from the gathered crowd as..........................sorry couldn't help it, it was Trevors fault.

What actually happened is that the truck driver pressed a button and the floor went up. Not very exciting.

The second floor of alpacas was a doddle, they went in practically jumping over each other to get to the ramp, well not quite but it was much better. Soon the truck was full and we were heading our separate ways. The Inca tribe heading west with the truck, Angus and I returning to the mighty Patou herd.

The truck was awesome. Sadly I didn't have my camera with me so when me and the wee fellow returned home he drew a picture for the blog. He's a dab hand with a pen that boy.

As you can see it was a large red truck, a double decker of course with a large ramp at the back. As you can also see there are some very happy alpacas gaily trotting up the ramp.

Somehow I don't think Angus was paying attention. Or maybe he just sees things differently to the rest of us?

Just too knackered

I am writing this blog entry on a beautiful summer morning.

After a good nights sleep and a breakfast of home laid scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast with a nice glass of tomato juice I am revived, full of energy and raring to go.

A complete contrast to the poor fat old knacker that sat here last night.

I was up early yesterday to help a chum move. The Commander of the massed army of Inca is upping sticks and moving west to take up a strong impregnable position amongst the rolling hills of Dorset. Tim and Tracey have picked a super spot and if the law permitted it, with the help of a decent snipers rifle, they could pick off anyone approaching from almost any direction well before they became a threat. An absolute must in my little ideal dream world.

I hope they don't mind but I took a few photos and you can see from the picture below one of the magnificent views that they have.

Anyway after loading up with furniture it was off to the land with a busy day ahead. Luckily the weather had warmed up so it wasn't long before a lather was worked up, which stayed around all day. Suffice it to say that it was quite a sweaty day yesterday.

I had to finish at four as I had an appointment with the massed ranks of the Patou shearing team. Well Charlie and Kevin to be precise. Two good strong men who are up for a challenge.

I arrived home having been dreaming of a cool shower for several hours. It would have to wait, the team were ready and there were alpacas to shear.

Off we trooped in the Patou wagon to Liz Curzens' herd in nearby Tisbury.

Two sweaty back breaking hours later the job was done, the Tisbury herd were sheared. They looked much happier, jeepers there was some serious fleece on a few of them.

There was also a considerable amount of spit in a couple of them and the big boy Peter must have had a bladder the size of a football. Still we sheared to the best of our ability and hopefully Liz is happy with the way they look.

We packed up and debriefed back at Patou HQ. For debrief substitute cold beer and you get a more accurate picture of what happened.

The guys then left and I dragged myself upstairs for a shower. Down for a lovely supper cooked by the even lovelier Mrs S and then flop down in front of the TV. Shortly after that it was bed, a tired and very red (forgot the sun cream................again!) patou warrior.

A very satisfactory day and no doubt it has done me good.

I have to say though those buttocks are a bit on the stiff side this morning!

What a great day!

What a great day we have had here in the land of the Patou Warrior.

It has been a day of mixed emotions, highs and lows followed by fantastic teamwork, teamwork that has carried me on a high right through until the end of the day.

Let me talk you through the day as I saw it. If you are not interested in what happened here today you can of course log off and check out what happened elsewhere, your choice.

I had planned for a 10am start today, the shearing equipment was laid out the ropes, the mat, the clippers, the bags, buckets, you name it, I was ready.

10am came and went. I thought a lot about what was going on. I realised that although I was the shearer I was useless without a team. Without help in a major way I was as much use as a third whatnot on a doodah.

I relaxed and waited.

The team arrived, time didn't seem important. Good people had given up their time to come and help, people who had busy lives themselves. As the shearing team assembled I began to feel a sense of comingtogetherness. I know that's not a word but that is how it felt.

Charlie and Louise with their lovely daughter Olivia arrived first closely followed by Kevin, my chief handler.

As I have said before I am a bit of a control freak, I like to be in charge, I like nothing more than to be in charge of my own destiny. I back myself. I trust myself to get on and get stuff done but with alpaca shearing as with so many other alpaca related chores it is not a one man job. No, a team is required, a team of people who know what is required of them, a team that will stand tall and step up to the mark (there should be very loud inspirational music playing in your head here). A team willing to put their life on the line for their leader, a team willing to stop at nothing to achieve their goal, a team willing to follow their leader to the very edge (the music should be VERY loud now people!)

The team of which I talk arrived here in Chicksgrove this morning.

Charlie and Louise, Kevin and Gill, Matthew and Katie and of course the ever lovely Mrs Steele (actually she didn't arrive as she was here already).

At about 11am the work began. By 1pm, which was designated 'beer o'clock' the maternity herd had been sheared. All had gone relatively smoothly, one alpaca had a slight mishap but all went well.

All went well because the team worked like a smoothly oiled oily smooth thing.

The barbecue was lit and cold beer was administered, boy it was a hot one today.

A good time was had by all and I look forward to more shearing next week.

Grey day

What a miserable day it has been. As grey as my oldest pair of underpants.

It has drizzled here for most of the day and that has frustrated me in that I was unable to complete my full list of jobs. All there was on the television was the boring old golf and the boring old cricket. What I have to endure some days, it's terrible!

However, yesterday after three years of alpaca ownership we had our first case of the squits, loose bowel movements, runny bottom, call it anything you like apart from the 'd' word which I seem to spell a different way each time I write it.


Poor old Patou Fifi our fawn Wirococha's Dream girl was horrendously filthy at her rear end. That's her with some old bloke in the little arty picture that accompanies the blog. She doesn't seem to have lost any weight, seems to be acting normally and the rest of the mighty Patou seem fine.


I immediatley investigated in case there was another reason for the state she was in but there was no doubt in my mind. She was clean at the back the day before, her fleece was without twigs etc and it just looked like d......d.......that she had the squits.


Sue was at work so Elvie our 'alpaca watcher' and midwife colleague of Sue's kindly came over to give me a hand. Fifi was washed and trimmed thoroughly and dosed up with Baycox Bovis (coccidiosis), Ivomec Super (injectable wormer), Nuflor (antibiotic) and Kaolin ('firming agent'). In effect she had the works to cover all bases.


I have just been out to check her and she seems fine, still clean and looking absolutely normal. We will keep an eye on her but it appears that whatever nastiness was there has departed. Splendid, I don't like it when they are unwell.


The cria all seem to be thriving I put a coat back on the latest edition 'Minna' to give her a bit of protection against the drizzle but the rest are growing fleece fast.

However, there appears to be a real 'livewire' amongst the fluffy foursome. Orchard Blackjack after a slow start is now a right little terror. He is constantly badgering the others to play with him. Patou Jonah who is almost twice his size is charged at, jumped on, bitten, chased, rolled over and generally harassed until he joins in. The two of them then neck wrestle ending up with the grand finale of standing nose to nose spitting at each other. There's no spit of course just air accompanied by a sort of sneezing noise, highly amusing.

A birth, sports day and shearing begins.

First of all a quick update on the herd, a new arrival yesterday.

Windsong Valley Milarka a Purrumbete Highlander daughter (very rare in the UK) gave birth to a stunning little white female sired by the magnificently grumpy Accoyo Killawasi.

Milarka is for sale, we sold Milarka's last two daughters on behalf of her owner. This latest cria looks the business and arrived in textbook fashion.

Milarka, pictured here 'well fleeced up' can now be sheared safely and having organised a small shearing posse for this weekend she will be looking much tidier on Monday, weather permitting of course.

This afternoon I attended Steele junior's annual sports day. The sun shone, ice cream was bought and eaten and about a hundred kids ran around having a terrific time. Angus performed very well and came first in a running race. I say a running race because believe me as well as running races there was every other conceivable type of race suitable for primary school age children.

I was a very proud Dad amongst a sea of very proud Dads (lots of bunking off from work going on today).

Here is a photo of Angus winning the running race. That's my boy!!!!!!!!!

Anyway this evening I was off with my chum Kevin to Jo and Steve's where Patou Bo Jangles, Inca Bingo and Orchard Apollo have made their new home, it was time that they were sheared.

Here is a picture of the happy threesome after a considerable amount of fleece had been removed by yours truly.

It was a nervous time for me, those boys are lovely and I wanted to shear them well and I wanted Steve and Jo to be happy with the end result.

The boys were great, yes Bingo made a racket throughout and Apollo was a little annoyed about what was happening to him but my boy Bo was the star of the show. He didn't make a noise, didn't move a muscle and the fleece that came off him looked fantastic. What a fabulous colour he is. What a lovely little lad he is. I am so glad he is just down the road and I am so pleased he has gone to a home where he will be looked after with the care and attention that he and all alpacas deserve. It was good to see him. He really is a special little alpaca. I do love him.

Anyway I can now say with great pride that I have sheared a herd. A small herd I know, but a herd nevertheless.
This weekend the shearing of the mighty Patou herd will commence and to tell the truth I can't wait. I will do my very best for them and hopefully all will go well.

Holiday time is nearly here!

Very excited today folks, very excited. I have to travel the loathesome route to work this afternoon but then that is it for 3 weeks.

Yes, for three glorious weeks I can forget what I do to pay the bills and concentrate on being a full time Dad, husband and Alpaca farmer.

We are not going away anywhere just staying at home and getting on with things, enjoying each others company and hopefully welcoming some lovely little new alpacas into the world.

We also hope to enjoy some quality barbecue time with a few friends where we can talk gibberish after enjoying a glass or two of something nice.

Weather permitting shearing will get underway this week and they will all be done by the time I return to work.

If they are not all done, (barring heavily pregnant girls) I will request a small group of sturdy legged and large footed men to drag me outside to a sheltered location behind the field shelter. Once we are there and we are all ready I will request that they administer a severe shoeing to my posterior.

My last blog seemed to provoke some debate and reaction. I praised, and rightly so in my opinion, the many virtues of Lillyfield Jack of Spades of Inca.

A certain Mr Nonny Mouse was unable, unwilling or just too rude to identify himself (or herself for that matter) when he left a rather derogatory comment on the blog about the mighty Jack (Oh yes, I am on first name terms with the big'un, we are chums).

I have resisted the suggestion to restrict comments on the blog until they have been vetted. I welcome comments, as I have said before I get rather too excited when I see someone has taken the trouble to read and comment on my drivel.

Everyone has an opinion and I welcome that. I would of course rather they identified themselves but there we go, some people would rather hide behind the wall of anonymity, that's their problem not mine.

In the meantime good day to you all, I hope the sun is shining where you are and the hums are happy ones.

Knackered after a busy day.

I sit here writing with a very large cold pimms to my right, just reward for a busy day.

As usual the mad lab Josh woke us at 5.30am so that he could recycle something onto the garden for me to pick up later............git.

After that I tried to go back to sleep but the brain had switched on and the voices wouldn't shut up.

So up at 6 and out for a long walk with the hounds, it was a beautiful morning. On return the lovely Mrs S and I enjoyed a cup of tea and a chat in bed as the boy watched Tom and Jerry.

That was closely followed by a full english fry up, just the thing to get us up and running.

We then set off to Incaland where we collected a simply stunning black stud male, Lillyfield Jack of Spades of Inca.

If you haven't seen this boy and you are breeding black alpacas, or alpacas of any colour for that matter, I would thoroughly reccommend having a look at him. We think he is totally fab and I want my whole herd to look like him in a few years time.

In fact I want to look like him in a few years time ................................................ ok, just went a bit too far with the enthusiasm.

Seriously though he is without doubt my favourite stud male in the whole wide world. We are mating everything we have with him this year and I can't wait to see his cria. Damn, my closely guarded secret for 2010 show domination is out of the bag.

Anyway we stopped off at good friends Liz and Peter in Tisbury where we have our 'rent a wombs'. Liz doesn't want to increase the size of her small herd but feels that a good working womb should not go to waste! Jack was introduced to a lovely Mateus girl called Alice and we had a nice chat.

We then returned to the kingdom of Patou and whilst Jack was regirding his loins we carried out a herd check and did some jabbing etc. Jack then did some spitting off for us and was then back in the saddle with our lovely Priscilla. I then took him home.

After a quick bite to eat it was off to the local village and school fete where Angus and his school chums were performing a maypole dance.

First stop was the Pimms tent where Mrs S was helping out with the cucumber mountain. This was a seriously well attended fete. A quick wander round, purchased a couple of cheap books, cake, chocolate brownies, thank you very much I was off.

Home, grass cut, alpacas fed, chickens cleaned out and that was it 7pm time for a drink.

Must go now, need a refill.